seemed satisfied.
But she had another bombshell for him. As she closed the album she whispered, ‘Don’t tell Mum what we talked about. She doesn’t know that I know, and I don’t want to worry her.’
He nodded, bereft of speech. He was aghast.
When Nikki had gone to bed he took a walk through the quiet streets. The last of the summer night was fading, and by the time he was ready to turn back it was completely dark.
Just ahead of him was a pub, with a sign proclaiming The Running Sheep, and he felt in need of a beer after this evening. Inside, it was a small, attractive place with a pleasant, old-fashioned atmosphere. The barman sold him a pint of bitter, and he went to sit at a table in the corner.
He was tired. What he’d heard tonight had disturbed him, but his walk had left him no clearer how to deal with it. It was pleasant to sit there, sipping and thinking about nothing very much.
He closed his eyes, and might have dozed off for a moment. When he opened them the barman had gone. In his place was a young woman with fair curly hair and a sweet smile. It took Gino a moment to realise that he was looking at Laura.
He was so used to regarding her as a landlady and Nikki’s mother that he’d unconsciously been perceiving her through those filters, and they had gotten in the way of the real woman. Now he realised that the dancer he had seen in the photographs was still alive somewhere. It was like seeing her for the first time.
She was talking to a customer, almost seeming to flirt with him, shaking her head so that the curls danced about her face. It was a young face, much younger than Gino had realised, and charming, especially when she smiled.
It had a lot in common with the girl in the pictures, except that her blazing belief in life had gone for ever. This woman was more cautious, hurt and vulnerable, but also more interesting than before.
The customer was elderly, and clearly delighted by the attention. He paid for his drink and would have lingered if the barman hadn’t returned, looking at his watch.
‘Last orders, ladies and gentlemen,’ he announced.
The company was thin tonight, and she was soon finished. Gino waved to catch her attention, and they slipped out into the street together.
‘So this is where you sneak away in the evenings,’ he said, grinning. ‘No wonder you don’t want to be at home when you can be surrounded by suitors here.’
‘Oh, stop that. Sam’s a dear old boy and nobody’s flirted with him for years. It’s part of the job, and mostly innocent.’
‘Mostly?’ he asked, glancing sideways.
‘Nothing I can’t handle. I’ve got a mean left hook. Want me to demonstrate?’
‘I’ll take your word for it,’ he said hastily. ‘Let’s go home.’
It was pleasant walking home under the stars, and Gino was reluctant to spoil their peace, but he had no choice.
‘There’s something you need to know,’ he said heavily. ‘Nikki told me tonight that her father is dead.’
Laura stopped and faced him, horrified.
‘She said what?’
‘She was showing me some family pictures, and when he disappeared from them she said, “My daddy’s dead”.’
‘Oh, no,’ she breathed. ‘He didn’t die. He walked out.’
‘Do you ever hear from him?’
‘Not since the divorce. He doesn’t stay in touch.’
‘Christmas? Birthdays?’
‘Not a word, not a card. I suppose it’s easier for her to think of him as dead than neglectful.’
‘Any chance she actually believes it?’
‘No, if he was dead, I’d have told her. She must know that.’
‘So it’s her way of comforting herself.’ Gino sighed. ‘I’m not supposed to have told you this. She said you didn’t know that she knew, and she didn’t want to worry you.’
‘Oh, God, she’s so sweet and generous.’
‘Yes, she is, but I’ve betrayed her confidence. I had to. I couldn’t have kept a thing like that to myself-’
‘Of course you did the right thing. But I’ve been so stupid. Why didn’t I see it coming? How could I have left her exposed to this?’
‘Hey, hey, don’t blame yourself,’ he said urgently. ‘
‘But I should have thought. Oh, heavens!’
Her voice was husky with tears and she buried her face in her hands. Gino put his arms about her, holding her tightly while she wept.
‘It isn’t your fault,’ he said again. ‘You’re her mother, but you can only do so much. There are things you can’t make right for her, however hard you try. You can see them coming, but you can’t get out of the way.’
‘But I could help her through them. I’ve got to get home quickly, and talk to her.’
‘No, don’t.’ In his agitation he took her arms and drew her around to face him. ‘Stop and think. What are you going to tell her, that I betrayed her confidence?’
‘Confidence? She’s an eight-year-old child-’
‘Even a child likes to be treated with respect. Right now, she feels she can talk to me.’
‘But why not me?’
‘Because you’re her mother. I’m not involved so it’s easier for her to talk to me. As long as she trusts me, maybe I can be of some use to her, and to you. Laura please, don’t do anything to make her stop trusting me.’
He felt some of the tension go out of her, and she sighed, nodding.
‘You’re right,’ she said in despair. ‘I should have thought of that.’
‘You’ve got to stop blaming yourself for everything. You keep saying you should have done this and you should have done that, but you can’t do it all. No one can. Let someone else share the load.’
She gave a wry laugh.
‘There’s never been anyone to share it with.’
‘You’ve got me now,’ he reminded her gently.
She gave a shaky laugh. ‘Yes, I have, haven’t I?’ She put her arms about him and kissed him on the cheek. ‘How did I ever manage before you arrived? The best kid brother I never had.’
‘What do you mean,
‘I’m three years older than you. That makes you my kid brother. And, like most kid brothers, you can sometimes be a pain in the butt, and at other times be pretty marvellous.’
‘Yes, I finished the shelves,’ he said at once.
‘I didn’t mean-oh,
He hugged her. ‘Come on, let’s go home. Your baby brother is starving.’
He made spaghetti and tomato sauce, which they ate together at the kitchen table.
Laura got out the photo album and he went through it again.
‘You were a real looker, weren’t you?’ he observed.
‘Yes, I was-the dim and distant past.’
‘That’s not what I-’
‘Oh, shut up!’ She thumped him amiably and he just managed not to drop tomato sauce on the album.
‘You can tell so much from old photos,’ he mused. ‘People’s past selves, sometimes even they’ve forgotten what they were like-and there they are.’
‘What about you? Don’t you have any record of your past self?’
She felt him tense.
‘Not here with me.’
‘Not one little picture of the younger Gino?’
After a moment he said quietly, ‘All right.’
He went up to his room and returned a moment later with a picture that he put into her hand.
It showed Gino, with flowers in his disarranged hair, looking mildly tipsy, his arm about the loveliest young
