His Pretend Wife

She swung around, tears pouring down her face. She was beyond speech, beyond dismay that he’d found her like this, beyond hope or fear. She could do nothing but lean against the tree in helpless, shuddering despair.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said huskily. ‘There’s always one more thing and I’m falling apart. I mustn’t-for Hetta’s sake-but I am, I am, and there’s nowhere to go-oh, God!-’

She wept freely, not even trying to cover her face. Her strength had collapsed all in a moment and there was nothing left.

Andrew took hold of her shoulders gently. ‘Has something happened to Hetta?’ he asked. ‘Do you want me to go to her?’

‘No, she’s fine,’ Elinor choked.

‘If she’s fine, everything’s fine. Ellie, do you hear that? If Hetta is safe and well, nothing else matters. Cling to it. Any other problem can be solved.’

But she could barely hear him. Anguish shook her, wrung her out, drained her. He was so close to her that she could feel his breath, and put up her hands as if to fend him off, shaking her head from side to side.

‘No,’ she gasped, ‘no, it’s no use-don’t you understand? Nothing’s any use because as fast as you cope with one thing-there’s always something else-it’s like-there’s someone up there who’s going to throw one thing after another into my path until I give in-and-and-’

‘OK, OK,’ he said. ‘You’re having hysterics, and it’s no wonder after what you’ve been through, but it’s going to be fine-’

‘What do you know?’ she demanded, not screaming but speaking in a low, hoarse whisper. ‘There’s nothing you or anyone can do about this. They’re going to take her away from me and I can’t stop them.’

All her control had gone and grief poured out of her in ugly hee-hawing sobs. Andrew wasted no more time in talking but put his arms about her and pulled her hard against his chest.

‘All right,’ he murmured. ‘Let it come. You’ve fought it long enough, don’t try any more.’

‘I can’t cope with anything else,’ she sobbed.

‘There’s no need to. You’re not alone.’

‘Yes, I am, I’ve always been alone. Oh, you don’t have to tell me it’s my own fault-’

‘I wasn’t going to-’

‘I know it, and I can survive if it’s just me, but it’s not fair on Hetta, she’s never had any kind of life-’

‘But she’s going to have a great life now,’ he said, trying to be heard through her torrent of words.

‘She should have had a better mother, someone who knew what to do and didn’t go blundering through life making mistakes and getting it all wrong, and, oh, God! Oh, God!’

He gave up trying to get through to her and held her tightly while the storm raged. When he finally felt her calm down a little he put his hands either side of her face.

‘Listen to me,’ he said severely. ‘Whatever it is, something can be done, yes, it can,’ he added quickly as she tried to speak. ‘This is just nerves because you’ve been through so much and it’s all caught up with you in one go. But it’s not like you to give in.’

‘You don’t know what’s like me,’ she whispered.

‘I know you always had a lot of courage.’

‘Not really. Way back then-I was all talk. I didn’t know what life was about.’

‘And you think you know now?’

‘It’s about betrayal,’ she said quietly, ‘and fighting, and things always turning out wrong, and knowing it was your own fault because you’re stupid.’

‘You’re not stupid. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Now tell me what brought this on. Why should Hetta be taken away from you?’

‘Because I’ve nowhere for us to live. The guest house where we’ve been staying burned down today and she’s due out of here tomorrow.’

‘Then we’ll find somewhere else for you to go.’

‘How can I? I’ve no money and Nurse Stewart wants to bring in social services, and they’ll take her away from me-’

‘Of course they won’t,’ he said firmly. ‘They’re not ogres. They know Hetta needs her mother. As for Stewart, what on earth made you confide in that stupid woman?’

‘I couldn’t help it. She found me-I’m not supposed to be here at night-’

‘But you’ve nowhere else. Right. Leave her to me.’

He relaxed his grip, giving her space to draw back and see his face. In the dark it was hard to make out details, but she could see that it was hard and set, and radiated confidence. Even so, ‘You won’t make Nurse Stewart back down,’ she said.

He raised his eyebrows. ‘I’m commonly held to have a little authority around here. Even over her. Come on.’

He took her elbow and led her back through the trees. As they approached the lights of the building he released her and said firmly, ‘Keep quiet and leave everything to me.’

‘All right.’ Her fear had gone. The total confidence and authority of this man was beyond question. He could do anything.

His manner as he entered the ward was impeccably formal, and Nurse Stewart hurried forward, eyeing Elinor suspiciously.

‘A very serious problem has developed,’ she hurried to say. ‘Hetta Landers is suddenly homeless, and I really feel it’s my duty to-’

‘To inform me,’ Andrew interrupted her smoothly. ‘You were quite right, but Mrs Landers has already consulted me, and I have the problem in hand.’

‘I’m sure you agree that it’s a matter for the proper authorities. A vulnerable child must not be-’

‘Must not be parted from her mother,’ Andrew interrupted again, and this time in a manner that made it plain he was taking charge of the conversation. ‘I have a good friend who’s highly placed in the social services. I’ve already contacted him, and there’s no need for you to take any action.’

Nurse Stewart’s mouth tightened, and Elinor guessed that to be told to do nothing was ashes to her.

‘Of course, if you have the matter in hand…’ she said reluctantly. ‘May I know the name of this friend?’

There was a silence, during which Andrew’s face assumed the frozen, stony look that his staff dreaded. Elinor thought she would die if he ever turned that look on her. And then she remembered the night that he had.

‘Are you implying that you do not believe me, Nurse?’ Andrew asked very, very quietly.

Even Nurse Stewart blenched at his tone, but she rallied. ‘Certainly not, but if he should be in touch-’

‘It will be with me, not you. Now, Mrs Landers, if you’ll collect your things, I’m sure your friends will be here for you soon.’

Dazed, Elinor drew her cases quietly from under the bed, managing not to disturb Hetta. Andrew took one from her and strode out of the ward, with her following.

Not a word was uttered while they went along the corridor and into a lift. But when the doors were safely shut and they were on their way down Elinor ventured to say, ‘Suppose she checks up to find out if you told the truth?’

He turned astonished eyes on her. ‘Check up? On me?’

There it was again, that total dominating authority that expected no challenge. It wasn’t even arrogant. It didn’t need to be.

‘But all those things you said-what will she do when nothing happens?’

He regarded her with faint amusement. ‘But something will happen. I’m going to make it happen.’ His mouth assumed a sardonic twist. ‘Don’t you think I can?’

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, meaning it. ‘I think you could do just about anything.’

Two floors down they left the lift and headed along another corridor, and a door.

‘This is my office. You can stay here tonight. There’s a small bathroom through there, so you won’t need to go out for any reason. Stretch out on the sofa, keep the door locked and don’t answer to anyone except me. I’ll be here at five-thirty in the morning. That way, I’ll be ahead of the cleaner, who comes at six. Here’s a small travelling alarm. Set it for five o’clock. Have I forgotten anything?’

‘I can’t imagine you forgetting anything. Thank you so much. I just don’t know how to-’

‘No need,’ he said quickly. ‘Goodnight.’