could flatten his enemies with a stroke. And all the time the really strong one was my little boy, fighting his battles without any help from me. I can’t even tell him that I love him. He doesn’t care whether I do or not-’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Isn’t it? You saw how he drew back from me, that time I tried to say sorry.’
‘He’s in new territory, just as you are. You two still need to get to know each other. Don’t hurry it. Take it at his pace.’
‘You must be the wisest woman on earth. How did I manage before you came into my life? Well, I didn’t manage, did I?’
‘You managed to build up a commercial empire.’
‘As though that mattered twopence!
Suddenly he dropped his head into his hands again. Gina slipped her arms around him and rested her head against him.
‘I’m here,’ she said softly.
She felt his hand seek hers, and they sat without moving. Gina was twisted into a slightly uncomfortable position, but she wouldn’t shift in case Carson released her and moved away. She didn’t want that. She wanted to go on sitting here, feeling his warmth and heaviness against her, knowing that she was necessary to him, and enjoying that knowledge so much that it scared her.
After a while his breathing changed and she realised that he had drifted into a doze. She wondered about the night he’d passed in that empty house with only his fear and sorrow for company. She’d had to stay with Joey, of course, but the child wasn’t the only one who needed her. And Carson’s agonies had been plainly written on his face when he’d come in. Now he was simply worn out by dread and sleeplessness.
She must have dozed off herself because she was startled by the sound of the door to Joey’s room being opened and pulled wide to let the hospital bed be wheeled through. She gave Carson a gentle shake.
‘They’re coming back,’ she said. ‘It’s over.’
They stood together in the door of her room while the nurses got to work settling Joey. Through the bustle they could get only a slight glimpse of the tiny figure on the bed, his head swathed in bandages. Carson tried to take a step forward but Gina restrained him.
‘Let them do their job,’ she said.
A young woman in a white coat approached them. ‘I’m Dr Henderson,’ she said. ‘Everything went very well. He’ll be coming round in an hour.’
Carson closed his eyes. ‘Thank God!’
At last everyone left except for one nurse, who stood back to let them approach the bed, one on each side. Joey lay very still, breathing evenly. He looked small and frail, but Gina noticed that his colour was good. She kissed him briefly, then moved away, leaving Carson alone with his son.
He leaned down towards the child and stroked his face. She saw his lips move, and turned away, aching for him, for she thought she knew what he had said.
In three days Joey was home, trying to be patient for the weeks that must pass before he could hope to hear his first sounds. The bandages were off, leaving his head looking the same except for a shaved patch beneath his left ear, and a dressing.
On the surface life went on as before. After the intimacy they’d shared in the hospital it seemed to Gina that something must have changed between herself and Carson. But, having briefly emerged from his shell, he’d retreated back into it. Perhaps he felt he’d given away too much of his inner self, and now wanted to turn away from her, and deny it. Whatever the reason, it made her sad. But there was nothing she could do.
She saw little of him, given that they were sharing a house. He came home early, and the three of them ate together, before she put Joey to bed. He would look in to say goodnight to his son, and it delighted her to see that they were more relaxed with her now.
After that Carson worked in his study, spending hours on the telephone to countries in different time zones. He was often still working when she went to bed.
But one night she stayed up late to watch a long movie, and as it came to an end he joined her with brandy and two glasses. He poured one and set it down beside her before sprawling on the big leather sofa and letting out a long breath.
‘I’ve just spent an hour on the phone to the stupidest man in creation,’ he said with his eyes closed. ‘You think you’ve cleared up one point, then he goes back to the beginning and starts again. After three times, you start losing the will to live.’
He drained his glass and poured more brandy. It was part of Carson’s controlled nature that he never touched alcohol during the day, even at lunch. Especially at lunch. Let the others make mistakes because their wits were fuddled. Carson Page was always coldly alert to take advantage of them. But late at night, in his own home, he drank occasionally.
Gina sipped hers with pleasure. Normally she didn’t care for alcohol, but this was a very fine vintage. ‘One of those days?’ she asked sympathetically.
‘Don’t get me started,’ he groaned.
He gave her the grin of one comrade enjoying a grumble with another, and she was reminded of how he’d seemed to her on the first day, in the car park, exasperated but generous.
She couldn’t help smiling at the picture he presented. Dealing with the stupidest man in creation had caused him to discard his tie, pull open his shirt and tear his hair until it was totally dishevelled.
He looked ten years younger at least, as far as Gina could see, for the only light came from one low reading lamp, and most of the room was in shadows.
‘How was your day?’ he asked, yawning. ‘Joey seemed cheerful at supper.’
‘Yes, we had a good time. We went to the park and took a boat on the lake. And we bumped into a teacher from his school. Alan Hanley. He seemed a nice man, and he filled in some gaps for me.’
‘I’ve met him. How did Joey react?’
‘Oddly, I thought. He was polite but they don’t seem to get through to each other.’
‘So what’s your secret?’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Joey has learned from experts. Some of them are deaf, so they understand his problems too. But he’s chosen you as the one person he can relate to. What do you have that the others don’t?’
‘I wish I knew,’ she said. ‘How can you explain empathy?’
‘You can’t, I guess. It’s like love. It comes out of nowhere and it can’t be explained.’
‘And it seems to survive, no matter what people do to destroy it,’ Gina mused.
‘What does that mean?’
‘Joey was talking about his mother today. Did you tell her about his operation, by the way?’
He shrugged. ‘What would be the point?’
‘I suppose you’re right, but it’s frightening how much he still loves her. I don’t know what to say to him when he talks like that-whether to encourage him or discourage him.’
‘She’ll hurt him just as much either way,’ Carson said. His head was thrown back against the side of the sofa, and he seemed to talk into the distance. Gina had noticed that he did this whenever the conversation veered towards the personal. It had the effect of a visor being pulled down to shield his eyes.
‘Her great gift was always her charm,’ he went on, looking up at the shadowed ceiling. ‘Her beauty is almost secondary. She can charm the birds off the trees, and it works even when you know she can turn it on and off like a tap. You tell yourself that this time you’ll be proof against it and then…’ His voice trailed away into silence.
‘Was it like that with you?’ Gina ventured to ask.
He didn’t reply at first, and she wondered if he was offended. When he finally began to speak, it was as though he was talking to himself.
‘At first, you think it’s all for you, that you’ve been specially privileged with that enchanting look, the incredible smile, as though she’s been waiting all her life to meet just you. After all, she’s only nineteen, and how many wiles can she have learned at that age?
‘You tell yourself all this because you’re a young fool, madly in love, and you want to believe it. It’s actually a kind of arrogance to think such a prize has fallen into your hands because you deserve it, but at that age you are arrogant. And you’ll believe anything if she says it with that special smile. “Darling, I love you-only you-there’ll never
