For His Little Girl

'What about that book?' she demanded, feeling herself drowning in sensation. 'Foreplay, and all that.'

'I've gone on to the next chapter,' he said cheekily.

'Well I-haven't.' Putting out all her strength she tossed him onto his back. He was surprised enough to let her win, and lay watching her out of glinting eyes that held a warning. He would enjoy her teasing, but he was far from tame. His proud, upstanding member proclaimed that.

She lightly touched the part of him she wanted most, thinking blissfully ahead but heightening the pleasure by deferring it. By now she knew how steely was Luke's control. He was ready, but he could stay ready for a long time. It was a kind of mutual teasing that they had perfected, and it thrilled her to know that she could excite him that much. Her fingers moved again, caressing and enjoying, loving the feel of him in her hand.

'You're playing with fire,' he murmured.

'I know. That's how I like it best.'

'Now, Pippa.'

'Not…quite…now. Hey!' For he had returned the compliment, tossing her onto her back and coming over her swiftly.

'I said now,' he told her firmly against her mouth. 'Unless you want to dispute the point.'

'Mmm. What point was that?'

Thought was becoming impossible as she felt him part her thighs. Then he was there between them, finding her, sliding into her. She was almost sobbing with pleasure, wrapping her legs and arms about him with fierce intent. Of all the delights in the world there was only this that really mattered, having your man inside you, feeling the heat of him, smelling his warm, spicy skin, giving yourself to him a thousandfold and taking from him all he had to give. When her moment of release came, she made a sound like a cry of triumph.

As they lay blissfully together afterward, Pippa suddenly exploded with uncontrollable laughter.

'What? What?' he asked, already beginning to laugh with her.

'What we just did-' she choked.

'You've never found it funny before.'

'No, not us-Frank and Elly-'

He buried his face against her, and making muffled sounds while his shoulders shook. 'Don't,' he begged at last. 'I can't laugh any more. It hurts. Anyway, perhaps they won't bother.'

'Oh, they will. They want lots of children, and Frank believes that everything should be done properly. I suppose we shouldn't laugh. It isn't kind.'

'We're not doing them any harm,' he gasped. 'And he's such a-oh, Lord, perhaps I should have loaned him my book.'

'Then he could make a list-and-and tick it-as he-'

And they were off again, clinging to each other in an agony of mirth. The world was theirs, and from their lofty perch of bliss they could afford a little pity for middle-aged people who thought they knew what life was about.

Chapter Four

At the start, four months had seemed to stretch out endlessly ahead, time enough for Luke to see that they belonged together forever. But then four months became three, two, then one, and suddenly it was only a couple of weeks before his work permit expired.

He sat up in bed beside her one night, breathless from the fray, and said, 'Oh, baby, I'm going to miss you when I'm gone.'

It took just that long for her world to fracture and collapse. He wasn't planning to take her back to the States with him. He'd just told her so. Tactfully, kindly, but unmistakably.

The sound of her own voice amazed her. It didn't sound like someone who was fighting not to scream 'Not long now, is it?'

'Two weeks.'

Not as much as that, she thought. One week and five days. She knew it by heart.

He rolled over and looked down at her. 'We've had some great times, haven't we?'

'Wonderful, but-' she took her courage in her hands '-do they really need to end?'

The light was poor, but just enough for her to see the sudden tension in his face. She hastened to add, 'I mean-you could get an extension.'

'Oh, that. No, my time is up and your Immigration Department won't extend it. I did ask. No dice.'

So he wanted to stay with her, she thought, clutching at straws. There was still time for him to ask her to go with him. But the time slipped by without a word, and suddenly it was the last day, and his plane was leaving at noon.

She went with him to the airport, and they sat sipping coffee while they waited for his call. There was a pain in the middle of her chest, like a heavy stone, and she didn't know how it was possible to endure that pain and keep smiling, but somehow it was. He was going, and he was happy about it. She didn't have to ask to know that his heart wasn't breaking. His thoughts had already leaped ahead to California.

She went with him to the gate, and at the last minute he threw his arms about her in a bear hug. 'I'll never forget you, Pippa.'

'Yes, you will,' she said merrily. 'There'll be some beauty in the next seat. You'll take one look at her and I'll vanish.'

Deny it! Please deny it!

'Wretch!' he said, tweaking her nose. 'That's what you think of me, is it?'

'This is the last call for-'

'That's it! Gotta go! Bye, baby. Be happy.'

One last peck on her cheek and he was gone. Pippa watched him walking jauntily away, and although he turned for a final wave, she knew that she had already passed out of his life.

She forced herself to leave at once. She would not, would not become one of those pathetic creatures who stared at a space long after it was empty, as though expecting the person to reappear. Luke wouldn't turn back. She knew that. And she had too much pride to hang on hopelessly.

Sitting on the subway train on the journey home, she actually cheered up. She had always known this would happen, Luke had never made any secret of his departure date or the fact that there was no room for permanence in his life. They were both modern, liberated people who'd enjoyed a fling and would now get on with their lives.

She was pleasantly surprised to find herself coping so well. She smiled as she entered the guest house, stopped for a chat with Ma and went jauntily on to her room. Once, their room, now hers alone.

Alone.

The word was like the tolling of a bell, and it caught her off guard, just when she thought she was managing nicely. The smiles, the jauntiness and the bravery fell away as swiftly as discarded clothes, leaving her cold and trembling with shock. It was as much as she could do to lock the door before sliding to the floor in an agony of weeping.

He was gone, and she would never see him again

Grief washed over her in endless waves, each one bigger than the first, until she buried her face in her hands to muffle her sobs. He was gone. He was gone.

For a week afterward she walked about like a zombie. She had no appetite and nearly made herself ill by working extra hours at her job, trying to wear herself out, without eating. So the first hint of pregnancy passed by without alerting her. By the time she was forced to recognize the truth she was nearly two months pregnant, and so tired and undernourished that she was actually losing weight. One evening she quietly fainted in Ma's kitchen. Sarah, one of the medical students, caught her as she fell. After that there was no longer any doubt.

She had the phone number of Luke's parents. Three times she started to telephone, and three times she aborted the call while it was still ringing. There was no way her pride would risk being answered by someone else, lamely explaining that she had known Luke in England, and was he there, please? She could see, as vividly as if they were in front of her, the significant glances his family would exchange.