Alex felt as though she were moving through a nightmare. She should have silenced him but shock had held her transfixed.
In the silence, Gino took her hand and slipped the ring onto it.
Alex stared at the ring, her eyes full of tears as she thought how she must hurt him. How had she let this take her by surprise? she thought wretchedly.
But she knew the answer. Rinaldo had filled her thoughts to the exclusion of all else. Gino had existed only on the periphery.
Gino was still smiling up at her, not yet understanding her silence. Behind him she could see Rinaldo, his face pale and shocked. Imperceptibly she shook her head at him. What had to be done, she must do alone.
‘Gino,’ she said hesitantly. ‘Please get up. Don’t let’s talk about this now.’
‘What is there to talk about, darling?’ he asked softly, rising to his feet and looking at her with eyes full of love.
‘No,’ she said, removing the ring and putting it back into his hand. ‘Gino, I’m sorry-I can’t-’
She saw the joy and certainty drain out of his face, leaving behind not disillusion but bafflement. He’d convinced himself of her feelings, and now couldn’t believe otherwise.
Alex pulled herself together. ‘Come with me,’ she said, seizing his hand and drawing him away from the crowd.
Cheers followed them. Only a few heard had heard their exchange. The others saw them as lovers who wanted to be alone.
Gino thought so too, for as soon as they were through the trees he tried to take her into his arms.
‘I’m sorry
‘Gino-’
‘I know you’ll forgive me when I tell you how much I love you. But surely you already know that?’
‘No-no, I didn’t. At first you seemed to be playing at flirtation, and since I came back from England you’ve stayed away from me.’
‘I’ve hardly done that, but I’ve tried to show respect for your feelings. I knew how the breakup with your fiance must have hurt you, and that you’d need time to get over him. I’m not an insensitive oaf, darling.’
‘No, you’re not,’ she said. ‘You’re a sweet, kind boy-’
‘I’m not a boy,’ Gino said firmly. ‘I may look like one sometimes next to Rinaldo, because I think he was born old. But I’m man enough to know that I love you with my whole heart and soul, enough to wait for you to be ready. Darling, must I wait longer? You know now how much I love you? Can’t you love me now?’
‘Oh, no,’ she said softly, already in pain for him. ‘Gino, I didn’t understand, you always made such a joke of it.’
‘Yes, I did in the beginning. I don’t think I fully realised what my feelings were until you went away. It was unbearable without you, and I began to understand how deep it went with me. If you hadn’t come back when you did, I would have followed you to England.’
She gave a gasp as she heard those words, so similar to the ones Rinaldo had spoken.
‘I’d have followed you because I knew you were the one,’ Gino said, ‘the only one, different from every other woman I’ve fooled around with and loved for five minutes. It’s not five minutes this time, but all my life and beyond-’
‘No!’ she cried, distraught. ‘Don’t say that. It mustn’t be true. It can’t be.’
A shadow crossed his face. ‘Why can’t it be true?’
‘Because I’m not in love with you.’
He looked at her, almost as though the words conveyed no meaning to him.
‘You’re still in love with that man in England,’ he said at last. ‘I spoke too soon.’
‘No, no, it’s not him, it’s-’
But she checked herself. This was no time to tell him about Rinaldo. Not here and now, in the middle of a party.
‘Please don’t say any more,’ she begged. ‘We’ll talk about it later.’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Later. I did it the wrong way, didn’t I? I rushed you. I can wait.’
He gave her a brief smile and walked away back to the party.
She watched him, bitterly blaming herself for not seeing this coming. It was as Gino had said. He was no longer a boy but a man, with a sensitivity to her feelings that she had not suspected. It had misled her into thinking he didn’t care.
As if to prove his new-found maturity Gino did not storm off alone, or sulk, but became the life and soul of the party. He danced every dance, flirted without end, and generally exerted himself to make things go with a swing.
The general opinion among the guests was that he must have attained his heart’s desire, because he presented the picture of a supremely happy man. Only a few people noticed that he and Alex never went near each other for the rest of the evening.
At last the guests began to drift away. There were crowing goodbyes, songs yodelled up to the moon, and an air of happy satiety.
‘Where’s Gino?’ Rinaldo asked Alex when they were alone.
‘I last saw him half an hour ago. Oh, Rinaldo-’
‘I know. It’s terrible. He’ll understand in the end, but he’s bound to be sore after he declared himself so openly, in front of all those people.’
‘He’s been marvellous since then,’ Alex observed. ‘It must have been very difficult for him to be so bright and cheerful after what I said to him.’
‘How much did you say?’
‘Only that I didn’t love him. It wasn’t the right time to tell him the rest.’
She approached Teresa who was clearing away with the girls, and gave them some help. Later she found Rinaldo.
‘Teresa says she saw Gino driving away,’ she said.
‘I guess he wants to think for a while. He’ll feel better afterward.’
But despite his confident words he stood on the porch for half an hour, staring into the darkness.
‘Don’t let him come back and find you watching out for him,’ Alex suggested gently. ‘He’s not a kid any more.’
‘You’re right. I can’t get out of the habit of thinking of myself as a kind of second father. I’ll have to now, won’t I? But it’s going to be hard, telling him.’
‘Do you think perhaps-we shouldn’t?’ she asked unhappily.
But he shook his head.
‘I can’t give you up for any reason. Not just because I love you, but because you’re necessary to me, as air and water are necessary. I love my brother, but even for him I can’t do without you. Come inside with me now, for I need, very much, to be alone with you.’
In the darkness they climbed the stairs. Almost before they reached the top she was in his arms, kissing and being kissed with a determined purpose that thrilled her.
Rinaldo put out his hand and opened the first door he came to, which was his own room.
‘I can’t wait to get to yours,’ he murmured, drawing her inside and shutting the door. He was already removing her clothes with urgent hands.
She helped him, stripping him even as he stripped her until they lay on the bed together and he took her into his arms for a long kiss that was part affirmation, part exploration. She loved this moment, when his tongue teased the inside of her mouth, rousing her gently and expertly to the pitch of desire that only he could create.
When he withdrew his mouth she could see that his face held the brooding expression that excited her so much. His great hand drifted over her breasts, enclosed one, caressing it with subtlety so that she was flooded with warmth.
For this above all she loved him, for revealing her own sensuality to her, showing her that the woman of desks and good order was only one facet, and not the truest one. The real Alex was a woman who lived for the primitive force that united them, and could relinquish herself totally to the man she loved.
For so harsh a man Rinaldo was an unexpectedly gentle and skilful lover. He waited for her to be ready, but he
