The safe house

Baird spoke softly, as if to a small child seated on his lap. I nodded. Not too hard. Nothing hysterical or over- eager.

‘Did you hear what I said, Dr Laschen?’

‘Yes, of course. Well, thank you, Mr Baird, for coming to tell me. I won’t take up any more of your time.’

Chris Angeloglou leaned forward.

‘Is there anything you would like to ask us? Anything you want to say?’

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, looking at my watch. ‘The problem is that it’s almost time for me to go and get… er… my child.’

‘Can’t Linda do that?’

‘Can she? I can’t…’

As Baird spoke I had been entirely clear about what was happening. While listening to the information I had also been observing with a professional interest the manner in which he conveyed painful news. And I had considered my own response with total clarity. I felt tears running down my face and realized I was crying with sobs that shook my whole body. I cried and cried until I felt myself almost gagging with all the grief and pain. I felt a hand on my shoulder and then a mug of tea was pressed against my lips and I felt surprised because not enough time seemed to have passed for tea to be made and brewed and poured out. I gulped and sipped some tea and burned my mouth. I tried to speak and couldn’t. I took some deep breaths and tried again.

‘Crashed?’ I asked.

Baird shook his head.

‘What?’ It was hardly more than a croak.

‘A note was found by the car.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘It was addressed to you.’

‘To me?’ I said inertly.

‘The note is written by Miss Mackenzie. She writes that after the realization of what they have done, done to you, above all, they feel there is nothing to live for and they have elected to die together.’

‘They committed suicide?’ I asked stupidly.

‘That is our working assumption.’

‘That’s ridiculous.’ The two were silent. ‘Don’t you hear what I’m saying? It’s ridiculous and impossible. Danny would never, never, have killed himself. Under any circumstances. He… How did they?’

I looked at Baird. He had been clutching a pair of gloves in one hand and now he was twisting them, hard, as if he were trying to wring water out of them.

‘Is this something you need…?’

‘Yes.’

‘The car was set alight using a rag inserted into the petrol tank. It appears that they then shot themselves, each with a single shot to the head. A handgun was retrieved at the scene.’

‘A gun?’ I said. ‘Where did they get a gun from?’

Rupert swallowed painfully and shifted his position.

‘The gun was registered to Leopold Mackenzie,’ he murmured in a low voice.

It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing, and when I did realize I felt dizzy with rage.

‘Are you suggesting that Finn had gained possession of her father’s gun?’ Baird shrugged shamefacedly. ‘And that she had it in this house? Didn’t you know that Mackenzie had a gun and that it was missing?’

‘No,’ said Baird. ‘This is difficult for us and I know it must be difficult for you.’

‘Don’t patronize me, Rupert, with all your prepared psychological jargon.’

‘I didn’t mean that, Sam,’ Baird said softly. ‘I meant that it must be difficult for you.’

I started.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean this happening again, for a second time.’

I sank back in my chair, miserable and defeated.

‘You bastards. You have done your research, haven’t you?’

Twenty-Four

‘I can count to a hundred.’

‘No! Go on then.’

‘One, two, skip a few, ninety-nine, a hundred.’

I chuckled appreciatively, hands on the wheel, eyes on the road, dark glasses covering my bloodshot gaze.

‘And listen. Knock knock.’

‘Who’s there?’

‘Isobel.’

‘Isobel who?’

‘Isobel necessary on a bicycle? And listen, listen. How does Batman’s mummy call him in for supper?’

‘I don’t know. How does Batman’s mummy call him in for supper?’

‘Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner, dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner. Batman!’

‘Who told you that one?’

‘Joshua who loves me and kisses me on the slide when Miss isn’t looking and we’re going to get married when we’re growed. And how many ears does Davy Crockett have?’

‘I don’t know, how many ears does Davy Crockett have?’

‘Three. A left ear, a right ear and a wild ear. I don’t understand that joke.’

‘Well, it’s a wild front ear. Who told it to you?’

‘Danny. Danny sang it one day, and then he laughed a lot.’

‘Look,’ I said brightly. ‘Here’s Kirsty’s house.’

Kirsty came to the door, white socks pulled firmly up to her plump knees, smocked blue dress with a crisp white collar, red coat trailing behind, shiny hair-slide in her shiny brown hair.

‘Isn’t Fing coming with us?’ she asked when she saw me and Elsie. Behind her, Mrs Langley was mouthing widely: ‘I-haven’t-told-her-yet.’

‘Fing’s…’ began Elsie importantly.

‘Not-today-Kirsty-but-we’re-going-to-have-a-lovely-time-and-where-are-your-swimming-things-and-jump-in- the-car-and-don’t-you-look-smart-and-up-you-go,’ I rattled out, as if I could push the question away if I spoke fast enough and long enough, replace it by thoughts of chloriney water and crisps afterwards, and an afternoon spent in the hot dark of the old cinema, where balding velvety seats flipped back and popcorn rolled along the floor, where cartoon characters could be bashed and squashed and dropped in boiling oil and still come back to life.

Mrs Langley leaned in through my window, looking avidly sympathetic, and placed a smooth hand over my callused one, which was clenching the steering-wheel. She files her nails, I thought.

‘If there’s anything I…’

‘Thank you. I’ll bring Kirsty back this afternoon.’ I grabbed away my hand and turned the key in the ignition. ‘Are you both belted in, girls?’

‘Yes,’ they chorused, sitting neatly side by side, two pairs of feet dangling in their patent-leather shoes, two eager faces.

‘OK, let’s go.’

Kirsty and Elsie floated decorously in their rubber rings and armbands, so buoyed up their torsos hardly got wet. Their white legs scampered in the water, their faces were pink with the sense of their own courage.