The New Neighbor

A few years later, when she shared that bit of motherly advice with Denise Hubert, her college roommate, Denise had thought she was joking. When she realized Karen was not, Denise was appalled.

'You didn't believe her, did you?' Denise asked.

'Why? Isn't it true?'

'Of course not! Everybody enjoys it!'

Although she did not voice her response at the time, Karen had thought, Not everybody.

Against the advice of her mother, Karen had one boyfriend in high school. (If she'd followed her mother's advice, she would have stayed away from men entirely.) Karen was not unattractive in high school, nor was she unpopular. She was studious and got impeccable grades and was active in school politics. But she was not a very good dancer and attended very few parties and only went out with groups, never on dates with boys. At least, not until Michael came along.

Karen did not particularly like Michael, but he liked her. He asked her out often and sat next to her in classes whenever possible. He was a popular boy, a jock, the kind of boy who made girls sigh and roll their eyes dreamily. Every girl Karen knew expressed shock at her indifference and, after enough of them told her to 'go for it,' she decided it was probably the thing to do and followed their advice, rejecting her mothers.

After a movie, then burgers and fries at the Pack-Out – all of which Karen enjoyed so much she wished she'd done it sooner – he drove her up Hilltop Drive to the water tower. It was a favorite parking spot among the local teenagers. He parked at the edge of the bluffs that overlooked Redding.

Karen had never been to the bluffs, although she'd been invited. She knew there was only one reason for going there and had never been invited by someone she wanted to make out with. She wasn't sure she wanted to make out at all. She wasn't terribly enthused about going there with Michael, either, but she knew it was expected so she did not protest.

He had a joint and a bottle of Jack Daniels. She turned down both at first, but finally gave in when he started to get angry. Other cars came and went around them and the lights of Redding flickered below. Michael did not take long to make a move and she went along with it, rather enjoying the kissing and the way his hands felt on her. But that lasted only for a few minutes. Then he started handling her roughly, feeling her all over, panting as he clumsily pressed himself against her and pried her mouth open with his tongue. She tried to push him away at first, but remembered how quickly he'd gotten angry when she refused to smoke the joint or drink any of his booze. She decided not to risk angering him any more. After a while, he took his hands off of her and seemed to struggle with something for a moment, then grabbed her hand roughly and pressed it to his lap where he'd opened his pants. He closed her hand around something fat and hard and sticky and Karen gasped, pulling away from him.

'Stroke it,' he said, putting his hands on her again and holding her close.

She took her hand away and pulled back a second time, gawking at his erection.

'C'mon,' he panted 'stroke it.'

'Nuh-no.'

'What?'

She just shook her head, still watching his cock as it twitched now and then, almost as if it were trying to break free of him, pull itself loose and just fall off so it could move about on its own.

'Well then – “ Michael put his hand behind her head and pulled her face down into his lap. “ – suck it.'

With her face less than an inch from his rigid penis, Karen gasped and inhaled his damp musk odor, then clamped her mouth shut and just stared at it for a moment.

She'd never seen one before, except for the drawn illustrations in the medical book on her mother's shelf. In fact, she'd been exposed to very few men while growing up. Her father had left them when she was very small (later, she learned he'd run off with the woman who ran the soda fountain in Woolworth's, which explained the bitter way Karen's mother spoke of him all those years later and right up until her death) and she had no brothers. In grammar school, none of the girls seemed interested in boys, until high school, when all of that changed. But it hadn't changed for Karen. Not much, anyway. She was not uncomfortable with them, even enjoyed the company of a couple of unusually intelligent and interesting boys on campus. But this…

It was ugly. Fat and stubby and lumpy with veins and topped with a puffy mushroom cap that had a glistening slit at the top, like an opening made with a single stroke of a razor blade, bleeding a clear thick fluid. And it kept twitching, impatient and restless.

'Come on!' Michael hissed. 'Stroke it! Suck it or lick it, just do something!'

But she only stared at it, not even wanting to touch it.

His breath was hot against her ear as he whispered, 'We'll go steady. Would you like that? Going steady? Huh?' He reached under her top and kneaded one breast with his hand. 'We'll go steady… if you'll just suck my cock.'

We'll go steady…

Karen thought about that as she stared at Michael's cock, so close that her nose was almost touching its moist head, which looked obscenely large, like a fleshy doorknob. Going steady with Michael would undeniably have its benefits, not the least of which would be the delight of being the envy of every girl on campus.

But was it worth this?

She touched it, cautiously at first, then wrapped her fingers around the hard shaft. He squirmed at her touch and his breathing became more frantic as she began moving her hand up and down. Carefully, just to see what it would be like, she opened her mouth, stuck her tongue out and touched the tip of it to his cock and -

– Michael squeezed the back of her neck and shoved her head down hard, at the same time thrusting his erection into her mouth. She gagged, clenched her eyes shut and struggled helplessly under his hold.

After a few moments, her struggles stopped and she allowed Michael to lift her head up and down, up and down, as if she were a puppet, until he exploded in her mouth and clogged her throat with semen. She quickly spun around, threw the car door opened and emptied her half-digested burger and fries onto the ground outside.

'Jesus Christ,' he grumbled, starting the car after he fastened his pants, 'did you have to throw up?'

She took a handkerchief from her purse and wiped her mouth, stomach still lurching, then whispered, 'I'm sorry. I… won't… do it… again.'

Michael and Karen went steady for nearly four months and, during that time, Karen was the envy of every girl on campus. And, although they made many trips back to the bluffs, she never vomited again. She came close several times, but would not let herself. Neither did she enjoy the things they did up there. There were a few moments of pleasure when Michael touched her in just the right place and in just the right way, but they were always accidental and all too brief. She kept returning to the bluffs with Michael only because she rather enjoyed going steady with him.

That was when she began to believe her mother was right.

There had been other men since Michael, but not many, and none of them had lasted long. They soon grew tired of her indifference in bed, tired of her unwillingness to go along with their every sexual whim.

George was different. He was far gentler than any of the others, more giving, as concerned about her pleasure as his own. After their third time together, he'd become serious and said, 'Tell me honestly, Karen – am I doing anything wrong? Are you… do you enjoy being with me?'

'Yes,' she whispered, cuddling next to him. 'Why?'

'Well, you just don't… seem to, sometimes.'

'I'm sorry. It's not that I don't enjoy it. I just don't… show it much I guess.'

He didn't seem entirely convinced.

Karen said, 'I've never enjoyed making love this much. Never.'

It wasn't a lie. Making love with George was better than it had ever been with any other man. But then… that wasn't saying much. She felt no great need to make love, and when they did, she did not feel the bursts of ecstasy she'd always read and heard she was supposed to feel; there were no explosions of light in her head, no screaming orgasms

It had nothing to do with George, of course. She wasn't sure what the problem was