The New Neighbor

laughed, embarrassed that she'd even considered telling Lorelle what was bothering her, and finished off her wine.

Watch it, she thought. You've had more than a few of those.

'I'll get you another.' Lorelle took the cup and was gone before Karen could protest.

So she looked at the sculpture again.

Coming back into the living room with another cup of wine, Lorelle asked, 'What were you about to say?'

'Oh, nothing.'

'Come on. No fair teasing. You were about to say something about the sculpture.'

Karen laughed again. 'No, it's nothing. Really, I guess I'm just not used to drinking this much wine.'

'Is it the woman? I know she doesn't exactly meet the current standards of beauty.'

'No.'

'Her wings?'

'No, really, I'm just – “

'The man?'

'No, no, it's just, um… his penis,' she whispered suddenly with a wince, surprising herself.

Lorelle lifted a brow, 'His penis?'

'God, that sounds awful, doesn't it?'

'Not at all. What about his penis?'

'Well, it looks so real.'

'Does that bother you?'

'Well, um, it's very well done and… I just… well, I know this sounds crazy and you'll probably think there's something wrong with me, but… I think they're so ugly.'

Lorelle slapped her thigh, threw back her head and laughed. 'I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Karen. I know a lot of women who think they're ugly. And – “ She turned to her sculpture, “ – in a way, I have to agree. Aesthetically, there's not a great deal to recommend them, is there?'

Snickering into her palm, Karen shook her head.

'How does your husband feel about your opinion of the male organ?'

'He doesn't know,' she laughed.

'You haven't told him?'

'Do you think I should? Seems like most men would be crushed. They all seem so – “ she snickered again, “ – emotionally attached to that part of their body, so sensitive about it.'

'Yeah. If you speak anything less than words of praise about it in their presence, they get a sort of hurt look in their eyes, like… like a child does when he shows you his latest finger-painting and you ask, 'What's it supposed to be?''

'Yes, exactly!'

They roared with laughter, nodding and slapping the sofa cushions. When their laughter began to die, Lorelle said, 'But they do sort of make up for their unsavory physical attributes, don't you think? Penises, I mean.'

Karen squirmed; her smile fell away and she sipped her wine, staring into the cup. 'Yeah, I… I suppose so.'

'You don't sound too sure.'

'Well, I… yeah. Yeah, they do.'

Lorelle frowned and touched Karen's arm with affectionate concern. 'Is something wrong? Are you having problems at home?'

'Oh, no, it's nothing like that. George is great. He's different than any other man I've ever been with, or I wouldn't have married him. I mean, we don't talk about it much, but he… well, I guess we've never talked about it. But he seems to understand.'

'Understand what?'

'That I… that I don't really… ' She sighed and scrubbed her face with her hand. 'I don't know. Sometimes I think there really is something wrong with me. That I'm crazy, or something. I'd see a therapist if I thought it'd do any good. But I'm one of those people who believes that psychotherapy was invented by someone who saw a chance to make some major bucks without getting a real job.' She laughed, but there was no humor in her voice.

'What is it, Karen?' Lorelle leaned toward her, eyes narrowing with concern. 'You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But if you do, I'm willing to listen.'

She thought for several long moments. She'd never shared her thoughts on the subject with anyone, not even Lynda. After taking a deep breath, she spoke very slowly.

“I don't just think they're unattractive. You know… penises. I think they're… well… repulsive. All of them. I've never seen one that I wanted to touch. I mean really wanted to touch. Even with George… I love him, I really do. He's been so good to me. He's understanding and accepting, he doesn't make a lot of demands… hardly any, really. And the ones he does make are reasonable. I know that sex is something he enjoys and… he's so different from the other men I've been with. He's a very good lover, very giving. And I love him, I really do, but… even so, I'm… I can't… well, it's hard for me to … do it. I thought I would feel differently with time, but still… it's just like all the others. A stubby, wrinkly, one-eyed worm. And he wants to put it in… side me. I let him, of course, because I love him and want him to be happy. I don't want to lose him. But… I don't enjoy it. Even now, after all these years. I can't get excited about it. And I know that, although he doesn't say anything about it, that bothers him. I know he'd like me to be very… sexual. Like his first wife. But I just can't. Because – “ Karen looked at the onyx erection across the room. ' – of that. It has nothing to do with him, with the kind of person he is. It's just that… thing.' Smiling at Lorelle, she said, 'I guess that's what bothered me about your sculpture. It's very beautiful, but – “ She laughed again. ' – it's got a dick.'

Lorelle laughed too, then took Karen's hand and squeezed it.

'There's nothing wrong with you, honey,' she whispered. 'You don't need a therapist. That's just the way you feel, that's all.”

'Well, if I don't need a therapist, what do I need?'

'You need a nice piece of jewelry.' She began emptying the contents of the box onto the table. 'And if you can't find one here, I'll make you one.'

They went on sipping their wine as they sifted through the many pieces of jewelry Lorelle produced from the boxes she'd stacked on the floor by the sofa; and each time Karen found one she was especially fond of, she set it aside, until she found something she could not resist and had to try on. It was a pair of pyramid-shaped onyx earrings with an eye-shaped sapphire set into all four sides of each one.

'You like those?' Lorelle asked, smiling.

'I love them!' She put them on and ran her fingers over them as they dangled from her earlobes.

'You know, I have a necklace somewhere around here that goes perfectly with those earrings. Let me get you some more wine and we'll go find it.'

A moment later, she returned with a filled cup for Karen, then led her down the hall into the bedroom, where a few unpacked boxes were stacked against the walls. She fished through one of them until she found a smaller box, and removed from it a necklace of onyx cubes – each of which sparkled with a speck of sapphire – joined by beads of sterling silver. She seated Karen at the dresser facing the mirror and rested the cubes on her chest, fastening the necklace in the back.

Karen pulled back the collar of her plaid shirt, but it wouldn't stay, so she unfastened the top two buttons and let the necklace rest against her bare skin. Lorelle reached over Karen's shoulders and gently patted the necklace, then placed both palms flat on her chest. They were warm against Karen's skin, smooth.

'What do you think?' Lorelle asked, resting her chin on Karen's shoulder.

'I love it.'

'You have good skin,' she said, gently stroking Karen's chest. 'Perfect for necklaces, because you don't have