before he ever came to England? Why wait until then?’
‘Perhaps you needed to see him to be sure?’ Pietro suggested.
‘And when I saw him in the restaurant that night I decided against him? But instead I remember how close we were. So I’m imagining that? I’m delusional? Well, there you are. I must be madder than I thought.’
‘I told you not to call yourself mad.’
‘Well, don’t tell me! If I want to abuse myself, I will. Who has a better right?’
He didn’t make the mistake of answering, but looked at her wryly until she calmed down and gave a little laugh, aimed at herself.
‘I warned you it would be tough,’ she said.
‘I can take it,’ he assured her.
‘Which version do you believe?’ she challenged. ‘His or mine?’
‘We both know he didn’t always stick to the truth. Look at this.’
He took out the photo albums and went through pages until he found the picture he wanted her to see. It showed Gino with a middle-aged woman. She was wearing an apron, and was busy in a kitchen.
‘That was his mother,’ Pietro said.
Ruth said nothing for a moment, then, ‘Did she work here?’
‘Yes, she was our cook for several years. That’s how it happened that he grew up here.’
‘So he’s not your cousin, not a Bagnelli?’
‘No, I’m afraid that was one of his fantasies.’
‘But I don’t understand. I thought you were both descended from the same Doge.’
‘That’s true, but Doges were elected. It wasn’t a hereditary position. There were over a hundred of them, from different families. Almost every true Venetian is descended from one Doge or another.’
‘But being a Bagnelli was another of his “fantasies”. Or shall we call them lies? When was he going to tell me the truth-if ever? Perhaps Gino himself was an illusion.’ She gave a laugh that was almost bitter. ‘Maybe he was just a hologram, and if I stretched out my hand it might have gone right through him.’
‘I think you’ve summed him up fairly well,’ Pietro said grimly. ‘Perhaps it’s useful that you’re beginning to see him more clearly.’
‘But it doesn’t change anything. I still need his help, even if I don’t-’
‘Don’t what?’ he asked. When she didn’t reply he said tensely, ‘Do you still love him? Ruth, try to tell me.’
CHAPTER FOUR
‘TELL me,’ Pietro urged again. ‘I know you’re trying to be very realistic about everything, but sometimes feelings aren’t realistic. After all that’s happened-is it possible that you still love him?’
He checked himself, sensing that his voice sounded too intent. Emotional pressure was bad for Ruth. He must try to remember.
‘
‘Treated me how? That’s what I don’t know.’
‘He didn’t stick around, you know that.’
‘But maybe I told him not to, like he said.’
‘Maybe.’ He didn’t sound convinced. ‘But what do you feel now?’
She shook her head helplessly.
‘How can I tell “then” and “now” apart? I remember how totally I loved him then.’
‘And you feel that love now?’
‘Yes-no-maybe, but it’s really just another hologram. Press a switch and it would probably vanish. Oh, hell! What’s the point of talking? I’ve got to discover the reality and look it in the eye.’ She smiled with a hint of mischief that disturbed his heart. ‘Maybe then I’ll
‘Reality may hit you harder than you imagine.’
‘Then I’ll hit back harder still. You don’t think I’m going to be beaten by a bit of reality, do you? That to it!’ She snapped her fingers.
‘Have you ever let anything get the better of you?’ he asked, honestly curious.
Making a face full of wicked glee, she replied, ‘I don’t know. I can’t remember.’
She gave a crow of amusement and he joined in, regarding her with admiration. But as his laughter faded hers went on, and there was a note in it that alarmed him.
‘Ruth, it’s not that funny,’ he said gently.
‘Yes, it is, it’s hilarious. It’s the funniest thing that ever happened. Can’t you see that?’
‘No,’ he said, gathering her shaking body into his arms. ‘I can see a great many things. You’d be surprised how much I can see. But I can’t see that.’
He held her tight, feeling her shaking intensify until he thought her laughter would change into tears. But something else happened. Suddenly she stopped shaking and he felt her shoulders stiffen. Gently but firmly she drew away and disengaged herself, saying in a changed voice, ‘OK, I’ve decided.’
‘Why does that scare me?’ he asked, trying to make light of it.
‘I’m not going to go on like this, living off your charity and wondering if Gino’s going to come home, and if he does, will he help me. That’s just leaving your fate in someone else’s hands, and nuts to it.’
‘Good. Keep going.’
‘I’m going to get a job, find somewhere to live, make my own way. If Gino comes back, he does. If he doesn’t, I’ll get on with life some other way.’
‘Fine. While you look for a job you can work for me for a while.’
‘I said no charity.’
‘Will you stop bristling like a hedgehog? You’d be doing me a favour. My other assistant didn’t come in today. She’s pregnant and having a hard time. If you’ll come in for a few weeks I can give her a leave of absence. She’ll get the rest she needs, I’ll get your language expertise, and everyone’s satisfied.’
She thought for a minute.
‘And I’ll pay you rent?’
‘I don’t need-’
‘It’s that or nothing.’
Where did she get the gall to make terms with him? he wondered.
‘All right, we’ll do it your way.’ He added lightly, ‘And I’ll wager that’s something you’re used to as well.’
She smiled. ‘Who knows?’ she said.
‘I have a feeling it’s going to be interesting finding out.’
When Ruth had gone to bed he sat by the window, looking out at the water, wondering if it had really only been two days since she’d come storming into his life, half drowned, half mad-as she would have put it-totally undefeated. Already it felt like a different universe.
The door opened and Minna looked in.
‘Do you want me for anything, signore?’
‘No, thank you, Minna. We’ve done the dishes.’
‘I keep asking you not to do that. It’s my job.’
‘Ruth insisted. You can’t argue with her.’
Minna gave him the motherly smile of someone who had worked for his family all her life, and had assumed possessive rights.
‘I’m so glad,’ she said. ‘It’s about time.’
‘No,’ he said hastily. ‘Minna, it’s not like that.’
‘Of course it isn’t. I don’t mean that at all.’
‘Then what?’
‘I came in earlier, and as I passed this door I heard you laughing.’
