“Alice. This is crazy. I’m begging you, don’t go meet him,” says Nedra.
“You don’t understand.”
“Oh, really? Okay. Let’s see-your needs weren’t being met. Could you be any less original, Alice?”
“Researcher 101 sees me for who I really am,” I say. A woman in her underwear with dye dripping down her temples. “And he’s a mystery. And I feel like if I don’t do this now, there’ll never be another chance.” I throw the washcloth in the sink and check the time. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Nedra pauses. “That’s what they all say. Researcher 101 is an invention, you know that, don’t you? You’ve invented him. You think you know him, but you don’t. It’s a one-way relationship. You’ve revealed everything to him, all your secrets, your confessions, your hopes and your dreams, and he hasn’t told you anything about himself,” says Nedra.
“That’s not true,” I say, combing my hair. “He’s told me things.”
“What, that he likes pina coladas? What kind of a man likes pina coladas?”
“He told me he can’t stop thinking about me,” I say softly.
“Oh, Alice. And you believed him? William is real.
“Jesus, Nedra, I’m just meeting him for coffee.” I peer in the mirror. Is my part
“If you agree to meet him for coffee, you are crossing a threshold, and you know it.”
I open the cupboard under the sink and rummage around for the hair dryer. “I thought you’d support me. Out of all the people in the world, I thought you’d at least try and understand what I’m going through. I didn’t go looking for this. It came looking for me. Literally. The invitation showed up in my Spam folder. It just happened.”
“Bloody hell, Alice, it didn’t just happen. You were complicit in making it happen.”
I find the hair dryer, but the cord is hopelessly tangled. Can’t anything be easy? Suddenly I feel so tired. “I’m lonely. I’ve been lonely for a long time. Isn’t that worth something? Don’t I deserve to be happy?” I whisper.
“Of course you do. But that’s no reason to abandon your life.”
“I’m not abandoning it. I’m just meeting him for coffee.”
“Yes, but what do you want out of this?
Why indeed, when I look like this? There are circles the color of, yes, thistles, under my eyes. With concealer, maybe I could lighten them to lavender. “I don’t know, exactly,” I admit.
I can hear Nedra breathing. “I have no idea who you are anymore,” she says.
“How can you say that? I’m the same person I’ve always been. Maybe
“Well, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Meaning what?” I ask.
“Like mother, like daughter.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Nedra.”
“If you had returned any of my last four phone calls you would.”
“I told you I was in the mountains. There was no cell reception.”
“Well, you may be interested to know Jude and I had a little heart-to-heart about Zoe.”
“Good. Did you tell him to move on? She’s not going to take him back.”
“She’d be lucky to get him back. He finally told me what really happened. I knew something didn’t feel right. It was Zoe who cheated on Jude.”
“No, Jude cheated on Zoe,” I say slowly.
“No, Jude
Could this be true?
“Jude’s lying. Zoe would have told me,” I say, but I know in my heart it
“Your daughter has issues; lying is the least of them.”
“I know about my daughter’s issues. Don’t you dare throw information I’ve shared with you in confidence in my face.”
“Alice, you’ve been so busy carrying on with Researcher 101 that you have no idea what’s happening with your own daughter. She doesn’t have an eating disorder; she’s got a Twitter account. With over five hundred followers. Would you like to know her user name? It’s Ho-Girl.”
“
“Short for Hostess Girl. She reviews bakery products, but her reviews can be interpreted in a few different ways, if you know what I mean. The point is your daughter is in trouble, but you haven’t noticed as you’ve been so busy living your double life. She’s obviously working something out.”
“Yes, whether she prefers Twinkies or fruit pies. Why do you always have to exaggerate? And why are you treating me this way? I’m your best friend, not your client. I expected to you to be on my side, not William’s.”
“I
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Fine. Don’t expect me to be waiting here when you come back. I can’t be your confidante. Not on this front. I won’t lie for you. For the record, I think you’re making a huge mistake.”
“Yes, you’ve made that very clear. I assume you’ll be finding a new maid of honor? One who isn’t such a whore?”
Nedra inhales sharply.
I fantasize about throwing the phone against the wall in lieu of hanging up, but I can’t afford to buy a new one, and I am
78
From
Exercise: Now write that same breakup scene in two sentences.
“Don’t do it,” says the best friend.
“I have to,” says the protagonist.
79
July 28th is a perfect summer day. No humidity and a temp of 75. I spend an hour upstairs in my bedroom agonizing over what to wear to meet Researcher 101. A skirt and sandals? Too schoolgirlish. A sundress? Trying too hard. In the end I settle on jeans and a peasant shirt, but I put on some of the new makeup Nedra bought for me: mascara and a quick swipe of blush. This is the real me and it will have to do. If he doesn’t like it, tough. The conversation I had with Nedra has completely shaken me up. I almost want to disappoint 101. To turn him off, so I don’t have to make any decision and he can make it for me.
