'Oh.'
She removed her hand and pulled her wallet out of her purse; it was thick with green bills. She gave him two brand new $100 bills sharp enough to slice a brisket. He stuffed the bills into his jeans. He was now two hundred dollars closer to a replacement trail bike.
But her legs were incredible.
Britney Banks had stumbled onto the secret behind a successful traffic ticket defense in much the same way Andy Prescott had: by necessity. Back during his first year of law school, he had gotten a speeding ticket driving Tres' Beemer. Much like Britney's father, Tres also would have gone apeshit if he had found out, and Andy had had no money to pay the fine. So he had studied the Rules of the Municipal Court of the City of Austin. Then he had requested a trial and was informed that there would be a minimum one-year delay due to the heavy backlog of cases; a trial by jury would be a two-year delay. He immediately requested a jury trial. When his case finally came to trial in his third year of law school, Andy went to court prepared to lose; but the cop didn't show. Without the cop's testimony to prove up the ticket, the prosecution failed. His ticket was dismissed.
And his career was born.
Now, for $100 cash, Andy guaranteed his clients a dismissal of their tickets; if he failed, he would pay the fines. In every case, he requested a trial by jury; he asked for continuances; he delayed the trial date for as long as possible. Two years later, when the trial date arrived, the cop always failed to show, for any number of reasons: he had died, retired, or quit the force; he was ill that day; he was working overtime on real crime; or he had just forgotten. No cop, no testimony, no conviction, no fine, no ticket on his client's record, no increased insurance premium. Case dismissed. Andy had handled over six hundred traffic tickets. Not once had the cop shown up. Not once had he paid a client's fine. All for $100. It wasn't much money, but it was easy money.
'City of Austin versus Doris Sullivan.'
Andy's first case. He leaned toward Britney.
'Wait here till your case is called.'
He stood and walked up to the bench. He winked at the municipal prosecutor, Denise L. (for luscious) Manning; she was two years out of UT law school, pretty, and held the promise of passionate love-making. She ignored Andy. The judge did not.
'Mr. Prescott, you're late again.'
'I must say, Your Honor, you're looking quite lovely this morning.'
'Save the flattery, Mr. Prescott. It doesn't work with me.'
But her lips formed a slight smile, as if she just couldn't help herself. Judge Judith was mid-fifties, black, and tough as nails. But she had a soft spot for the losers of the world who appeared before her daily, including Andy. She put her hand over the microphone in front of her.
'Trail biking again, Andy?'
'Yes, ma'am.'
'Are you okay?'
'Concussion and possible brain damage, but nothing serious.'
A bigger smile.
'Anytime you're ready, Judge, I'll show you the trails.'
'Not in this life, Andy.' Back to the microphone. 'Mr. Prescott, is your client present?'
Andy looked out on the sea of faces as if his client would stand and come forward. Of course, she wouldn't. She wasn't there. None of his clients were there. He never asked his clients to attend their trials or even told them the trial date. It was a waste of time. If the cop didn't show, the city could not make its case and the ticket would be dismissed; the defendant's testimony would not be required. If the cop did show, Andy would have to make good on his guarantee.
'Judge, perhaps Ms. Manning should go forward with her prosecution.'
The judge turned to the city prosecutor.
'Ms. Manning?'
Ms. Manning shrugged her narrow little shoulders.
'My witness isn't here.'
'Case dismissed.'
They followed the same script for Andy's first four cases. His fifth case was called-'City of Austin versus Donna Faulkner'-and someone changed the script without notifying him.
'Your Honor,' the prosecutor said, 'the issuing officer is present.'
Andy faced Ms. Manning. ' The cop showed? '
She was grinning. 'Can you believe it?'
No, he couldn't believe it. Andy turned to the spectator section. A bald paunchy guy in a blue Austin PD uniform stood and walked up to them.
Andy said, 'You showed up?'
The cop gave Andy a warm police officer smile.
'I always show up. I just sit here and read all day.' He held up a book: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. 'Easy money.'
Easy money. Andy wanted to say, 'I'll show you easy money,' and whack the cop upside the head with the book, but given it was a Harry Potter, the sheer weight of the thing would probably kill him.
The judge administered the oath to Officer Bobby Joe Jack, then Ms. Manning elicited his testimony that he had issued a ticket to Donna Faulkner two years before for driving sixty through a residential zone with a maximum allowed speed of thirty miles per hour and for running a stop sign. The applicable fine was $501.
Andy was sweating bullets now and not just because he had never before cross-examined a witness. He was sweating because his net cash assets totaled $27, two hundred dollars more if he won Britney's case. He did not have $501. He could not fulfill his guarantee to Donna Faulkner. He could not lose her case.
'Your witness, Mr. Prescott.'
Judge Judith gave Andy a sympathetic expression. She was feeling his pain. But Andy Prescott wasn't going to pay out money he didn't have without a fight.
'Officer Bobby Joe Jack… you do realize you have three first names?'
'What?'
'Do you remember issuing this ticket?'
'I sure do.'
'How many tickets have you issued in the last two years?'
'Hundreds.'
'Two years and hundreds of tickets later, but you specifically recall issuing this ticket to Ms. Faulkner?'
'Yes, I do.'
'And why is that?'
'Because of certain unique identifying characteristics.'
'Which were?'
'Her headlights.'
'Her headlights? Why would you remember her headlights?'
'Because they were really special.'
'Special headlights? Were they Bi-Xenon?'
'What?'
'Officer Jack, I don't understand your testimony. You were driving behind Ms. Faulkner when you pulled her over, correct?'
'Yes.'
'Then you got out of your cruiser and walked to the driver's side window, correct?'
'Yes.'
'So when did you see her headlights?'
'When she rolled her window down.'
'But how could you see her headlights from that vantage point?'
'I was looking right down at them.'
'You were looking right down at them…?'
