The safe house

indeed, the school with that name. So could she point out somebody that Elsie had played with or stood next to for more than two minutes? Miss Karlin pointed to a mousy-brown-haired girl called Kirsty. So I loitered at the edge of the class like a private detective and when a woman approached Kirsty and attempted to insert her into a little duffle-coat, I accosted her.

‘Hello,’ I said ruthlessly, ‘I’m very glad that Elsie – that’s my little girl over there on the floor – and Kirsty have become such good friends.’

‘Have they? I didn’t…’

‘Kirsty must come and play at Elsie’s house.’

‘Well, maybe…’

‘What about tomorrow?’

‘Well, Kirsty’s not really used…’

‘It’ll be fine, Miss Karlin tells me that they’re absolutely inseparable. Linda will pick them both up and I’ll drop Kirsty back. Could you give me your address? Or would you prefer to collect her?’

That was Elsie’s social life sorted out. The rest of the day was unsatisfactory. After we arrived home, I steered Elsie away from Finn’s presence as much as was possible. The two of us ate alone together and then I took Elsie up to her room. She had a bath and I sat on the edge of her bed and read books to her.

‘Is Fing here?’

‘Finn.’

‘Fing.’

‘Finn.’

‘Fing.’

‘Fin-n-n-n-n-n.’

‘Fing-ng-ng-ng.’

I gave up.

‘Yes, she is.’

‘Where is she?’

‘I think she’s asleep,’ I lied.

‘Why?’

‘She’s tired.’

‘Is she ill?’

‘No. She just needs rest.’

This stalled Elsie for long enough for me to get her on to another subject.

On the following morning, I made a dismal attempt at retreating to my room and staring at the computer screen. I double-clicked the chess program. I thought I might as well have a quick one. A king’s pawn opening, the program took me into a complicated version of the Sicilian Defence. Without much thought, I established a favourable pawn structure and simplified with a series of exchanges. The program’s position was losing but it took a long and intricate series of manoeuvres to queen a pawn. Served the machine right, and a whole hour had gone. Bloody hell. Time for work.

I took a business card out of my pocket and ran it along the interstices of my keyboard. I managed to prod out a surprising amount of dust, fluff and hair that had been trapped underneath, so I began to tackle the problem systematically. I ran the card between the number line of keys and the QWERTY line, between the QWERTY line and the ASDF line, between the asdf line and the ZXCV line. By the end I had a small grubby pile, about enough to stuff the pillow of a dormouse. I blew it hard and it drifted down behind my desk.

The very idea of getting any work done was absurd. I hate spiders. It is a ridiculous distaste, because I know how interesting they are and all that, but I can’t bear them. I felt as if I had glimpsed a spider in the room and it had scuttled away. I knew it was in the room somewhere and I could think of nothing else. Finn was in the house and I felt as if she was rattling around in my brain. I looked at the business card, the corners of which were now grubby and curled. It was the one that Michael Daley had left with me. I dialled the number of his surgery. He wasn’t there and I left my name. Less than a minute later he rang back.

‘How’s she doing?’ he asked immediately.

I described Finn’s demeanour and expressed my doubts about the whole affair. When I had finished, there was a long silence.

‘Are you there?’

‘Yes,’ Daley started to say something and then stopped. ‘I’m not sure what to say. I think you’re being put in an impossible position. I’m worried about Finn as well. Let me think about this.’

‘To be honest, Michael, I think this is a farce. I don’t believe it’s doing anybody any good.’

‘You’re probably right. We must talk.’

‘We are talking.’

‘Sorry, yes. Can I come and see her?’

‘When?’

‘Straight away.’

‘Haven’t you got surgery?’

‘It’s finished and I’ve got a spare hour.’

‘That’s fine. Christ, Michael, a doctor who offers to make housecalls. We should have you stuffed.’

Daley arrived barely a quarter of an hour later. He was dressed for work, with a dark suit, a bright tie and a jacket. He’d shaved and brushed his hair, but he had a pleasingly incongruous appearance. His expression was concerned, unsettled even.

‘Can I see her?’

‘Sure, she’s watching TV. Take as much time as you want. Do you want tea or something?’

‘Later. Give me a few minutes. I’d like a look at her.’

Daley disappeared into the living room and shut the door. I picked up a newspaper and waited. I could hear the TV through the wall, nothing else. After some time, he emerged, looking as sombre as before. He came through to me in the kitchen.

‘I’ll have that tea now,’ he said. He ran his hand through his hair.

I filled the kettle and plugged it in.

‘Well?’

‘She didn’t speak to me either. I had a quick look at her. Physically, she’s fine. As you already know.’

‘That’s not the issue, is it?’

‘No.’

I moved mugs around, found tea-bags, rattled spoons, while waiting for the kettle to boil.

‘A watched kettle takes about three minutes to boil,’ I said.

Michael didn’t reply. Finally, I put two mugs of tea in front of him and sat opposite.

‘I can’t give you my undivided attention for long,’ I said. ‘Linda will be back with Elsie and Elsie’s new friend, or ersatz friend at least.’

‘I’ve got to go anyway,’ said Michael. ‘Look, Sam, I’m sorry about you having been landed with all this. It’s not working. And it’s not your fault. Don’t do anything. Give me a day or so. I’ll ring Baird and we’ll get her off your hands.’

‘That’s not what I mean,’ I said uneasily. ‘It’s not a question of getting anybody off my hands.’

‘No, no, of course not. I’m speaking as Finn’s doctor. I don’t believe this is appropriate for her. Secondly, and quite separately, it’s no good for you either. I’ll ring you tomorrow afternoon and let you know what we’re going to do.’

He rested his head in the cup of one hand and smiled at me. ‘OK?’

‘I’m sorry about this, Michael,’ I said. ‘I hate feeling that I can’t do something, but this…’ I gave a shrug.

‘Absolutely,’ he said.

The first appearance of Kirsty was not promising. Elsie ran straight past me. Linda came in holding a grim- faced child by the hand.

‘Hello, Kirsty,’ I said.

‘I want my mummy,’ she said.