spice of life. Once I reminded him of how crazy he’d been about my mother, and he didn’t know what I was talking about. He’s dead now.’
‘And your mother?’
‘Living in Australia-I think. I sensed that she felt uncomfortable when I visited, so I stopped bothering her.’
‘Well, I guess it’s no mystery why you don’t think ties are the greatest thing in the world,’ she seethed.
He grinned in self-mockery.
‘I thought of a clever plan. I’d live as I pleased, do everything I wanted to do first. Then I’d get married and have children when I was too old and decrepit to do anything else.’
‘There’s a flaw in that plan,’ Mandy said gravely.
‘Yes, I’m beginning to see that. Besides, I soon realized that a man who takes such a jaundiced view of families as I do had probably better not have children.’
‘But you might be a better parent because you’ve seen the other side,’ she suggested.
‘That’s a nice theory, but I don’t believe it. There’s too much in there-’ he laid a hand over his heart ‘-that had better stay well hidden.’
Silence: the contented silence of two people at ease with each other. Soon they would sleep, make love, rise again to eat, then return to bed and talk. And it dawned on her that this was how people behaved on honeymoon, which was the ultimate madness.
Going to the kitchen again was a worrying experience. The bottled water was running out. There was still the water in the tank, which wasn’t really for drinking. Otherwise there was only a bottle of whisky. They surveyed it in silence.
‘Not for me,’ Mandy said. ‘I don’t want to hide. I want to be there and know about it-whatever happens.’
‘You might find it easier…’ he ventured.
‘I don’t want it to be easy. It matters too much.’
Renzo leaned forwards and kissed her tenderly. ‘I knew you’d say that. You’re right. Just us. That’s all we need.’
When they’d eaten their meagre rations there was nothing to do but seek the warmth that only the bed could offer. They made love again, knowing that time was slipping away, and it was as sweet and pleasurable as before, but now there was an added resonance. With every tender gesture, every invitation given and received, they said goodbye.
There was desire in each caress, but softened by infinite tenderness.
‘I wish I could see your face,’ he murmured. ‘I want to see how you look at me.’
‘But you know my face,’ she whispered. ‘You don’t need to see it.’
‘But which face? The one that teases me-’
‘No, not that one.’
‘Tell me.’
‘Kiss me first…again…again…’
Her voice trembled into a soft moan as his lips moved from her mouth to her jaw, her neck, her breasts. She entwined her fingers in his hair, drawing him closer, the more deeply to relish the feel of his tongue flickering against her skin. She was drowning in sensation, as warm and comforting as it was passionate.
With all her being she tried to do the same for him, giving from a full heart, taking perhaps the last chance to show him what he was to her, although even she didn’t truly know that. What they might have shared would have been revealed over years together-fighting, making up, having children. Now it must all be experienced in a few moments, and she gave herself up to the sensation with all her heart.
Renzo sensed her feelings deep in himself and moved up to where her face was, just below his, still seeking something he needed to know. He found it in her eyes that glittered brightly enough for him to see and heard it in the long sigh of satisfaction that broke from her, telling him that she was ready, eager for their union.
As he entered her, she arched up against him, claiming him as her own and becoming his in the same moment. No matter what would happen tomorrow, they would have this one last triumphant assertion of life.
‘I love you,’ he said softly. ‘It may be the last time I ever say it, and if so, I’m glad it’s to you and nobody else. You are everything to me, and you will be everything, for however long we have-and afterwards.’
‘I’m glad too,’ she told him. ‘I love you and, whatever happens now, I can take it because we had this, and it matters more than anything else ever has.’
‘More than anything ever will,’ he whispered.
He slept first, holding her against him, her head against his heart, listening to the soft beat, until finally she too slept.
Mandy awoke to find herself alone and went to find Renzo in the forbidden room, watching the falling snow. He turned and smiled at her, and she remembered that smile afterwards because it was almost the last she saw of him. As she moved towards him the building began to shake and a thunderous grinding roar came from beneath their feet.
‘Get back,’ he yelled.
But she was petrified, staring at the floor that began to disintegrate under her feet. The next moment she felt a violent push that sent her flying to the back of the room so that her head hit the wall.
Now she knew what was happening. The ground beneath them had collapsed again, taking with it the place where Renzo had been standing. But he was no longer there. His lunge towards her had taken him almost to safety, but not quite. The floor was slipping away, sloping too steeply for him to be able to fight it. He fought to grab hold of something, but everywhere was too slippery.
‘Renzo,’ she screamed, stretching out her arms desperately.
But it was too late. He was vanishing faster every moment.
‘Renzo! No-’
His face was turned up to her, tortured with strain and horror as he reached vainly for her.
The sound faded even as he uttered it. He was going down, down, until she could no longer see him. From somewhere in the distance she heard a long agonised cry that faded as it sank into the depths, like a man descending into hell.
Forgetting safety, she crawled back to the new edge, looking down into the abyss where there was only deadly whiteness. Scream after scream burst from her, echoing down into nothingness, and more screams until all the world echoed with them, and then it was over.
CHAPTER FIVE
ON THE Via Manzoni the buildings spoke of money. Here, in the most elegant part of Milan, there was an air of indulgence and reaching out comfortably to the neighbours. All except for one house, which had a bolted and barred appearance, suggesting, at least, someone who preferred not to be disturbed and, at worst, someone who hated the world.
Mandy paused outside to check that she’d come to the right address. It was hard to connect Renzo with the slightly grim aspect of this place, yet the paper in her hand assured her that this was where he lived. She raised her hand to ring the bell, then backed off and went instead to a small cafe just down the street.
It saddened her to think of him being different. She could see him now, giving her the old smile-teasing, yet tender and generous. Surely nothing could have altered that?
She caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror on the wall. It was like seeing a ghost, and in a strange way that was how she’d felt since the day she’d awoken in a hospital in Chamonix to the news that, while she had been
