This one time I heard a radio psychologist remark how smells are the strongest triggers for memory, more than the other senses. And I guess that’s maybe so. The smell of charcoal reminds me of my father every time, how we’d camp out in the National Park and do hamburgers or whatever. I could be smack in the middle of New York City and smell charcoal and think of a campfire in the woods with my old man. Cough drops made me think of Mother.
But for Doris it was sounds more than smells, I think. I heard Amanda in the back room splashing in the sink, and the sound sent me right back to the trailer. I’d be sleeping in the bedroom, and I could hear Doris through the thin walls making coffee or doing dishes.
I wondered if she was driving straight through to Houston, or if she’d stop someplace, a little roach-ridden motel on the side of the highway. I didn’t like the thought of her ragging herself out, driving all night, nodding off at the wheel. I hoped she’d call when she got to her sister’s. I did
Man, I hated the thought of going to Houston every time I wanted to see my son.
Amanda returned and took the chair opposite me. “It’s brewing.”
“Now what?”
“Now we wait.”
“You ever been married?” I asked her.
“No.”
“Lucky you.”
“I came close once,” she said. “We lived together first, and it didn’t work out.”
“What happened?”
She bit her thumb, shrugged. “We met during this triathlon in Tulsa. You know, run and swim and cycle. We had a lot in common. Sports and outdoor activity. Then when we moved in together things just got all domestic. We hardly did any of that stuff anymore. Just went to work, came home, sat around the apartment waiting to go to work again the next day. I don’t know why, but we both knew it wasn’t going to work.”
“Sounds like you parted amicably.”
“Yeah.” The silence stretched.
I said, “I’m going to need you on my side, need you to speak up for me, I mean.”
“It’ll all get sorted out,” she said.
“I killed a fellow deputy.” Billy’s dead face flashed through my mind. “And we’ve got another one locked up. I can’t lose my son, Amanda. I’m all he’s got.”
“They’ll investigate it. You tell the truth, and you get what you get,” she said. “That’s all you can do.”
“That don’t make me feel too much better.”
“I didn’t say it to make you feel better. I said it because that’s how it is. But if you told it to me right, you did everything in either self-defense or the line of duty. At least in the big picture. Some of the details might work against you.”
I thought about putting Roy’s rig through the Mona Lisa Motel. No, that wasn’t quite by the book. Some real professional cop with experience probably would’ve had it all handled by now, wrapped up neat and pretty. But I was the dumbass, part-time deputy, fumbling his way from frying pan to fire.
Sizzle.
“Anything like this ever happen to you before?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “My career hasn’t been so colorful. But I knew a guy who shot a thirteen-year-old kid once. It was dark, and the kid had a toy gun. He was finally cleared, but I don’t think the guy was ever the same. Last I heard he’d gone in with a private security firm.”
And least I hadn’t killed anyone who hadn’t been asking for it. Amanda shrugged. “Anyway, those State boys will be here soon and then we can—”
The cinder block shattered the window, flew through glass and the blinds and landed five feet from us. We both dove to the floor, and I saw Amanda pop back up a second later with her gun drawn. I drew mine too just to feel involved, but I stayed under the desk.
A rough voice from the street yelled, “Get your ass out here, Sawyer, and take your medicine.”
The voice sounded like Jason Jordan’s, but it could have been one of his brothers. They all had the same rough redneck bark.
“Who is that?” she asked.
“The Jordan Brothers.”
“All of them?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe.”
“They want you.”
“I’m popular tonight.”
“You seem pretty glib about it.”
“I’m pretty tired. Being afraid has sort of worn off.”
She went up to the window, but stood off to the side in case another cinder block or worse came through. She still had the gun drawn, and I wondered if she was going to lean out and start shooting like in some old western. “Who’s that out there?” she shouted. Silence. Maybe they thought I was in here alone. Amanda tried again. “There’s a world of hurt heading
this way, boys. State Police. If I were you, I’d get home and clear the streets.” I grinned at her. “Why don’t you go out there and arrest them?” “Go to hell, Sawyer.” I laughed. “You here me out there?” she shouted again. “Clear
off.” “We don’t have no quarrel with you, Miss Amanda,” one of the Jordans yelled back. “Just send Sawyer out.” “You heard him, kid. Get out there.” It was her turn to grin at me. “They’re trying to divide us up.” “I know,” Amanda said. “They can’t afford any live witnesses, and they must know the phones are out.” “They’re probably the ones that done it,” I said. “Yeah.” “Send him out,” came the shout again. “For what he did to Luke.” “I didn’t kill your dipshit brother!” I yelled. Why the fuck did everyone think that? “Shut up, idiot,” Amanda said. “Well, I didn’t do it.”
“But now they know for sure you’re in here.”
Oops.
Amanda shouted, “God damn it, boys, this is a police station and I’m an officer of the law. You’ve jumped in a lake of shit and you just keep getting deeper and deeper. You get what I’m saying?”
Another pause.
Finally: “This ain’t over, Sawyer. Miss Amanda, you get in the way and whatever happens, happens.”
I heard an engine rev high, then the squeal of tires, and the engine roar faded down the road.
“Shit.” Amanda holstered her pistol and went to the gun cabinet, unlocked it, took out a pump twelve gauge and a box of double-ought. She started thumbing shells into the shotgun. “This time when I say stay and hold the fort I mean it, okay?”
“You can’t be going out there.”
She kept loading the shotgun.
“The State Police are coming. Just hang in here, and we’ll be okay.”
“If it were me,” Amanda said. “I’d pile a few loads of lumber against the front door and the back too. Couple gallons of gas. That would smoke us out pretty quick. You want to wait for that?”
I didn’t think the Jordans were that clever, but then I remembered the chief’s house was probably a pile of ashes by now. Maybe Amanda had a point. Passively sitting and waiting on the defensive had a few drawbacks. And yet I couldn’t quite bring myself to believe it was a good idea running out there looking for trouble.
“And anyway, I’m still the law,” she said. “I can’t let a bunch of rowdies rip up the town. At the very least I have to go keep an eye on them.”
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“I didn’t ask your opinion.” She went to the gun locker, came back with another twelve gauge and set it on the desk in front of me. “Hold the fort.”
She opened the front door, paused before stepping out, looking up and down Main Street. She gave me one last look, walked out and closed the door behind her. I went and locked it. A second later I heard her squad car
