‘How did it go?’ Sue asked.
‘Badly. He’s a different man. Oh, Sue, I don’t know how I’m going to manage this. I thought it would be so simple, and I should have known better. I used to wonder why he’d never tried to find me, but how could he when he didn’t know if I was real?’
‘Have you told him-anything?’
‘No. I have to wait for the right time, only I’m afraid it may never come.’
‘Mandy, do you still love him?’
She drew a long breath before saying, ‘I don’t even know that any more. How can I? I don’t know who he is.’
‘Danny’s just woken up. He learned a new word and he wants to tell you about it.’
‘Oh, yes,’ Mandy said eagerly. ‘Put him on.’
A moment later there was a gurgle on the other end.
‘Hello, darling, it’s Mummy. I love you.’
‘Is that your new word? You’re so clever.’
‘Yes, darling,’ she said through tears. ‘Mummy’s a fish. I miss you so much. I’ll be home soon, I hope. But Daddy needs me just now. I love you.’
She hung up and dropped her head into her hands, weeping for the child who didn’t know his father, and the father who didn’t know his child.
Mandy was awoken next morning by the phone. It was Lucia, the secretary.
‘He says you must come back. Right now. Please come quickly. You don’t know what he’s like when he doesn’t get what he wants.’
‘I’ll be right there.’
Mandy dressed quickly but carefully, managing to look elegant and serious in perfectly cut trousers. When she was sure she was just right, she walked the short distance to his house.
Renzo was waiting for her in the room where she’d last seen him. He was in the wheelchair, but otherwise looked better.
‘Thank you for coming so quickly,’ he said. ‘I forgot my manners yesterday. Please forgive me.’
‘Of course. You were unwell.’
‘I invited you back because we were trapped together in that avalanche. My memory is patchy but…I do remember you.’
He said the last words with difficulty because they alarmed him. Seeing this woman, a stranger yet oddly familiar, had been a shock, one that he’d tried to cope with by ejecting her. But she wouldn’t be ejected. She’d returned in the night, bringing with her a host of impressions that pounded on his brain and demanded entrance.
They had to fight with a million other impressions. His fall had left him with a broken pelvis and severe spinal injuries, and the memory of that savage agony haunted him still.
In the long weeks in hospital he thought perhaps he’d gone mad-hallucinating, his mind filled with many things that did not make sense. Dancers had spun and whirled, a blazing sun set behind the mountains, and a cheeky little cat mysteriously came and went.
He’d left hospital much sooner than the doctors had advised, to take charge of his business, which had been ailing without him. He’d told himself that he had everything under control. The pain was bad but manageable, his employees obeyed him without question, he was feared and respected.
It was only sometimes that he was troubled-in the still of the night, when the pretty cat with sleek black fur and green eyes returned and wandered impudently through his dreams, before vanishing into the shadows.
She had been there last night, teasing and provoking him until he’d awoken, trembling uncontrollably.
There was only one thing for a well-organised man to do: confront the danger, deal with it and neutralise it.
‘Won’t you sit down?’ he said politely, indicating a chair.
He was already filling her cup from the teapot. ‘You prefer tea to coffee, I seem to recall. You and Henry.’
‘You remember him?’ she asked quickly.
‘How could anyone forget him?’
‘He died.’
‘Yes, I know. Also Joan and Peter, for which I blame myself. I should never have let them come up with me. Thank goodness you’re all right. I have enough on my conscience.’ Before she could reply, he glanced up, saying, ‘Here’s Teresa with the food. I ordered you a complete English breakfast.’
It was perfect-cornflakes, bacon and eggs, toast. Mandy tucked in, really hungry, but also glad of the chance to think rather than talk. Seeing Renzo yesterday-harsh, ill-tempered, unlike the man she remembered, had been unsettling. Now he was smooth, courteous and at ease, but it was the ease of a man who’d hoisted his defences into place. If anything, she’d preferred him yesterday.
‘I was too agitated to ask your name,’ he said smoothly. ‘I got it from Lucia after you left. I remember-there was a Mandy Jenkins in the hut with me. They found her things there, with mine. We were there, weren’t we?’
‘For two days.’
‘It must have been very uncomfortable. Part of the hut was missing, I recall. And it was freezing cold.’
‘We huddled in blankets, and for food we had to make do with the little that was left in the kitchen.’
‘A sad end to a trip that had started so well, except that I think you and I got off on the wrong foot. I annoyed you with some remark I made.’
‘You said I looked delicate,’ she replied lightly.
‘Ah, that was it. But you proved me wrong. You were a much better climber than I expected.’
‘Yes, we surprised each other in lots of ways.’
Here was a chance to trigger off the memories of their personal closeness, their jokey, teasing relationship which had been so sweet even while they’d riled each other.
‘Well, I must admit-’ he started to say, then saw Teresa approaching again. ‘Yes, please, Teresa, we’ll have some more tea.’
While Teresa removed the pot, Mandy held her breath for what he would say next.
‘Where was I?’ he said at last. ‘Ah, yes, I must admit that everyone on that trip surprised me. That’s what comes of taking over someone else’s expedition. Pierre judged very badly, and I meant to tell him so when he came to see me in hospital. But he was in such a state that I couldn’t. He felt so guilty that he closed his business and vanished.’
‘Yes, I heard he’d gone,’ she said in a blank voice.
Her disappointment was severe. He remembered her, but only as one of the crowd.
‘But why should Pierre feel guilty?’ she asked. ‘Henry was a bad choice but Pierre couldn’t have foreseen his behaviour.’
‘That’s what I told him.’
‘And you shouldn’t blame yourself. You were a great leader.’
She was mouthing platitudes, saying anything to keep talking, hoping to find the place where a door could open.
‘I remember on the first day out,’ she went on desperately, ‘Joan slipped and I supported her for a moment. I felt so proud of myself, but actually you were there supporting both of us, as you couldn’t resist pointing out to me the following evening.’
‘Did I? That was rather rude of me.’
‘No, it wasn’t rude at all. We were just bickering as usual. It was rather fun, don’t you remember?’
Renzo made a wry face. ‘Not yet, but I’m sure it will come back soon.’
Mandy felt snubbed. He spoke as an adult patronising a recalcitrant child.
There was silence as Teresa returned with fresh tea, and it stretched on when she’d departed. Mandy struggled to find words but she seemed to be facing a blank wall.
‘We used to have some choice names for each other,’ she said.
‘I’m sure I never called you names.’
