‘No muffler,’ Mike mumbled.
‘Well, why do you not attach one, then?’ said Matron. ‘Do you know how sick we all are of hearing that thing tearing through the grounds?’
‘I like it loud,’ said Mad Mike. ‘That way, none of these here delinquents is gonna be able to steal it out from under me, are they?’
He grinned.
Luke wished like hell he hadn’t. Mad Mike had maybe three teeth left and Luke didn’t think those would be hanging around too much longer either. There looked to be even more fungus on them than the last time Luke had been lucky enough to cop a viewing.
Matron actually shuddered.
‘Well, get on with it, Mike,’ she said. ‘You know you’re not supposed to bring that thing out the front here. What if we have a visitor? You make us all look like a pack of hillbillies.’
‘Orright, orright, Mavis. I just gotta pick something up for the laundry,’ said Mad Mike, making his way up the steps.
‘You are
The moment Matron cleared the doorway, Mad Mike dropped into her chair.
‘You been good, Black?’ he said.
‘Always, Mike,’ said Luke. ‘And you?’
‘Aw, I’m never good,’ said Mad Mike, grinning widely. Luke’s breakfast flip-flopped in his stomach with another spew-view of Mike’s teeth. ‘My pa always told me, “You may be well, son, but you’ll never be good!”’
Luke smiled weakly. Mad Mike always told the same joke.
‘And what about Narelle?’ Luke asked. ‘How are things going with you two?’
Mad Mike dropped the smile. ‘Ah, the silly cow kicked me out again last night.’ He leaned back in the chair, angled his face to catch a feeble glimmer of winter sunshine. ‘I don’t know, Lukey, whether Mike and Narelle are meant to be.’
Luke straightened on his knees in the mud.
‘Oh, come on now, Mike,’ he said. ‘That’s no way to talk. Narelle has your ring on her finger. You’re not going to break her heart like that.’
Mike sat forward and his eyes met Luke’s. He scratched at what was left of the hair on his scalp. ‘Aw, I don’t want to break her heart, but why’s she gotta kick me out all the time. It’s bloody cold out, these nights. It’s only when she’s on the turps that she gets the wind up her. Usually she’s a beautiful bird; best in show.’
‘Well, you keep working on it, Mike. Relationships are never easy, and there’s nothing like family,’ said Luke.
‘True, very true, Lukey. Now you get on with what you’re doin’ there. Matron’s another woman who likes to tear strips off me.’ He reclined again in the chair.
Luke turned back to the weeding. She’s definitely gonna do something to him if he gets his crud all over her chair, he thought.
‘Friend of yours?’ said Zac.
‘Mike’s all right. When you’re on his good side. Hey, you know what sounds worse than the swamp rat, Nguyen?’
‘What?’
‘Being chased by the swamp rat when you’re trying to escape.’
‘Have you tried to escape?’ Zac looked sideways up at him, his glossy fringe hanging in his eyes.
‘Nope,’ said Luke. ‘But I was in orientation when I saw this big kid from Dorm One trying to run.’ He shook his head with the memory. ‘Mad Mike here went feral – well, even more feral than he is now. You shoulda seen it. He was hammering the swamp rat through the paddock after this guy, one hand on the wheel, the rest of him leaning out the window holding a lasso and screaming. You could hear him over the car.’
‘You are so full of it,’ said Zac.
‘I swear,’ said Luke.
‘Did he catch him?’
‘Brought him down with the rope on the second shot.’
‘Oh my God. How scary would that have been?’ said Zac. ‘That guy’s a freak.’
‘It was pretty funny,’ said Luke.
Zac gave him another look and pulled out some more of the thin, sprout-like weeds standing like an army of spears in the rose bed. ‘They’re never gonna get rid of these things this way,’ he said.
‘Well, if they keep us down here on our knees long enough they will.’
‘They’re onion weed,’ said Zac. ‘They’ll regrow, faster and thicker. All these and more will be back next week.’
‘Onion weed. So you’re a ninja gardener who’s gifted in metalwork?’
‘I told you I like plants,’ said Zac. ‘But not these. You should use some of this, though.’ He reached forward, negotiating rose thorns, and snapped off a large piece of a cactus-looking plant that bordered the footings of the building. ‘Aloe,’ he said.
‘Um, hello?’ said Luke.
‘Not hello, idiot. Aloe. Just take it.’ He dropped the spongy branch into the mud in front of Luke. ‘See that juice coming out of it?’
Luke picked up the piece of plant.
‘Now, squeeze it and smear it over your eye and lips.’
Luke stared at him.
‘If you get it in your mouth it will taste like crap,’ said Zac. ‘But it’ll heal your face fast.’
Luke sniffed. Yeah, like I’m gonna rub some cactus snot all over my face.
‘Um, thanks,’ he said. ‘I’ll do it tonight.’
Zac dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘And I saw another plant when we were out running this morning that we could really put to good use around here.’
Luke raised an eyebrow.
‘It’s a species of mushroom,’ Zac said. ‘
Okaaaay, thought Luke. What the hell is wrong with this guy?
‘Mushrooms? I, um, I don’t really like mushrooms, thanks, Nguyen,’ he said.
‘Well, you really wouldn’t like the Stainers,’ said Zac, smirking. ‘They cause stomach cramps and severe diarrhoea.’
Luke paused mid-pick and smiled. ‘Well… I could think of a few really good things to do with those. Yep, I definitely think we should collect some. How do you know all this stuff?’
Zac just shrugged.
Luke stood with the other members of Dorm Four, waiting for the rest of the dorms to line up for head count before the march to dinner.
‘I can’t believe they make us march to every meal like this,’ said Zac, quietly.
‘Shut up, Nguyen,’ whispered Kitkat. ‘There’s no talking. Haven’t you got everyone in enough trouble since your skinny arse got here?’
‘Did you guys hear that we’ve got No Rules Basketball after tea tonight?’ murmured Jonas.
Luke groaned. Oh no. No Rules Basketball was Toad’s favourite game. He was pretty sure that had something to do with the fact that Toad kept ‘mistaking’ Luke’s head for the ball. No Rules Basketball was Holt-sanctioned crab bashing.
‘What’s No Rules Basketball?’ whispered Zac.
‘Your worst nightmare,’ said Luke. I’ve got to get out of playing tonight, he thought.
