occupied and save his own skin. That's why he tried to put you out with the bath water tonight, confound it, don't you see?'
Well, put that way, it made sense. Everyone seemed to want a bloody war except Hardinge and yours truly —but I could see why Jawaheer's need was more urgent than most. I'd heard the Khalsa's opinion of him that after-noon, and seen the almighty funk he was in. That's what he'd meant, by God, when he'd pointed at me and yelled that the British would have cause to come—the evil, vicious bastard! He'd been lying in wait for my arrival … and suddenly a dreadful, incredible suspicion rushed in on me.
'My God! Did Broadfoot know that Jawaheer would try to kill me? Did he send me here to —'
He gave a barking laugh. 'Say, you have a high opinion of your betters, don't you? First Mai Jeendan, now Major Broadfoot! No, sir—that is not his style! Why, if he had foreseen such a thing …' He broke off, frowning, then shook his head. 'No, Jawaheer hatched his plot in the last few hours, I reckon—your arrival must have seemed to him a heaven-sent opportunity. He'd have taken it, too, if I hadn't been on your tail from the moment you arrived in the durbar room.' He blew out his cheeks in disbelief. 'I still can't get over that damned bath! You won't linger among the soap-suds again, I reckon.'
That was enough to bring me to my feet, reaching for his decanter without even a by-your-leave. God, what a tarantula's nest Broadfoot had plunged me into! I still couldn't put it straight in my mind, numb with the whirlwind of the last few hours. Had I fallen asleep over Crotchet Castle and dreamed it all—my balcony acrobatics, Mangla and Jawaheer and the dazzling spectacle of the durbar room, the drunken ecstatic coupling with Jeendan, the horror of the descending stone, the furious bloody scramble in which five lives were snuffed out in a bare minute, this incredible tartan Nemesis with his Khyber knife and Yankee twang,22 eyeing me bleakly as I punished his malt? Belatedly, I mumbled my thanks, adding that Broadfoot was lucky to have such an agent in Lahore, He snapped my head off.
'I'm not his confounded agent! I'm his friend—and so far as my duty to the Maharaja allows, I'm sympathetic to British interest. Broadfoot knows I'll help, which is why he gave you my watchword.' He restrained himself with difficulty. 'Inadvertently, by jiminy! But that's all, Mr Flashman. You and I will now go our separate ways, you won't address or even recognise me henceforth except as Gurdana Khan —'
'Henceforth? But I'll be going back—man alive, I can't stay here now, with Jawaheer —'
'The devil you can't! It's your duty, isn't it? Just because the war isn't going to start tomorrow doesn't mean it won't happen eventually. Oh, it will—and that's for years—and even he wouldn't have the hard neck . . You're sure he's a Broadfoot man? And no beard, eh? Well, we'll see! Jemadar, find the orderly, tell him the
After the events of the night, I doubted if Lahore could hold any further surprises—but d'you know, what followed was perhaps the most astonishing encounter between two men that ever I saw—and I was at Appomattox, remember, and saw Bismarck and Gully face to face with the mauleys, and held the shotgun when Hickok confronted Wesley Hardin. But what took place in Gardner's room laid over any of them.
We waited in silence until the jemadar knocked, and Jassa slid in, shifty as always. The moment his eye fell on the grim tartan figure he started as though he'd trod on hot coals, but then he recovered and looked inquiringly to me while Gardner viewed him almost in admiration.
'Not bad, Josiah,' says he. 'You may have the guiltiest conscience east of Suez, but by God you've sure got the brazenest forehead to go with it. I'd never ha' known you, clean-shaven.' His voice hardened to a bark. 'Now then—what's the game? Speak up, jildi!'
'None o' your goddam' business!' snaps Jassa. 'I'm a political agent in British service—ask him if you don't believe me! And that puts me outside your touch, Alick Gardner! So now!'
Said in Pushtu, I'd have held it a good answer—reckless, from what I'd seen of Gardner, but about what you'd expect from a Khyberie tough. But it was said in English—with an accent even more American than Gardner's own! I couldn't credit my ears—one bloody Yankee promenading about in Afghan fig was bad enough—but two? And the second one my own orderly, courtesy of Broadfoot … if I sat open-mouthed, d'you wonder? Gardner exploded.
