wrap her arms around his waist and tell him she was sorry, but she held back.
He took another drink, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “The truth of it is, I didn’t love her. I was a lousy husband, and I only married her because she was pregnant. When the baby died, there wasn’t anything holding us together anymore. I wanted out of the marriage. She didn’t.”
An ache tightened her chest. She knew John, and she knew he must have been devastated. She wondered why he was telling her about it now. Why would he trust her with something so painful? “You had a baby?”
“Yeah. He was born premature and died a month later. Toby would be eight now.”
“I’m sorry,” was the only thing she could think to say. She couldn’t even imagine losing Lexie.
He set the glass on the counter beside Georgeanne, then he took her hand in his. “Sometimes I wonder what he’d be like if he’d lived.”
She looked into his face and once again felt that warm little glow about her heart. He cared for her. Maybe trust and caring could turn to something more.
“I wanted to tell you about Linda and Toby for two reasons. I wanted you to know about them, and I want you to know that even though I’ve been married twice, I’m not going to make the same mistakes. I won’t marry again because a child is involved, or because of lust. It will be because I’m crazy in love.”
His words doused Georgeanne’s warm little glow like a bucket of ice water, and she pulled her hand from his. They had a child together, and it was no secret John was attracted to her physically. He’d never promised her anything but a good time, but she’d done it again. She’d let herself hope for things she couldn’t have, and knowing it hurt so much the backs of her eyes stung. “Thank you for sharing, John, but I just can’t appreciate your honesty right now,” she said as she moved toward the front door. “I think you better leave.”
“What?” He sounded incredulous as he followed close behind her. “I thought I was getting somewhere.”
“I know you did. But you can’t come over here whenever you feel like sex and just expect me to tear off my clothes and oblige you.” She failed to control her trembling chin as she pulled the front door open. She wanted him gone before she fell apart completely.
“Is that what you think? That you’re just a lay?”
Georgeanne tried not to flinch. “Yes.”
“What the hell is happening here?” He yanked the door out of her grasp and slammed it shut. “I spill my guts and you jump up and down on my insides! I’m honest with you, and you think I’m trying to get in your pants.”
“Honest? You’re only honest when you want something. You lie to me all the time.”
“When have I lied to you?”
“Your lawyer, for one,” she reminded him.
“That wasn’t really a lie, it was an omission.”
“It was a lie, and you lied to me again today.”
“When?”
“At the church. You told me Virgil had moved on, that he was over what happened seven years ago. But you know he isn’t.”
He leaned back on his heels and frowned at her. “What did he say?”
“That you wouldn’t choose me over your team. What did he mean?” she asked, and waited for him to enlighten her.
“The truth?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, he threatened to trade me to another hockey team if I get involved with you, but it doesn’t matter. Forget about Virgil. He’s just mad because I got a piece of what he wanted.”
Georgeanne leaned against the wall. “Me?”
“You.”
“That’s all I am to you?” She looked at him.
He blew out his breath and ran his fingers though the sides of his hair. “If you think I only came over here to get my rocks off, you’re wrong.”
She let her gaze travel to the bulge in his wool trousers, then back up to his face. “Am I?”
Anger stained his cheeks and he clenched his jaw. “Don’t take what I feel for you and turn it into something dirty. I want you, Georgeanne. All you have to do is walk in a room, and I want you. I want to kiss you, and touch you, and make love to you. My physical response is natural, and I won’t apologize for it.”
“And in the morning you’ll be gone, and I’ll be alone again.”
“That’s horseshit.”
“It’s happened twice.”
“Last time, you ran out on me.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter who ran out which time. It will end the same. You won’t mean to hurt me, but you will.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I want to make you feel good, and if you were honest with me, like you wish me to be with you, you’d admit that you want me, too.”
“No.”
His eyes narrowed. “I hate that word.”
“Sorry, but there’s too much between us to have it any other way.”
“Are you still trying to punish me for what happened seven years ago, or is it just an excuse?” He planted his hands on the wall next to her head. “What are you afraid of?”
“Not you.”
He cupped her chin in his palm. “Liar. You’re afraid Daddy isn’t going to love you.”
Her breath caught in her lungs. “That was cruel.”
“Maybe, but it’s the truth.” His thumb slipped across her closed lips. He wrapped his free hand around her wrist. “You’re afraid to reach out and take what you want, but I’m not. I know what I want.” He slid her palm across his hard chest and down the buttons of his shirt. “Are you still trying to be a good girl so Daddy will notice you? Well, guess what, baby doll,” he whispered as he moved her hand to the front of his pants and pressed his thick erection into her palm. “I noticed.”
“Stop it,” she said, and lost control of her tears. She hated him. She loved him. She wanted him to stay as badly as she wanted him to go. He’d been crude and cruel, but he’d been right. She was terrified he’d touch her, and afraid he wouldn’t. She was afraid to take what she wanted, scared he’d make her miserable and unhappy. She was already miserable and unhappy. There was no way she could win. He was like a drug, an addiction, and she was hooked. “Don’t do this to me.”
John wiped a tear from her cheek and let go of her hand. “I want you, and I’m not afraid to play dirty.”
She had to cut herself off from John, quit cold turkey. Check herself into rehab. No more hot kisses or touches or hungry glances. She had to get tough. “You just want a piece of… of…”
John shook his head and smiled. “I don’t want just a piece. I want it all.”
Chapter Nineteen
John looked into Georgeanne’s eyes and chuckled silently. She was trying to be tough but couldn’t even bring herself to say the word “ass.” It was just one of the thing that fascinated him about her. “I want your heart, your mind, and your body.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. “I want all of you-forever,” he whispered, and wrapped his arm around her waist. Her palms flattened against his chest as if she meant to push him away, but then she opened her soft mouth, and he felt a triumph so sweet it nearly sent him to his knees. He craved her body and soul, and he lifted her onto her toes and fed his hunger. Within seconds the kiss became a carnal feeding frenzy of mouths and tongues and hot, hot pleasure. John unzipped the back of her dress, then reached for the shoulders. He pulled down the dress, and the thin straps of her slip and bra, stripping her to her waist. Her arms were pinned to her sides, and he drew back to view her plump, naked breasts spilled toward him like his personal vision of heaven. He wrapped one arm around her waist and he lowered his face and placed a soft kiss on the very tip of her left breast. His tongue licked the puckered flesh and she moaned. She arched toward him, and he sucked her nipple into his mouth. Georgeanne struggled to free her arms, but he held her tight.
