“Sorry that I can’t go any faster; my foot hurts. Do you remember when I broke it? Do you? After that it’s never been the same. No, I’m not complaining. I can both walk and run, but I twist it easily and sprain it… No I really am not complaining, not like you. I can come and go just as I please. How does it feel now, Flora? I’m going to put you in your favorite chair, where you sat with Pappa all those years ago. You can look out into the mist if you want. You can imagine that it’s summer and you’re sitting on the balcony and the sun is round and hot, and Pappa is in the boat down there. I’m just going to take off my jacket and lock the car. If the phone rings, answer it. No, that was stupid of me, just plain thoughtless of me. Sorry.”
She took a long time. She made coffee and prepared a coffee tray. The bird was in her room; the door was shut. She heard him cawing in there, how he heard her voice and wanted out.
Flora sat just where she’d been left, her head slightly turned toward the window.
“Would you like some coffee? I can help you. Open your mouth and sip. Is it too warm? No I don’t think so. Are you sitting here and thinking about old times, how we used to have it, you and I?… What is that? The sound you mean? I have a pet living here, you know; you met Rattie yesterday. I call her that even though she’s not a rat. She was with me in bed last night for a little while, but I was afraid I might suffocate her, so I put her back in her cage. She was warm and soft. I have a bird, too. You’ll meet him in a minute, but drink up now; he’s such a bother when we’re eating…”
A sharp ring, the telephone.
“Is it you?” she said breathlessly.
“I guess I should always answer yes to that kind of question,” said a hearty voice. “Jacob Hellstrand, the agent.”
“I don’t have time and I’m still not interested.”
“I have developers who are ready to pay whatever you ask. You’d be crazy not to grab this kind of offer.”
“Don’t you understand that no means no!” she yelled, and slammed down the phone.
She went to Flora. Flora’s saliva was running down her chin and on to her neck. Her pupils glowed and burned.
Justine stuck her face right into Flora’s.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Have you ever heard that passage, Flora? Jesus said it, and it’s a good rule to follow, even today.”
She lifted up the old woman, carried her in her arms like a child.
“Let’s go for a tour of the house; that must interest you. Here’s the kitchen, just as it was; here’s the blue room. I’ve honored your memory, as you can see. And then the basement, oh yes… we’re going there, too. Do you remember what you had down there, Flora? Do you remember what was hiding behind that door? Do you remember?”
Flora had begun to make noises. She threw her head around; the high-pitched wail intensified to a muddled, long drawn-out howl. They had come into the room with the washtub. Justine climbed carefully up onto the cement block where the tub was standing. She lifted Flora slightly into the air and then lowered her gently into the tub.
Then she went to get the bird.
She was at the funeral director’s when the telephone rang. They had a fine, thorough conversation, the coffin had been ordered and they had chosen some beautiful songs that the old woman would have liked. It would be a simple ceremony, simple but dignified. The director had promised to sing, and he knew someone who played the flute.
“And how would you prefer the obituary?” he asked, right as she stood up to go.
She gave him a weak, sorrowful smile.
“Let’s not bother with it. I’ll write to those concerned. It will be more personal that way.”
But the telephone rang. She had long since given up hope.
“I got your little note,” he said, and happiness flowed into her like honey. But she was silent.
“Justine? Are you still there?”
Everything broke through; she had to place the receiver to one side. She heard his voice, how he called and pleaded.
“Yes, I’m here,” she said at last.
“You don’t have to ask for forgiveness! Like you wrote in your note. Not at all, it’s me…”
“You just disappeared,” she snuffled.
“I called before, but you weren’t home. Or maybe you’d taken the phone off the hook.”
“You could have called again.”
“It wasn’t easy… you understand.”
“What happened? I even called the hotel.”
“My mother. I had to go right away.”
“Your mother?”
“She’d always been so healthy. But… she just had a heart attack.”
“Oh no, that can’t be true!”
“Yes… but things are going better now. She’ll come through. We’ve been staying at the hospital, Pappa and me. You have to know… I’ve missed you and have been longing for you, too.”
“Are you sure she’s going to be all right?”
“Oh yes, yes. At least for a while.”
She was crying again, had to go get some kitchen towels.
“What’s going on with you, Justine?”
“You must come over, I’ll explain everything.”
He arrived at her house within a half an hour. He embraced her, kissed her, rocked her back and forth. She let herself be heavy and limp.
“Come,” she whispered. “Let’s go upstairs.”
She opened the door to the bedroom.
“We can be in here. I’ve redecorated a bit. This used to be my parents’ bedroom. I think it’s better that I have it now.”
She crept onto the bedspread. He lay behind her with his clothes on.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he whispered. “I’m here now. Why are you so despairing?”
“It’s just that… you must understand, Hans Peter… that bad luck follows me around… evil deeds.”
“What are you talking about?”
“A policeman was here last Monday. He told me that.
She felt his lips on her neck, but his breathing was shorter. He was on guard.
“Why did a policeman come visit?”
“The man I’d been with, Nathan, I mentioned him to you; he just disappeared in the jungle. We never found him. We had to leave without him… it was… terrible. And then… when we were going to return home to Sweden, a crazy guy burst into our hotel room and a girl who was traveling with us, we were sharing a room, she and I… he stabbed her to death… she died immediately. You probably read about it in the newspapers. And now… now a classmate of mine has disappeared. She was here visiting me, you know, a week ago Saturday… She never arrived home. The policeman was here searching for her… but now… now I really don’t know anymore… last Tuesday… I took my foster mother here. She is old and paralyzed. She lives in a nursing home, and I thought she would be happy to come home…”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“Suddenly she was just sitting there dead. We were in the basement. The bird came. I watched him fly, and suddenly… she was just dead.”
“Dearest little Justine.”
She turned toward him, cried into his blue shirt.
“Leave me if you must. I understand completely.”
“These must just be unhappy coincidences. It’s not your fault, little silly.”
“But why did he say that, the policeman?”
