Charlie’s Apprentice

‘Buy me another drink: if you storm off there’ll be something for me to stand here with in my hand.’

Charlie grinned back, beginning to like the encounter. He was lucky: there was a barmaid at their end of the bar. He handed Julia the refill and said: ‘So?’

‘You’re so bloody odd!’ she blurted. ‘I mean …’ Julia’s shoulders humped up and down. ‘That’s the only words for it: just bloody odd.’ She paused. ‘And there’s something else that doesn’t matter …’

Charlie was unsure how to pick up on that. He said: ‘Like going out with a man with one leg, an act of Christian charity?’

‘What a load of self-pitying bollocks!’ Julia erupted, laughing openly at him. ‘I can’t really believe you said that!’

That hadn’t gone the way it should have done. ‘I can’t either.’

‘I knew you’d be offended.’

‘I’m not.’ Charlie sought a different way forward. ‘I’m glad you accepted, anyway.’

‘Why?’

Shit! thought Charlie, off-balanced again. ‘It’s fun.’

‘Too soon to know whether it’s fun or not,’ she insisted.

This was turning out to be a bloody sight more difficult than he’d expected. ‘We’ll postpone the verdict, until another time.’

‘Who said there’s going to be another time?’

‘You’re right. I might not ask you again.’

‘I might not accept, if you do.’

‘You should be considerate to those forcibly retired.’

Julia frowned. ‘You’re not retired.’

‘Fact of life. You can’t argue with it.’

‘They seemed impressed with what you’ve just finished,’ she offered.

Now we’re getting there, decided Charlie, happily. ‘You must find it bloody difficult, acting for both of them: worked off your feet?’ He kept the remark as casual as he could, not even looking at her in the end, turning to motion for more drinks.

‘They created the system, where they were before.’ She smiled again. ‘They work incredibly closely all the time: it’s obviously more efficient that I know what’s going on with both of them. There’s a whole battery of secretaries to do the heavy stuff.’

He handed her the fresh glass. ‘You actually telling me it’s easy?’

‘I’m not telling you anything,’ Julia said, pointedly. ‘You forgotten what I told you the first day? I don’t – ever – talk about the job.’

Keep it light, determined Charlie, quickly. ‘Or get too familiar with the staff.’

‘That, too. That most of all.’

‘I wasn’t asking you to do either.’

‘You were coming close.’

‘I’m not going to try to persuade you to sleep with me,’ said Charlie.

‘Good. I won’t.’

‘Or talk about the job.’

‘Good. I won’t do that, either.’

Don’t you believe it, thought Charlie, seeing the evening as a challenge. ‘The system might have worked at counter-intelligence. Often things don’t transfer so well.’

‘I try not to make too many mistakes,’ she snapped.

Charlie realized he had hurt her pride and couldn’t quite understand why. He wondered how much further he could lead her on. ‘I’m glad they were happy with what I’ve done. It was a pretty odd experience. You know how I felt, all the time?’ Come on, my darling, Charlie thought: come on!

‘How?’ she asked, precisely on cue.

‘Jealous,’ said Charlie, briefly honest. ‘I kept thinking he was going to go out and do things that they don’t believe I’m any longer capable of doing …’ Julia moved to speak, but Charlie hurried on: ‘All that’s not more self- pity. That’s being objective, confronting the reality of being taken off the active operational roster.’

Julia hesitated. ‘You’re still at Westminster Bridge Road, aren’t you?’

‘That’s a consolation, I suppose,’ Charlie agreed, not wanting her to know he’d understood the significance of her remark, which he had, angry it hadn’t occurred to him before, which it should have done. How the hell could he lecture young entrants like John Gower about the importance of recognizing everything when he’d overlooked a fact as obvious as the one she’d just pointed out to him?

‘So you’re not going to like it?’

Charlie shrugged, seeking another avenue: chauvinism, he decided. Julia just might be the type to rise to what could seem to her a sexist remark. ‘It’s a case of having to like it, isn’t it? But it’s not just getting used to a new role: always in the past I’ve had a different relationship with those on the ninth floor.’

Julia stood looking at him quizzically, head slightly to one side. ‘Ha, hah!’

He thought she’d got it. Hopefully he said:’Ha, hah what?’

‘Do I infer that Mr Muffin doesn’t like the person to whom he’s responsible being a member of the female sex?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ said Charlie, trying not to overstress the phoney outrage of the denial.

‘You are!’ she insisted, pleased with her imagined insight.

‘I’m not,’ he denied again. It was important to keep the momentum going. ‘It’s just unusual for me, that’s all.’ He allowed another grin, thinking he’d spent practically the entire evening with his mouth stretched apart, like a fool. ‘Maybe I should invite her out, even though she’s the boss.’

‘Forget it,’ advised Julia, with curt but amused finality.

‘Why not?’ demanded Charlie, able to make the outrage open mockery this time. ‘She’s not married. There’s no ring.’ It wasn’t always an indicator, but Julia would have to respond one way or the other.

‘She doesn’t have to be.’

‘I don’t understand what you’ve just said,’ protested Charlie, who believed he did. Bingo! he thought.

‘I haven’t said anything.’

Careful, Charlie warned himself: very, very careful. ‘So she’s out of bounds?’

‘This conversation is.’

The moment for retreat, judged Charlie: the moment to scuttle away with the prize, like a dog with a juicy bone to be buried. ‘On my way here, coming up the hill, I saw what looked like a few good restaurants.’

‘I thought it was only supposed to be a drink?’

‘What’s wrong with dinner, as well?’

‘I imposed two rules,’ reminded the woman. ‘You tried to break one.’

‘Not intentionally,’ evaded Charlie. ‘I promise no hands on knees under the table.’

They ate at an American-style bar-restaurant called Kenny’s. Having achieved all he wanted, Charlie fully relaxed, genuinely enjoying the quickness with which Julia came back at him, telling invented anecdotes against himself and making her laugh a lot.

‘I’ve had a good time,’ she said. She’d refused his offer to escort her home: her taxi was waiting outside.

‘We could do it again sometime, if you’d like.’

Once again there was a moment of indecision. ‘I don’t know. I might. Same rules?’

‘Guaranteed.’

‘There’s a reason.’

‘There’s always a reason.’

‘This is special.’ She was very serious.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘No.’ She positively ended the conversation by walking away towards the waiting taxi.

Charlie stood politely, watching her leave. In no hurry himself, he ordered another cognac, wanting to