no such confrontations because he was doing everything from a distance. And he was losing by it.
It soon became clear that Miss Fuller’s defection had soon passed along the grapevine. Contacts telephoned, full of barely concealed curiosity. They murmured agreement when Gavin explained that Miss Fuller preferred the city, but they knew the truth. Gavin could hear the line humming with their unspoken knowledge.
“Why don’t you go and see some of these people?” Norah demanded, exasperated.
“Sure, you’d just love me to go, wouldn’t you?” he asked coolly. His nerves were in shreds. “And what would I find when I came back? The locks changed, I shouldn’t wonder.”
Norah pushed back a lock of untidy hair and looked at him with weary distaste. “If I had the energy I’d throw something at you for saying that,” she observed.
“Remind me to duck sometime.”
“You can laugh, but my aim is perfect-as I’m sure you’ll discover one day. Luckily for you I’m dead beat.”
She collapsed in a leather armchair, with her legs over the side. She was dressed in a pair of old shorts that looked as if they’d been cut down from jeans, topped off by a small sleeveless vest. The outfit had clearly been chosen for comfort and convenience. It was impossible to imagine this hostile young woman wanting to appear seductive to him. Yet he was disturbingly conscious of her long, bare legs, the beauty of her neck, the way her breasts swelled against the thin vest, and the rosiness of her skin that looked as if it smelled of the sun and the wind.
“Of course the locks won’t be changed,” she told him. “We’ll all still be here when you get back.”
He regarded her suspiciously. “Really?”
“Well you can bring a pickax to knock down the door if I’m lying, can’t you?” she demanded, exasperated. “For heaven’s sake, Hunter,
“You mean Peter will benefit?” he snapped.
“Actually, I was thinking of myself,” she snapped back.
“Fine. Then I’ll spend tomorrow in London.”
“Do that. Spend the day after, too, and the day after that-”
“Just tomorrow. You don’t get rid of me that easily.”
She grinned at him cheekily. “Shame!”
Chapter Six
He was gone three days, and managed to fix up some short-term finance that would give him a breathing space, though it would also increase his debt. On the last evening he went to have dinner at the home of Brian Kendel, a business contact with whom he was vaguely friendly. He found his host and hostess a little flustered and behind with their preparations. “We started playing with the new toy and forgot the time,” Brian said self-consciously.
“New toy?” Gavin echoed politely. He had visions of an executive knickknack, all clicking beads and colored lights, such as were supposed to relieve stress in businessmen.
But his host produced a neat little camcorder. “It’s our second,” he explained. “We got the first one when Simon was born, three years ago. Now that we’ve got Joan, as well, we bought a new one. When the kids are grown-up we can rerun the tapes. It’s like snapshots, only better.”
He played a tape on the television, showing his baby son from the first day to his third birthday. Gavin watched with a fixed attention that was more than mere politeness and made his hosts think well of him. In fact he was merely thunderstruck by the realization of how much of Peter’s growing he’d missed, and the discovery of how he could at least fix the present on tape.
“Where can I get one of these things?” he asked urgently.
He left London next day with the latest model on the backseat of the car. All the way to Norfolk he was thinking of the pleasures of using it. Perhaps Peter would be intrigued by the machine, they could discover its workings together, and at last break through the barrier that still separated them.
The road home took him along the coast. The tide was still out, although coming in fast, and he looked across the flat sands where the boats were just beginning to float again, remembering the time he’d been here, and all that had happened that night.
He slowed the car as he saw two figures, one tall, one short, walking out in the direction of the sea. Even at this distance he was sure they were Norah and Peter. In his present mood, he felt charitable toward all the world. He would follow, and show them the camera and the three of them could enjoy it together. He stopped the car and called to them, but they were too far out to hear. Gavin began to run after them.
Peter was carrying a box, which he put carefully down on the sand and opened. The two of them were so absorbed that they weren’t aware of Gavin, although he was now quite close. He heard Norah said, “Lift him out.” Peter reached into the box and took out a sea gull, which he held carefully between his two hands.
He set the bird down on the sand and took a step back. There was something natural and practiced about his movements, as though he’d done this many times before. The sea gull hesitated a moment before pattering a few tentative steps. Then it seemed to smell the salty air and sense the breeze on its back. It moved faster-then faster-and suddenly it was airborne, winging away across the water, directly into the sun. Norah and Peter watched it go, their hands shading their eyes.
But suddenly Peter brought up his other hand to cover his face and turned so that he could hide against Norah. She embraced him at once. “I loved Joey, too,” she said. “But it’s better for him to fly back to his natural life. He’ll be happier that way.”
But Peter shook his head violently and cried in a muffled voice, “It’s not
Norah sighed and held him more closely. “I know. Mum and Dad. They used to love releasing things back to the wild, and we’re going to remember them every time we do this. But, darling, one day it won’t hurt. It’ll be like the gull. We’ll remember only the time we had together and be grateful for it, and we’ll understand why we had to say goodbye. That time will come. I promise.”
Pain slashed through Gavin. It was akin to the pain he’d felt at the funeral when Peter had whispered “Goodbye, Daddy.” But that had only been a moment. This seemed to last for an age. Gavin regarded himself as a man in control of his emotions, but this was more than he could cope with. His misery gave birth to a cruel demon, and it was the demon that spoke harshly from within him, saying, “And the sooner it comes, the better.”
They whirled and stared at him. There was shock and dismay in Peter’s face, horror in Norah’s. “For pity’s sake!” she said angrily. “Do you have to-?”
“Yes, I have to, because I’m tired of this. I’ve been patient while you turned my son into a namby-pamby, but I won’t allow it any longer. At some point he’s got to grow up and stop crying.”
Peter wrenched himself away from Norah. If he’d run to his father Gavin would have opened his arms to him, but Peter avoided him and fled back across the sands in the direction of home. Gavin turned to go after him, but Norah seized his arm.
“To think I believed you were learning a little sensitivity,” she raged. “It was all a front, wasn’t it? The truth is that you’re harsh and cruel and completely without understanding. You don’t care for Peter as a person. If you did, you couldn’t have acted like that. He’s a possession you came here to reclaim, and you’re getting impatient with having to go slowly.”
“If you mean that Peter is mine, you’re right-”
“You saw Liz in the same way. That’s why you lost her. You think about nothing but possessions, money and success.”
“Success matters. That’s how a man knows what he is.”
“Well, what are you?” she demanded. “A man whom nobody loves.”
He hardened his face, refusing to let her see that this accusation was like a blow to the stomach. “There’s more to life than love,” he grated. “I want my son brought up to see things as they are, not through the rose- colored spectacles you all wear in this place.”
“What do you mean, rose colored?”
“I mean today’s touching little ceremony. Sick creatures don’t always recover, and there isn’t always a happy ending. You call me harsh. Well, life
