The Italian’s Baby

you that none of them will be as sacred as those I make to you now. I promise you that my heart, my love and my whole life belong to you, and always will.’

He spoke like a man uttering a prayer.

‘Do you understand?’ he urged. ‘Whether my life be long or short, every moment of it will be spent in your service.’

He laid his hand gently over her bulge.

‘And you, little one-you too I will love and protect in every way. You will be safe and happy, because your mama and papa love you.’

Becky tried to answer him, but no words would come through her tears.

‘Oh, Luca,’ she managed to say at last, ‘if I could only tell you-’

‘Hush, carissima. You do not need to tell me what I see in your eyes.’

He took her face between his hands and looked down at her searchingly.

‘You will always be to me as you are at this moment,’ he whispered before kissing her with heart-stopping gentleness.

She slept in his arms that night, and awoke to his kiss in the early morning. He was going to work sooner than usual, so that he could come home early to help with last-minute preparations for their wedding.

Becky spent the day tidying the house, and making sure they had enough food and wine for their friends. She was just putting the kettle on for a much needed cup of tea when the doorbell rang.

It was almost a relief to find Frank standing there. She felt safer now, because surely her bulge would make him accept the inevitable?

‘Hello, Dad.’

‘Hello, Becky. Can I come in?’

He entered without seeming to notice her shape. He had a gift for not noticing what didn’t suit him.

‘You’re on your own, I see. Got tired of you already, has he?’

‘Dad, it’s three in the afternoon. He’s at work, but he’ll be home any minute.’

‘So you say.’

She’d known then that it wasn’t going to be easy after all. But she tried.

‘It’s nice to see you-’

‘Yes, I expect you’re fed up with all this.’

‘No, I’m not. This is my life. Look around you at all this food and wine. It’s for our wedding reception tomorrow.’

He shot her a sharp look.

‘So you’re not married? Good, then I’m in time.’

‘I’m having Luca’s baby, and I’m going to marry him,’ she said firmly. ‘Won’t you come to the wedding and drink our health, and be our friend?’

He looked down at her with an expression that might have been tenderness.

‘Darling, you’re living in a dream world. Trust me, I know what’s best for you. He’s deluded you.’

‘Dad-’

‘But I’m here to make it right. Just let me take care of you. Everything will be fine as soon as we’re home.’

‘This is my home.’

‘This-this hovel? You think I’m leaving you here? Stop arguing and come on.’

Abruptly he dropped the pretence of kindness, and seized her arm. She shrieked. Luca, approaching the house, heard her and rushed the rest of the way, flinging open the door to find them struggling.

‘Let her go,’ he roared.

‘Get out of my way,’ Frank snapped.

Luca stood there, barring the door. ‘I said let her go.’

Frank ignored him, trying to drag her towards the back door by sheer force. Becky struggled as hard as she could, but her size made it difficult.

With a curse Luca strode forward and placed one powerful hand on Frank’s arm.

‘Don’t dare touch her,’ he said, and there was the same menace in his eyes that she had seen before, when they had first met.

‘I’m taking her home,’ Frank repeated.

Luca’s voice was infused with contempt.

‘You are not only a bully but a deeply stupid man. Only a cretino would do this, knowing that he was threatening the well-being of the child she carries.’

Frank’s answer was to try again to drag Becky away. Luca did not move, but his hand, grasping the other man’s arm, was impossible to dislodge.

‘Luca, don’t let him take me,’ she begged.

That sent Frank over the edge, and he began to rant and rave. Luca said nothing, merely standing silent and immovable. Perhaps it was that quiet dignity that infuriated Frank most, for he shoved Becky aside to contend with Luca.

Then the nightmare started. Heaving with distress, Becky suddenly found the world retreating and returning alarmingly. Everything seemed to spin around, culminating in a feeling of knives searing through her.

She screamed and doubled over as agony engulfed her like a furnace. The sound got through to the two men, halting their fight, although even then Frank had to put himself centre stage. Her last clear sight was of him shouldering his way ahead of Luca to lean over her.

But it was Luca she wanted. She reached out, calling his name, but Frank was there, leaning close, grasping her tightly, imprisoning her, blocking out everything but himself.

‘Luca,’ she screamed. ‘Luca!’

But suddenly he vanished. She never saw him again.

An ambulance came to whisk her off to hospital. Her daughter was born quickly and died within a few hours.

When the physical pain ceased there was another pain waiting, in her mind. Fire turned to ice as a merciless darkness enclosed her. The only thing she knew for sure was that she called repeatedly for Luca, but he was never there.

How could he not be there? His daughter had been born, and had died without his ever holding her in his arms. He had promised to love and protect her, but he hadn’t been there when she needed him.

‘She was so little and helpless,’ she whispered into the void. ‘She needed her father.’

But he did not hear. The darkness had swallowed him up.

Scenes changed about her. Somehow she knew that she was back in England, and living in a new place, a large, pleasant house where there were people in white coats and everyone spoke in kindly voices.

Sometimes the voices were brisk and hearty. ‘How are we feeling today? A little better? That’s good.’

She never answered, but they didn’t seem to mind. They treated her like a doll, brushing her hair and talking about her as though she wasn’t there.

‘There’s no way of knowing how long she’ll be like this, Mr Solway. She has profound post-natal depression, aggravated by terrible inner wounds, and they need time to heal.’

She never reminded them that she was a living being with thoughts and feelings, because she no longer felt like one. It was easier this way because they didn’t expect her to respond, and the soul-deep exhaustion that possessed her made answering seem like climbing a mountain.

Often the words she heard were a meaningless jabber, but one day the world righted itself and she began to hear and see it normally. Frank was in the middle of one of his monologues, and the words made sense.

‘…Not easy coming back to England-wrong time of the financial year-left me with a hefty tax bill, but I said only the best was good enough for my girl. And this place is the best. Oh, yes, no skimping.’

‘Where is he? Where’s Luca? Why doesn’t he come to see me?’

‘Because he’s gone, for good. I bought him off.’

She turned her head slowly and stared at him with a look that made even that thick-skinned man flinch.

‘What do you mean?’ Even to her own ears her voice sounded dead and metallic.

‘I mean I bought him off. He demanded money to go away and never trouble you again.’