His Pretend Wife

‘Could.’

‘Couldn’t.’

‘Could.’

‘Couldn’t!’

In the end she shrugged and said, ‘Well, maybe I could if I set my mind to it. But I’m not going to.’

‘Oh, go on! It’ll be fun seeing my big brother when he’s not being so cocky.’

‘Yes,’ Ellie murmured with feeling.

‘Go on, then.’

‘No.’

‘You’re chicken.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You are.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You are.’

Goaded, she said, ‘Listen, I could have anyone I want, and that includes your snooty brother. But I’m not interested in him.’

‘So pretend.’

‘I’ll think about it.’

Like children squabbling in the playground, she thought, years later. That was the level of the conversation that had ultimately broken a man’s heart.

Even as a child Andrew had been orderly about remembering dates and details. For a man of science it was very useful.

But there were times he would have been glad of a little forgetfulness. His brother’s birthday, for instance, which came exactly seven weeks and three days after Grace’s birthday party; seven weeks and three days after the night he’d met Ellie; seven weeks and two days since he’d fled her, six weeks and five days since he’d returned home to find her there and known that it had been useless to run and a mistake to return.

It would be an even worse mistake to attend Johnny’s birthday festivities and risk another meeting. But his mother said it was his family duty, and duty was something Andrew never shirked.

When the day came he set out, armed with a gift for his brother, but as he reached town it occurred to him to buy something for his mother too, and headed for the nearest department store.

And there was Ellie, serving on the cosmetics counter, laughing with a customer as she demonstrated a perfume on her wrist. She didn’t see Andrew at first, so that he had time to stand and watch her. And in that moment he knew that all the discipline and control, all the mental tricks to blot her out, had been for nothing, and the truth was that he had thought of her night and day since their last meeting.

She looked up and saw him. Smiled. He smiled back. It was all over.

When the customer had gone he approached her, heart thumping. To cover his confusion he made his face sterner and more rigid than usual.

‘Good morning,’ he said, almost fiercely.

‘Hey, don’t bite my head off,’ she protested, laughing. ‘What have I done wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ he said hastily. ‘I only said good morning.’

‘You made it sound like the crack of doom.’

Her smile touched him again, and this time he relaxed a little. ‘I’m looking for something for my mother,’ he told her. ‘I don’t see why Johnny should have all the gifts.’

‘Johnny?’

‘His nineteenth birthday.’

‘Is it? I didn’t know.’

‘But aren’t you coming to the party?’ he asked, dismayed.

‘I haven’t seen much of Johnny lately,’ she said with a light shrug. ‘Do you want perfume, or lipstick, or-?’

‘Pardon?’

‘For your mother.’

‘My mother? Oh, yes, her present.’

Pull yourself together, he thought. You’re burbling like an idiot.

‘What sort of make-up does she wear?’ Ellie asked.

‘Um…’ He looked at her, wild-eyed, and she laughed at his confusion. But not unkindly.

‘I’ll bet you’ve never noticed if she wears any at all,’ she teased.

‘It’s not the sort of thing I’m good at,’ he confessed.

‘You and the rest of the male population.’

‘What do you do for the others?’

‘Scented soap is pretty safe, especially with some nice gift wrapping.’

She showed him a variety of boxed soaps and he chose the biggest, an astounding pink and mauve creation.

‘I thought you’d pick that one,’ she said.

‘I guess that means everyone does, huh?’

‘Not everyone. Only the fellers. I’ll gift-wrap it for free. I guess I owe you, and I like to pay my debts.’

‘Ah! Now that’s a pity because I was hoping you’d pay your debt in another way.’

‘How?’

‘I’d feel self-conscious turning up alone at this do. Since you and Johnny are-aren’t-well, you might come with me. Just to make me look good.’

‘You didn’t bring Lilian?’

‘Why should you ask that?’ he demanded, suddenly self-conscious. ‘It’s what my mother said. I don’t know why everyone assumes that-I’m fond of Lilian but we’re not joined at the hip-head-’ he corrected hastily. He had a horrible feeling that he was blushing like a boy.

‘The only problem is that it’s the store’s late night,’ Ellie said. ‘We don’t close until nine.’

‘I’ll be outside, waiting.’

When the time came she was late, filling him with dread lest she’d thought better of it and stood him up.

‘Did you think I wasn’t coming?’ Her voice burst through his gloomy reverie. ‘I’m so sorry, but the manager wouldn’t stop talking.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, brilliant with joy. ‘You’re here.’

She tucked her arm in his as they began to walk. ‘Have you been to Johnny’s party?’

‘Yes, and it was noisy. Johnny was talking about going to the funfair in the park later, and most of the food at home has gone now. Why don’t we grab a snack somewhere, and join them later?’

‘Great.’

He took her to a small French restaurant, formal, but pleasantly quiet. She didn’t look out of place here as she would have done in her gold party get-up, Andrew realised. Everything about her was more restrained, more gentle, more delightful.

‘Did your mother like her present?’ she asked.

‘She was over the moon,’ he said truthfully. ‘You’d have thought I’d bought her a whole bath house instead of a few cakes of soap.’

‘It’s not the soap. It’s because you thought of her.’

‘I guess you’re right.’

‘I know I’m right. You should see some of my male customers, getting all worked up about this perfume or that perfume, treating it like rocket science. And I want to grab their lapels and yell, “Just show her you’ve thought of her. That’s the real present.” Gee, men can be so dumb.’

‘I guess we can,’ he said, entranced, willing her to go on.

She did so, entertaining him for several minutes with a witty description of life at the cosmetics counter, which seemed to be a crash course in human nature. Again he had the feeling that she was more mature than he remembered. The true reason didn’t occur to him. This was her subject. She was an expert in it, and therefore at an advantage.