No woman found the world beautiful because he was in it, and the knowledge broke his heart. Now he was reaching out blindly to her in his need, and she responded with her own need.
For she was as vulnerable as he. Bess had said she was too armoured, implying that if she didn’t soon give a man her heart-all of it, with nothing held back-Lizzie was in danger of becoming hard. Her head told her that Daniel could never be the right man. She’d meant only to entice him into letting her win their duel of wits, but suddenly everything was different. She ached for him. She longed to ease his sadness, and everything went down before that. All self forgotten, caring only for him, she put her arms about him.
His own arms went about her at once, and they stood together in a long, close embrace. At first he didn’t try to kiss her, but buried his face against her as though finding there some long sought refuge.
‘Lizzie,’ he whispered, then again, ‘Lizzie, Lizzie…’ Just her name repeated over and over, as though the very sound was a spell to ward off evil.
It was sweet to hold him, feeling the warmth of his body mingle with her own, and for the moment that was all she asked. Then she felt the change that came over him as his lips found her neck and began to bestow soft kisses. She sighed with pleasure and began to wreathe her fingers in his hair, turning her neck this way and that to tempt his mouth.
Lower the trail went, down her neck to her almost exposed breasts in the low-cut nightdress, lower still, lower, and every fibre of her being was crying yes. She would be cautious another time. This was the man she wanted.
He raised his head. She could feel him trembling. ‘You make it very hard to remember that I’m a man of honour,’ he growled.
‘Perhaps you remember that too often. Is being a man of honour so important?’
‘It has to be-it must be-’ he said, as if trying to convince himself. He took her face between his hands, speaking softly and with sincerity. ‘Lizzie, will you believe me? I didn’t come here tonight meaning this to happen.’
‘Yes, I believe you.’ It was true. Beneath the regimented exterior was a man who could be impulsive. ‘It doesn’t matter. Don’t plan everything. Let things happen to you. It’ll be all right. Trust me-trust me-’
And then she felt him freeze suddenly.
‘What did you say?’ he asked in a strange voice.
‘Trust me.’ She kissed him playfully. ‘Don’t you think you could trust me now?’
Bewildered, she knew that a change had come over him. He almost snatched his hand out of hers.
‘It isn’t that,’ he said, sounding as though he spoke with difficulty. ‘But I-I really shouldn’t be here. This isn’t right.’
‘I see.’ Her eyes flashed. ‘Then you don’t trust me. How stupid of me to forget.’
‘Lizzie, please, it isn’t that. It’s just that I-I can’t explain.’
‘Or you don’t need to. You lured me here as an enemy, and I’m still an enemy, aren’t I? What a pity you confided so much to me tonight. And me a historian! Who knows who I’ll tell? Or what indiscreet notes I might make.’
He was pale. ‘Will you?’
‘Of course not.
‘I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what came over me-at least, I can’t explain-’
‘I think you already have.’
His tone became more distant. ‘There’s still a lot we don’t know about each other, and perhaps we should both be careful.’
She matched his distant tone with one of her own. ‘I think Your Majesty had better leave.’
‘Yes, perhaps I should.’
He gave her a small, correct little bow, and went out through the secret door.
She hurried after him and slammed the bolts shut. Then she leaned against the door, resisting the impulse to call him back.
The next morning Frederick brought her a large bag containing the rest of Liz’s letters, explaining that he was acting on the King’s instructions. His Majesty had left the palace unexpectedly to visit Helmand, his private estate a hundred miles away, and would be gone for some time.
After that she lived in limbo. She didn’t know how long Daniel would be away, or whether he meant her to leave before he returned. She only knew that she was furious with him, insulted by him, and yearned for him.
The letters were a goldmine, but a frustrating one. Liz must surely be Dame Elizabeth, since the pattern of her life seemed to follow the Dame’s so exactly. But although there were a thousand hints, there was still no certainty.
The more she read the more she longed for Daniel to be there. There was such love in these pages, and with every passing day she felt an affinity with the writer. ‘Liz’ had seen an aching need beneath Alphonse’s forbidding exterior that had called forth her love and protectiveness. That was their secret. In the world’s eyes he was a man of power, but it was she who had protected him.
Daniel was Daniel and not Alphonse, and history never actually repeated itself. But he’d been moulded by the same conditions as his grandfather and left emotionally adrift in the
same way. And she knew now that something in him had called to her from the first moment.
Several times she rode with the children. They seemed to like her, and she found them increasingly easy to talk to. Even Sandor’s quicksilver temper was controlled in her presence, Elsa was showing signs of a pretty wit, and Felix was beginning to come out of his shell.
They were walking through the woods one afternoon, with Sandor telling them all a funny story, when a sound made them all look up. Daniel was walking through the trees. He wore an informal opennecked shirt, and had something in his arms that squealed and squirmed. Closer inspection revealed it to be three puppies, each about eight weeks.
‘A bitch whelped in the Helmand stables a while back,’ he said. ‘Here you are. One each. Now, be off with you.’
Shouting joyfully, the children took charge of the wriggling bundles, and scampered away.
Daniel stood looking at Lizzie. She hadn’t taken her eyes from him since the first moment. Nor had she been able to move. But suddenly movement returned to her. He opened his arms and she threw herself into them.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said between kisses. ‘I went away from you, but it did no good. You came with me. You’ve been with me all the while. You won’t go away.’
It was the same with her, and she knew he understood her without words.
‘You’re in my heart for always,’ he said. ‘At first I thought you might leave while I was gone, and it would be better for both of us if you did. But this morning I awoke in the early hours and I was so afraid in case you’d left that I had to come home. Kiss me,
She responded wholeheartedly, throwing her arms about his neck and giving herself up to the sensation of loving and being loved.
‘I’ve so much to say to you, Lizzie, and you-have you nothing to say to me?’
‘Oh, yes, so much.’ She took his hand and began to draw him deeper into the wood.
But when he took her in his arms again she discovered that there was nothing to say, or at least nothing that couldn’t wait. They clung together like people who’d narrowly avoided falling into an abyss.
A giggle from nearby made them both swing around quickly.
‘What are you three-?’ Daniel began to yell. Then the urgent pressure of Lizzie’s hands checked him. ‘I thought you’d gone,’ he said, sounding resigned.
‘We’re sorry, sir,’ Felix said quickly. His laugh had faded and he looked anxious.
‘You’re not annoyed, are you?’ Lizzie muttered, so softly that only he could hear.
‘No, I’m not annoyed.’ Something about their tense faces seemed to get through to him because he added quickly, ‘I’m not angry. Really.’
They visibly relaxed and the smiles began to creep back to their faces, but cautiously, as though ready to vanish again in an instant.
‘We came back to say thank you for the puppies,’ Sandor said.
‘Have fun with them. But you look after them yourselves. You feed them, clean up after them.’
Sandor frowned. ‘But there are servants-’
‘No servants,
