should have used the level.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Sloppy,” he says. “Thought I could eyeball it.”
“It’s not that bad. Nobody’s going to see it.”
“That’s beside the point, Alice. Not a word, you,” says William to Jampo, who is sitting beside the ladder obediently. Jampo gives a mournful
“So you’re hanging out with Jampo?
“He followed me out here,” he says, climbing down the ladder.
Jampo sniffs his boots excitedly. William watches him with a half-smile. “He thinks I’m going to take him on a run.”
“You’ve been running with him?”
“Once in a while. Hey, do you know what ‘sexiled’ means?”
“ ‘Sexiled’? No. Why?”
“I overheard Zoe discussing it with one of her friends. They were talking about college. It’s a term for being kicked out of your room when your roommate wants to have sex.”
“Must they coin a word for everything? What happened to hanging a sock on the door?” I ask.
“It’s a different generation.”
“She’s going to be gone soon. A blink and she’ll be gone. Another blink and there goes Peter. Blink, blink. Our progeny-poof. Do you think she’s having sex?”
“Do I think she
“Alice, I know about Ho-Girl. Nedra told me.”
“Oh, God.
“Uh-huh.”
“Did Nedra tell you she cheated on Jude, too, not the other way around?”
“Yes, she did. And you haven’t checked out her Twitter account?”
“I was kind of hoping it would just go away.”
William pulls out his phone. “Let’s get it over with. It can’t be that bad.” He goes to his Google browser and types in
“There she is,” I whisper, leaning into him.
Ho-Girl
Name Ho-Girl
Location California
Bio Creamy, filling, sugary, moist
Followers 552
“Jesus! Nedra was right.”
“When is Nedra ever wrong? We’re signing up to get short, timely messages from Ho-Girl right now,” William barks.
“What-no! You can’t do that. She’ll know it’s us.”
“Give me some credit. I’m not going to sign up as @ma &pabuckle.”
“You’re going to use a fake handle?”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“Well-yes. Don’t you? Shouldn’t we?” I try to keep a straight face.
“Not when it comes to our daughter. Let’s keep it in the Hostess family so she won’t suspect. How about @snoball?” he asks.
“Ug-that pink marshmallow skin makes me sick. How about @dingdong?” I suggest.
“I hate Ding Dongs. How about @hohos?”
“Too close to Ho-Girl. How about @nuttyhohos? Remember those? When they added peanuts?” I say.
“Fine. Done.”
We turn to each other and begin laughing.
“Quiet, you Nutty Ho Ho,” whispers William.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“She just tweeted again,” he says.
I peer at his screen and we read the Tweet out loud together.
“What the hell, Zoe!” I gasp. “Does she have any idea how dangerous this is?”
William’s fingers fly over the touch screen.
“You weren’t supposed to type that! Now those sickos are going to know her real name,” I yell at William. “And so much for our fake handle.”
“She thinks we’re Jude,” says William.
William growls.
I grab the phone out of William’s hand.
@Fox123
William grabs the phone back.
“Now you’ve given them her last name!” I shout.
