‘What will happen now-to-?’
‘Your friend? For the moment nothing. He was granted bail in the hope that he would lead the police to the stolen goods, but he vanished. With luck he might never be heard of again.’
She nodded. ‘If he hears that it’s been recovered-’
‘He won’t. I pulled some strings with friends in the locality, and managed to get it kept quiet.’
‘But what about Sarah Conway?’ she asked cautiously.
‘Sarah who? She doesn’t exist, according to the police. Vanelli invented her to get the heat off himself. They’re not wasting valuable resources looking for a chimera.’
She closed her eyes, faint with relief.
‘Thank you,’ she murmured. ‘Thank you, thank you.’
Holly took a long, deep breath, suddenly aware of a weakness that threatened to consume her. He was telling her that the worst was over, and so it was. The realisation that the fear and dread had ended so abruptly was almost frightening.
And it had happened because he had willed it so. That was almost the scariest thing of all.
‘Holly?’ His voice sounded close, and when she opened her eyes he was standing right beside her, his eyes alarmed.
The force of conflicting feelings fighting for supremacy shook her to the core, making her sway. Instantly his hands were on her shoulders.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes,’ she said, a little breathlessly. ‘I’m fine-really-’
‘You’re not going to faint, are you?’ he asked, scandalised.
‘Of course not,’ she declared indignantly. ‘What do you think I am?’
‘Someone who’s entitled to faint if she wants to,’ he answered in a surprisingly gentle voice. ‘Someone who has been through enough to undermine the strongest woman, who was determined not to let her courage fail, and who had given everything in her to making sure that it didn’t.’
‘So what’s wrong with that?’
‘Nothing, but there’s a price to be paid in weakness and misery. Nobody can be strong forever. How many nights have you lain awake devoting your thoughts to Liza instead of your own troubles?’
‘Many,’ she murmured.
‘You were trying to forget the troubles, but now they have to be faced.’
‘But I thought they were over.’
‘Mostly they are. But they’ll haunt you and you can’t run from them. Don’t try. There’s no escape. They have to be struggled through in your head just as you struggled through them in reality.’
As sometimes before, she had the sensation that he was talking about himself as much as her.
‘How long will they live with me?’ she wondered.
‘All your life because now they
‘That’s true. And I don’t want to go back.’
He nodded. ‘You’re wise. The joy you once had-’
‘Thought I had-’
‘Is gone forever.’
‘But there’ll be other happiness,’ she said, almost pleading.
‘Perhaps, but never as you knew before. Live without it. Be strong without it, but never waste time grieving for it.’
Holly shivered. The strength he was offering was the strength that came from a desert land, because now it was all he knew.
‘I wonder if you understand me,’ he said softly.
‘Yes, I understand you. Goodnight, Signor Fallucci. Thank you for everything you’ve done.’
As summer advanced and the heat grew more like a furnace, Holly spent more time in the garden, especially in the evenings. One night, about a week after Matteo’s return, she slipped out and stood taking long breaths of the night air. There was only a soft moon tonight but she knew her way along the paths to the fountains, guided by their soft splashing, until she came to the memorial.
This was the monument to the love she’d witnessed in the photographs; love as it should be, still powerful after several years of marriage; love that was honest and faithful, that could be trusted until the last moment.
Love such as she had never known, and probably never would.
‘Bruno,’ she murmured, and on the word a thousand memories crowded in, all beautiful once, all tainted now with bitterness and betrayal.
How his eyes had shone and his smile had seemed for her alone. How skilfully he had inspired sensations she had thought never to feel. How easily she had taken the illusion for the reality!
Fool! Fool!
She leaned over slightly, looking into the water, seeing her own outline, her face in shadow, and the moon, high in the sky. But then she became aware of something else behind her, something that seemed to shimmer in the water. It might have been an illusion, but the hands on her shoulders were real enough.
She whirled, barely able to gasp his name.
‘Hush!’ His hand was quickly across her mouth to silence her. ‘Hush, my love!’
She grew still, staring at him in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. There was the handsome face that had so often made her heart beat faster. It was beating now, not with excitement but with anger.
‘You look surprised to see me,
‘I suppose I did if I’d thought of it. Maybe I just didn’t think about you very much.’
‘No, you forgot me in a moment,’ he said reproachfully. ‘How could you do that?’
‘I wanted to wipe you out of existence.’
‘But you can’t, can you?’ he said, drawing her into his arms. ‘You know that you and I are bound together.’
For a moment she tensed to throw him off. It was curiosity that stopped her. How would his kiss feel now that she knew the truth?
Immediately she knew that everything had changed. The touch that had once thrilled her with its promise now meant nothing. The hands whose caresses had been so exciting moved over her without charm or interest. Everything was dead. As dead as her heart.
But being dead was useful. If you couldn’t feel, you couldn’t be hurt, and what she needed to do was suddenly easy.
She allowed him to feel her relaxing in his arms and knew that she’d fooled him. He was so conceited that he thought this was going to be easy.
‘Holly,’ he murmured, ‘my Holly…’
Not his. Never again.
‘Bruno…’ she whispered.
‘I knew I’d find you waiting for me. Nothing can come between us-are you still mine?’
‘What do you think?’ she asked softly.
‘I think that now we’re together we must never be apart again.’
She pulled away from him. Now the decision was finally taken.
‘How did you find me?’ she asked.
‘I was on the train, with the police.’
‘And you told them about me.’
‘I had to. I had no choice. They beat me up.’
She faced him, almost laughing. ‘I don’t think so. Don’t insult my intelligence, Bruno. You did that in the past, but not now. You planted that picture on me, and then betrayed me.’
He sighed and abandoned his first strategy.
‘Only because you were stupid about everything,’ he said, exasperated. ‘None of this was my fault.’
Nothing would ever be his fault, she realised. All that mattered to him was himself, his own needs and feelings.