'What?'
'Can I come to the meeting?'
For the first time ever Irene looked at a loss. 'I'm sorry, that's not possible.'
'You mean there are things I might not want to hear?'
She smiled her reassuring smile. 'Not at all. Patients don't attend case conferences. It's just one of those things.'
'It's just that I think of it more as an investigation in which I'm involved.'
'There's nothing cloak-and-dagger about it. I'll come and see you straight away.'
I wasn't looking at her. My gaze was drawn to the window once more. 'I'll have my bag packed,' I said.
I didn't get Jack Cross that afternoon. He was too busy. I got a less important detective called Detective Constable Lavis. He was one of those men who was so tall that he was constantly ducking as if he was about to bump his head, even if he was in a room like mine that was about nine feet tall. He looked very much a stand-in, but he was friendly too, as if it was me and him against everybody else. He sat down on the chair next to my bed, which looked ridiculously small under him.
'I tried to contact Cross,' I said.
'He's out of the office,' Lavis said.
That's what they told me,' I said. 'I hoped he'd give me a call.'
'He's a bit busy,' Lavis said. 'He sent me.'
'I was going to tell him that I'm leaving the hospital.'
'Right,' said Lavis, as if he had hardly heard what I'd said. 'I'll pass that on. I've just been sent along to talk about a couple of things.'
'Like what?'
'Good news,' he said cheerfully. 'Your boyfriend. Terry Wilmott. We were getting a bit worried about him, but he's turned up.'
'Was he working or was he on a binge?'
'Bit of a drinker, is he?'
'From time to time.'
'I met him yesterday. He looked a bit pasty but he was all right.'
'Did he say where he'd been?'
'He said he'd been ill. He'd been staying in some cottage in Wales that a friend of his owns.'
'That sounds like Terry. Did he say anything else?'
'There was nothing much he had to contribute.'
'So the mystery is cleared up,' I said. 'Idiot. I'll give him a ring.'
'So he hasn't been in touch?'
'Obviously not.'
Lavis looked ill at ease. He reminded me of the sort of adolescent who blushed when you asked him the time.
'The boss has been sending me out on some inquiries,' he said. 'I called at your company, Jay and Joiner's. Nice people.'
'If you say so.'
'We were attempting to establish the sort of period when you disappeared.'
'Did you?'
I suppose.' He gave a sniff and looked around as if checking out an escape route. 'What are your plans?'
'I already said. I'm planning to leave tomorrow.'
'What about work?'
'I'll get in touch with them. I haven't really felt up to it but I suppose I'll go back in the next week or two.'
'You'll go back to work?' he said. He sounded surprised.
'What else? I've got a living to earn. And it's not just that. I've got to get back to normal life while there's a life for me to get to.'
'Yes, right,' said Lavis.
'I'm sorry,' I said. 'I know that my personal problems aren't really your business.'
'No,' said Lavis.
'I suppose you've got your hands full with the investigation.'
'Pretty much.'
'I know that I haven't been giving you much to go on.'
'We're doing what we can.'
'I'm really sorry that I couldn't find the place where I'd been held. I'm not exactly the greatest witness in criminal history. But I feel completely in the dark. Have there been any other developments? I suppose they must have checked out those names I gave Cross. The names of the other victims. I was hoping that would give them a clue. Have they found anything? I assume they haven't because if they had they would have told me. Except that nobody tells me anything. That's one of the problems about being in this bed, in this room. I think that if nothing else I've gained some kind of insight into what it's like to be old and ill. People just treat you as if you were slightly thick. Do you know what I mean? They come in here and they talk slowly and ask extremely simple questions as if I have a mental problem. And they don't believe I need to be told anything. I honestly think that if I didn't have a tantrum every so often, they would forget me altogether.'
The reason I was babbling on and on was that Lavis was shifting in his seat looking trapped and not answering, and the longer I babbled on the more trapped he looked. I felt that I'd become like one of those people in the street who walk along muttering to themselves and every so often they manage to stop someone and rant to them about their problems and about how everybody is out to get them.
'I haven't been able to tell you very much,' I said. 'I mean, I've said loads but it hasn't been much use.'
'No, that's fine,' said Lavis, as he stood up. He was about to make a break for it. 'I just needed to check a couple of things. As I said.'
'I'm sorry that I've been going on and on and on,' I said. 'I'm a bit stir crazy.'
'That's fine,' said Lavis, as he edged away from me towards the safety of the open door. But he didn't contradict me.
The St. Anthony Hospital NHS Trust
Date: 28 January 2002
Subject: Case Conference Abigail Elizabeth Devereaux, Room
4E, Barrington Wing. Hosp. No. 923903
Cc. Detective Chief Superintendent Gordon Lovell, Laurraine
Falkner (Chief Executive), Professor Ian Burke (Medical Director).
Record made by Susan Barton (Medical Administration Assistant).
nb: restricted circulation
Present: Detective Chief Superintendent Lovell, Detective Inspector Cross, Dr. Burns, Dr. Beddoes, Prof. Mulligan.
Detective Inspector Cross began the meeting with an account of the case and the progress of related investigation. On 22 January Ms Devereaux was brought by ambulance from Ferdinand Road. Interviewed the following day, she claimed to have been kidnapped and threatened with death. The investigation has been hampered by lack of independent evidence. Ms Devereaux is unable to recall her capture. She was kept hooded and bound. Her only significant memory was a list of female first names, the names her captor claimed to be previous victims.
Ms Devereaux escaped from this captivity but, on being escorted back to the area, was unfortunately unable to locate the place she had escaped from.
Dr. Beddoes asked if such escapes were unusual. DI Cross said his experience of such cases was limited. She asked if the investigation had made any progress at all. DI Cross said it was still in a preliminary stage.
Dr. Burns described the mostly superficial injuries suffered by Ms Devereaux. He stated that her dehydrated,
