looked up and saw that red weskit on the 'outskirts of the crowd, with the boozy, scowling face above it - he was glaring at me, tight-lipped, shredding what I guessed was a betting-slip between his fingers. He nodded at me twice, ominously, turned on his heel, and stalked away.
For Tighe had lost his bet, too. He'd backed me to lose, and Solomon to win - and we had tied. With all my floundering indecision and bad luck, I'd achieved the worst possible result all round. I'd lost Elspeth to Solomon and his damned cruise (for I couldn't oil out of paying now) and I'd cost Tighe a thousand to boot. He'd expose me for taking his money, and set his ruffians after me - oh, Jesus, and there was the Duke, too, vowing vengeance on me for deflowering his tiger lily. What a bloody pickle
'Why, are you all right, old fellow?' cries Solomon. 'You've gone pale again - here, help me get him into the shade - fetch some ice for his head—'
'Brandy,' I croaked. 'No, no, I mean … I'm first-rate; just a passing weakness - the bump, and my old wound, you know. I just need a moment … to recover … collect my thoughts … '
Horrid thoughts they were, too - how the deuce was I going to get out of this mess? And they say cricket's an innocent pastime!
* * *
[Extract from the diary of Mrs Flashman, June 1843]
The most famous thing has happened - darling Harry has consented to come with us on our voyage!!! and I am happy beyond all telling! He has even put aside the Prospect of his Appointment in the Life Guards - and all for Me! It was so unexpected (but that is so like my Dear Hero), for almost as soon as the match was over, and Don S. had claimed his Prize, H. said very seriously, that he had thought the matter over, and while he was reluctant to decline the Military Advancement that had been offered him, he could not bear to be parted from me!! Such Proof of his Devotion moved me to tears, and I could not forbear to embrace him - which display I suppose caused some remark, but I don't care!
Don S., of course, was very warm in agreeing that H. should come, once he had satisfied himself that my dear one was quite determined. Don S. is so good; he reminded H. of what a signal honour he was declining, in not going to the Life Guards, and asked was he perfectly certain he wished to come with us, explaining that he would not have H. make any sacrifice on our account. But My Darling said 'No, thank'ee, I'll come, if you don't mind,' in that straightforward way of his, rubbing his poor head, and looking so pale but determined. I was overjoyed, and longed to be private with him, so that I might better express my Deep Gratification at his decision, as well as my undying love. But - alas! - that is denied me for the moment, for almost at once H. announced that his decision necessitated his immediate departure for Town, where he has many Affairs to attend to before we sail. I offered to accompany him, of course, but he wouldn't hear of it, so reluctant is he to interrupt my holiday here - he is the Dearest of Husbands! So considerate. He explained that his Business would take him about a good deal, and he could not say where he would be for a day or so, but would join us at Dover, whence we sail for the Mysterious Orient.
So he has gone, not even staying to answer an invitation from our dear friend the Duke, to call upon him. I am instructed to say to all inquiries that he is gone away, on Private Business - for of course there are always People anxious to see and solicit my darling, so celebrated as he has become - not only Dukes and the like, but quite Ordinary Mortals as well, who hope to shake his hand, I dare say, and then tell their Acquaintances of it afterwards. In the meantime, dear diary, I am left alone - except for the company of Don S., of course, and dear Papa - to anticipate the Great Adventure which lies before us, and await that Joyous Reunion with my Beloved at Dover, which will be but the Prelude, I trust, to our Fairy-tale Journey into the Romantic Unknown …
[End of extract - G. de R.]
It was one thing to decide to go on Solomon's cruise, but quite another to get safe aboard; I had to spend ten days lurking in and about London like a gunpowder plotter, starting at my own shadow and keeping an eye skinned for the Duke's pluggers - and Daedalus Tighe's. You may think I was over-timid, and the danger none so great, but you don't know what people like the Duke were capable of in my young days; they thought they were still in the eighteenth century, and if you offended 'em they could have their bullies thrash you, and then trust to their title to keep them clear of the consequences. I was never a Reform Bill man myself, but there's no doubt the aristocracy needed its comb cutting.
