with the living.
Could it be true? Was Brigitta there now, gazing at him across the waters, drawing him back, crying that he was hers alone and they should be together for all eternity?
‘You don’t have to tell her anything about me,’ she said. ‘She knows that I love you, just as she does. And, because of that love, she forgives you. Don’t forget that where she is now, she understands everything she didn’t understand before and she wants your suffering to end.’
It touched her heart to see the relief that came into his face, as though anything said by herself could be trusted, however strange or outrageous it might sound to anyone else.
They walked slowly back into the house and upstairs. Now he kissed her softly, almost tentatively, letting her know that this was different from any other time. They had crossed a boundary of love and trust, and the way ahead was changed for ever.
‘Mine,’ he whispered, ‘all mine.’
‘Yours as long as you want me,’ she whispered back.
‘That will be for ever.’
‘And are you mine?’ she asked.
‘I think I’ve been yours since the first moment. In my heart I always knew. It just took this long to admit it.’
They lay down, holding each other, touching gently, eager to explore yet unwilling to hurry. Taking their time was a tribute that they owed to each other and they paid it in full. He sought the places where her bruises had been worst, laying his lips over them in care and comfort.
‘I’m fine now,’ she said. ‘You’ve looked after me so well.’
‘And I always will,’ he vowed.
His fingers played in a leisurely way over her breasts, first one, then the other, almost as if he were discovering them for the first time, wondering at their beauty. At last he laid his face against them and she felt his tongue, softly caressing. Tremors went through her. New life invaded her body.
She began to run her own hands over him, exploring and teasing him, rejoicing at the suppressed groan that came from him.
‘You do your magic,’ he breathed. ‘Where does it come from? Are you one of the sirens?’
‘Do you want me to be?’
‘Only for me. No other man must hear that siren-song. And I must hear it for ever.’
She turned, pressing him gently onto his back and lying across him so that her peaked nipples brushed him lightly.
‘But they did hear it for ever,’ she said, inviting him further into the fantasy. ‘Those doomed sailors knew it would be the last sound they ever heard. Did they follow it willingly?’
This was the question he’d asked himself many times but always in solitude. Now, in her arms, he knew the answer.
‘Willingly,’ he agreed, ‘because at the last nothing else mattered. Nothing else-ever-but to follow that song wherever it led.’
She smiled down at him. ‘An adventurous man,’ she mused. ‘That’s what I like. I’m going to take you to such places-where no one’s ever been before-’
‘Wherever it leads,’ he murmured. ‘As long as it leads us together.’
When he turned again to bring her beneath him she went gladly, opening for him in warmth and welcome, feeling herself become complete, and then complete again as they climaxed together.
‘No,’ she begged as it ended. ‘Don’t leave me.’
‘I shall never leave you,’ he said, changing her meaning. ‘My body will never leave you and nor will my heart. I’m yours. Do you understand that? Yours for always.’
‘My darling-’
‘I wish I could find the words to tell you what it means to me to have found someone I need never doubt. It’s more than happiness. It’s like being set free.’
‘Dearest, be careful,’ she said worriedly. ‘I’m human, not perfect.’
‘Rubbish, you
‘I’ll never knowingly betray you, but I might make some silly human mistake. Please, please don’t think me better than I am, in case you end up thinking me worse than I am.’
‘It wouldn’t be possible to think you better than you are,’ he said. ‘You are perfect. You are honest and true, and divinely inspired to be the one person on earth who can keep me safe and happy.’
There was no middle way with this man, she realised. It was all or nothing, with no reservations. The heartfelt simplicity with which he placed himself and his fate in her hands made her want to weep. And silently she prayed that he might never be disappointed in her, for she knew it would destroy him.
CHAPTER TEN
LYSANDROS awoke in the darkness to find Petra watching him.
‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘Something on your mind? Tell me.’ When she still hesitated he sat up and slipped an arm around her. ‘Tell me,’ he repeated. ‘You’ve always wanted me to talk, but how often do you confide in me?’
When she didn’t answer he said, ‘It has to work each way, you know. If you don’t honour me with your confidence, what am I to think?’
‘All right, I will,’ she said slowly.
‘But it’s hard, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, because I’ve never really explained it before. There was nobody to explain to. You asked me if I was yours. In fact I’m yours more than you know.’
He thought for a moment. ‘You mean something special by that, don’t you?’
‘Yes. There are things I couldn’t tell you because they might have been a burden on you.’
‘You? A burden? That isn’t possible.’
‘If you knew how much I depend on you, you might find it a weight.’
‘Now you’re humouring me. Isn’t it me clinging to you because I find in you what I can find in nobody else?’
‘I hope you do, but it’s mutual and I couldn’t admit that before. But, since we’ve found each other, maybe I can.’
He touched her chin, turning it gently towards him so that he could regard her intently. Now she had all his attention. Something in her voice told him this was vital.
‘You’re the first person I’ve ever really mattered to,’ she said simply.
‘Your mother-’
‘Estelle’s a darling but I’ve never figured high on her list of priorities. She’d have loved a pet cat just as much. She’s always been dashing off here and there, leaving me with other people, and I didn’t mind because the other people were my grandparents and I loved them. But that was pure luck. If we hadn’t been lucky enough to have found them, I sometimes wonder what she’d have done.
‘My grandparents loved me, but each came first with the other. That’s as it should be, but when she died I knew he wouldn’t be long following.’
‘There must have been men who wanted you,’ he observed.
‘Well, they wanted something. Maybe it was me, maybe it was what I brought with me-money, a glamorous background. It left me rather cynical, and I kind of hoisted the cynicism into place as a defence, rather like Achilles kept his shield at the ready.’
He nodded. ‘And when you do that, there are always some people who only see the shield.’
‘Yes, you know about that, don’t you?’ She gave a wry smile. ‘We’re not so different, you and I. Your defence is glaring at people, mine is laughter and pretending never to mind about anything.’
