For The Sake Of His Child

‘How can he possibly know?’

‘Do you really think he hasn’t sensed it? He knows a lot more about you than you do about him. What a pity you haven’t taken more interest in him.’

‘How dare you say I take no interest in him? He’s had the very best of everything-’

Gina lost patience. ‘I’m sure he’s had the best that money could buy,’ she said sharply. ‘It’s a pity you can’t buy parents, so that he could have had the best of them, too.’

As soon as the words were out she was shocked at herself for losing control of her tongue. And bewildered. It wasn’t like her to fly off the handle so easily, but when she was defending Joey her anger flared up quickly.

Carson was looking at her, not angrily, but with a wry expression.

‘I’m sorry,’ she told him. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’

‘No, don’t spoil it. I appreciate plain speaking, and I guess that hair of yours comes at a price.’

‘Nonsense!’ she said, colouring. ‘It’s just hair. It doesn’t mean anything.’

‘Well, I never met any blondes or brunettes who put me in my place like you do. And it’s not “just hair”. It’s a glowing beacon, and it’s beautiful. As I say, there’s a price, but I don’t mind paying it.’

‘Can we drop this subject?’ she asked frostily.

‘If it bothers you to be told that you’re beautiful.’

‘This isn’t about me.’

‘What about your boyfriend with the spark plugs? Does he tell you that you’re beautiful?’

‘No, he says-’ She checked, wondering at herself. It was fatal to answer him.

‘Says what?’ Carson persisted.

‘That I’m reliable,’ she admitted unwillingly.

‘Oh, boy! He’s really sweeping you off your feet, isn’t he?’

Her lips twitched. ‘I am reliable.’

‘I’m sure you are, but as a loverlike tribute it lacks something, don’t you agree?’

‘Well, Dan is very much taken up with his business. In fact, he’s rather like you.’

‘He’s not at all like me,’ Carson muttered. ‘Are you in love with him?’

‘I-I’m not sure. I’ve known Dan for years. His mother taught me signing when I was a little girl. He was in and out of the house, and we became friends. He didn’t mind my being deaf. He was used to people like that.’

‘But what about now?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘You make him sound as though he was just a habit.’

‘Well, some habits can be very nice,’ she said defensively.

‘Sure they can. But don’t you want more?’

More, she thought. More than dear, dull, kindly, blinkered Dan?

She saw Carson watching her, and suddenly she felt self-conscious. There was something in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, something dark and uncontrollable. It ignored the restraints she’d built so carefully into her life. It was reckless and magical. It made her blood sing and her heart beat powerfully.

More.

‘I’ve never asked too much out of life,’ she said after a while. ‘Then you’re not disappointed.’

‘To hell with that! It’s a philosophy for cowards. Take risks. Be disappointed. Then pick yourself up and go on to the next thing.’

‘That’s your philosophy. But not everyone can live like you.’

‘Of course they can. There are no restraints except those you put on yourself.’ He checked himself suddenly. ‘Hell! I’m talking ignorant nonsense, aren’t I?’

‘A bit,’ Gina said, smiling.

‘For Joey, there are restraints he didn’t put there himself. And for you. Why do you let me go on spouting rubbish?’

‘Could I stop you?’ she asked lightly.

He gave a rueful grin. ‘Probably not. Let’s call it a day before I say anything worse.’

CHAPTER FIVE

IT DIDN’T take Gina long to find that nature had intended Joey to be a little devil. If his deafness hadn’t damaged his confidence he would have been a real handful. He was still sometimes possessed by an imp of mischief, but had enough charm to win forgiveness.

He reacted to the news that they were going to visit Mrs Saunders by sticking his lower lip out and sitting down, giving Gina a defiant look.

‘We’re going to the hospital,’ she said firmly. ‘Now!’

He eyed her, sizing up the strength of the opposition.

‘Why don’t you like her?’ Gina asked.

Because she doesn’t like me.

Gina knew better than to say, Nonsense, I’m sure she does. Instead, she put a friendly hand on his shoulder. ‘Come on. Let’s do our duty and get it over with.’

He made a face. Gina immediately made the same face back, and they laughed together.

They found Mrs Saunders sitting up in a chair. She was middle-aged and looked bruised and belligerent. She eyed Joey with wary hostility. He eyed her back in the same spirit.

‘I don’t want any of his tantrums in here,’ were her first words.

‘He doesn’t have tantrums-’ Gina began.

‘That’s what you think. Screaming and yelling-’

‘Only because he can’t make himself understood. It gets too much for him. When you come back-’

‘I’m not coming back. I’ve got a new job waiting for me when I come out of here.’

‘What?’

‘I took the day off last week to go to an interview. The next day they called and asked me back for another interview. I was coming home from that when I had the accident.’

‘So that’s why you went out and left him alone,’ Gina said angrily.

‘Well, I could hardly take him with me, could I? Anyway, I’ve got another job and that’s that.’ She set her chin.

There was nothing to do but leave. From Joey’s cheerful expression, Gina guessed he’d picked up the gist of the conversation.

For the rest of the day Gina was thoughtful. A plan was taking shape in her mind. At last she nodded to herself, confident that she had a way to make this work. When Carson called to say he would be late that evening she told him not to worry. She had everything in hand. He hung up with an easy mind.

So his shock was all the greater when he arrived home at ten o’clock that evening and found Gina’s bags packed and standing in the living room.

‘I was just going to take them out to my peanut,’ she explained.

‘You’re not leaving?’ he asked in alarm.

‘Right now.’

‘You can’t do that.’

‘I can. I don’t care what arrangement you’ve made with my employers. If they fire me, they fire me. I’ve made up my mind.’

‘Gina, just until Mrs Saunders comes back-’

‘She isn’t coming back. She’s got another job-’

Carson swore under his breath. ‘All right. I’ll find someone else. But until then-’

‘Joey doesn’t need someone else. He needs his father. You’re his father. Not me. Not Mrs Saunders. Not someone you hire from an agency, but you.’

‘I’ve got a business to run-’

‘The business is just an excuse because you can’t face being alone with him.’