In any event, it required no great arithmetic to decide to flee the country for a spell. It was sickening to have to give up the Life Guards, but if Tighe spread a scandal about me it might well force me to resign anyway - you could be an imbecile viscount with a cleft palate and still fit to command in the Household Brigade, but if they found you were taking a bookie's tin for favours, heaven help you, however famous a soldier you were. So there was nothing for it but to lie doggo until the boat sailed, and make one furtive visit to Horse Guards to tip Uncle Bindley the bad news. He quivered with disbelief down the length of his aristocratic spine when I told him.
'Do I apprehend,' says he, 'that you are refusing an appointment - free of purchase, may I remind you - in the Household Brigade, which has been specially procured for you at Lord Wellington's instance, in order to go junketing abroad with your wife, her extraordinary father, and this
. this person from Threadneedle Street?' He shuddered. 'It is nothing short of commercial travelling.'
'Can't be helped,' says I. 'There's no staying in England just now.'
'You realize this is tantamount to refusing an honour from the Throne itself? That you can never again hope for any similar mark of favour? I know that you are dead to most dictates of decent behaviour and common discretion, but surely even you can see—'
'Dammit, uncle!' cries I. 'I've got to go!'
He squinted down his long nose. 'You sound almost desperate. Am I right in supposing there will be some scandal if you do not?'
'Yes,' says I, reluctantly.
'Well, then that is entirely different,' cries he. 'Why could you not say so at once? I suppose it is some woman or other.'
I admitted it, and dropped a hint that the Duke of- was involved, but that it was all a misunderstanding, and Bindley sniffed again and said he had never known a time when the quality of the House of Peers was quite so low. He would speak to Wellington, he said, and since it was advisable for the family's credit that I should not be seen to be cutting the painter, he would see if some official colour couldn't be given to my Far Eastern visit. The result was that a day or two later, at the room over the pawn-shop where I was hiding out, I got a note instructing me to proceed forthwith to Singapore, there to examine and approve the first consignment of Australian horses which would be arriving next spring12 for the Company's Indian Army. Well done, old Bindley; he had his uses.
So then it was just a question of skulking down to Dover for the last of the month, which I accomplished, arriving after dark and legging it along the crowded quay with my valise, hoping to God that neither Tighe nor the Duke had camped out their ruffians to intercept me (they hadn't, of course, but if I've lived this long it's because I've always feared the worst and been ready for it). A boat took me out to Solomon's steam-brig, and there was a great reunion with my loved ones - Elspeth all over me clamouring to know where I had been, she was quite distracted, and Old Morrison grunting: 'Huh, ye've come, at the coo's tail as usual,' and muttering about a thief in the night. Solomon seemed delighted to see me, but I wasn't fooled - he was just masking his displeasure that he wouldn't have a clear run at Elspeth. That quite consoled me to making the voyage; it might be devilish inconvenient, in some ways, and I couldn't be quite easy in my mind at venturing East again, but at least I'd have my flighty piece under my eye. Indeed, when I reflected, that was my prime reason for going, and rated even above escaping Tighe and the Duke; looking back from mid-Channel, they didn't seem nearly so terrible, and I resigned myself to enjoying the cruise; why, it might turn out to be quite fun.
I'll give it to Solomon, he hadn't lied about the luxury of his brig, the Sulu Queen. She was quite the latest thing in screw vessels, driven by a wheel through her keel, twin-masted for sail, and with her funnel well back, so that the whole forward deck, which was reserved for us, was quite free of the belching smoke which covered the stern with smuts and left a great black cloud in our wake. Our cabins were under-deck aft, though, out of the reek, and they were tip-top; oak furniture screwed down, Persian carpets, panelled bulkheads with watercolour paintings, a mirrored dressing-table that had Elspeth clapping her hands, Chinese curtains, excellent crystal and a well-