'British political, my eye! Why, you crooked Quaker, you, if you're working for Broadfoot it must mean he doesn't know who you are! And he doesn't, I'll bet! No, because you're before his time, Josiah—you skipped out of Kabul before the British arrived, and wise you were! Sekundar Burnes knew you, though—for the double-dealing rascal you are! Pollock knows you, too—he ran you out of Burma, didn't he? Damn me if there's a town between Rangoon and Basra that you haven't left a shirt in! So, let's have it—what's your lay this time?'
'I don't answer to you,' says Jassa. 'Mr Flashman, if you care for this, I don't. You know I'm Major Broad- foot's agent -
'Hold your tongue or I'll have it out!' roars Gardner. 'Outside my touch, are you? We'll see! You know this man as Jassa,' says he to me. 'Well, let me perform the honours by presenting Dr Josiah Harlan of Philadelphia, former packet-rat, impostor, coiner, spy, traitor, revolutionary, and expert in every rascality he can think of—and can't he think, just? No common blackguard, mind you—Prince of Ghor once, weren't you, Josiah, and unfrocked governor of Gujerat, to say nothing of being a pretender (it's the truth, Flashman) to the throne of Afghanistan, no less! You know what they call this beauty up in the high hills? The Man Who Would Be King!' He came forward, thumbs in his belt, and stuck his jaw in Jassa's face. 'Well, you have one minute to tell me what you would be in Lahore, doctor! And don't say you're an orderly, pure and simple, because you've never been either!'
Jassa didn't move a muscle of his ugly, pock-marked face, but turned to me with a little inclination of his head. 'Leaving aside the insults, part of what he says is true. I was Prince of Ghor—but Colonel Gardner's memory is at fault. He hasn't told you that Lord Amherst personally appointed me surgeon to His Britannic Majesty's forces in the Burmese campaign —'
'Assistant surgeon, stealing spirits in an artillery field hospital!' scoffs Gardner.
'- or that I held high military command and the governorship of three districts under his late majesty, Raja Runjeet Singh —'
'Who kicked you out for counterfeiting, you damned scamp! Go ahead, tell him how you were ambassador to Dost Mohammed, and tried to start a revolution in Afghanistan, and sold him out more times than he could count! Tell him how you suborned Muhammed Khan to betray Peshawar to the Sikhs! Tell him how you lined your pockets on the Kunduz expedition, and cheated Reffi Bey, and had the gall to plant the Stars and Stripes on the Indian Caucasus, damn your impudence!' He paused for breath while Jassa stood cool as a trout. 'But why waste time? Tell him how you passed yourself off on Broadfoot. I'd enjoy hearing that, myself!'
Jassa gave him an inquiring look, as though to make sure he was done, and addressed me. 'Mr Flashman, I owe you an explanation, but not an apology. Why should I have told you what your own chief didn't? Broadfoot enlisted me more than a year ago; how much of my history he knows, I can't say—and I don't care. He knows his business and he trusts me, or I wouldn't be here. If you doubt me now, write to him, telling him what you've heard tonight … like everyone who's mixed in diplomacy in these parts, I'm used to having my reputation blown upon —'
'So- hard that it's scattered all over the bloody Himalayas!' snarls Gardner. 'If you're so all-fired trust-worthy … where were you tonight when Jawaheer tried to kill Flashman?'
He was clever, Gardner. Knowing his man as he did, the question must have been in his mind from the first, but he'd held it back to take Jassa off guard. He succeeded; Jassa gaped, stared from Gardner to me and back, and gasped hoarsely: 'What the hell d'you mean?'
Gardner told him in a few fierce sentences, watching him lynx-eyed, and Jassa was a sight to see. The bounce had quite gone out of him, and all he could do was rub his face and mutter 'Jesus!' before turning helplessly to me.
'I … I don't know … I must have been asleep, sir! After I pulled you on to the balcony, and you went off to the durbar room … well, I reckoned you were there for the night …' He avoided my eye. 'I … I went to bed, woke up an hour ago, saw you hadn't returned, asked around for you, but no one had seen you … then the jemadar came for me just now. That's the truth.' He rubbed his face again, and caught Gardner's eye. 'Christ, you don't think —'
'No, I don't!' growls Gardner, and shook his head at me. 'Whatever else you are—and that's plenty—you're not a murderer. And if you were, you'd be in the tall timber this minute. No, Josiah,' says he with grim satisfaction, 'you're just a lousy bodyguard—and I suggest Mr Flashman reports that to Major Broadfoot, too. And until he gets a reply, you can cool your heels in a cell, doctor —'
