His answer shattered her.
‘I don’t want to see him.’
‘What?’
‘I want nothing to do with him,’ he growled. ‘Why didn’t you leave well alone?’
‘Because Matthew is your son, and he needs a family.’
‘He has you.’
‘I’m not his parent. You are. Don’t you even want to see him?’
‘Is there any reason why I should?’ he asked, almost brutally.
‘A few hours ago you were saying I should have come here sooner.’
‘Yes, when she was alive. I could have been with her. But this child is a stranger. I can’t feel it’s part of me.’
‘He was part of her,’ Polly said quietly. ‘Doesn’t that mean anything?’
‘It might have done if she’d wanted me to know about it.’
‘Will you stop talking about “it”?’ Polly demanded, becoming annoyed. ‘Matthew is a he. He’s a baby. He needs love and care-’
‘If he’s mine, I’ll support him.’
‘Money?’ she snapped. ‘Do you really think that’s all there is to being a father?’
‘I don’t feel like a father. This is the best I can do.’
‘Then it’s not good enough,’ she retorted.
‘Do you think a father’s love can be turned on and off at the press of a switch?’ he demanded, equally angry. ‘Or any other kind of love?’
‘No, of course it can’t. But you can turn the love you used to feel to account now. You can’t give your love to her, so give it to the child you share.’
‘Share? Did she share him with me? If she hadn’t died I’d have known nothing.’
‘But she did die, so why not be gentle with her memory? She can’t hurt you now.’
‘Can’t-?’ He stared at her in sheer outrage before saying, with soft vehemence, ‘The dead can hurt you more than the living, because things can’t be put right. You can’t go back and explain, or apologise, or say the healing words, and the wounds stay open for ever. How can I be gentle with her memory when what she did to me will never end?’
‘She gave you a child,’ Polly said. ‘Whatever she intended, that’s what happened. Matthew’s alive, and he carries part of you in him.’
He didn’t answer for a while, but at last he said, ‘Who does he look like?’
She took out a picture and handed it to him. It showed a toddler of eighteen months, with Ruggiero’s colouring, dark, sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.
How could anyone resist this little charmer? she thought. But after a glance he handed it back.
‘I can’t take him,’ he said. ‘But of course I’ll support him-and I’ll support you while you care for him.’
‘Excuse me-I’m not looking for a job as a hired nanny.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that. It wouldn’t just be wages; it would be a generous income. You could live comfortably.’
‘Oh, really? So you think using cash to avoid your responsibilities is fine as long as the gesture is big enough?’
‘I didn’t mean-Look, he already knows you. He’d probably rather stay with you.’
‘And how about what I’d rather? I’m a trained nurse, and I’d like to starting working again.’
She was making it up as she went along. She adored little Matthew, and part of her longed to keep him. If she hadn’t liked what she found in Naples she would have left without revealing his existence.
But she did like it. The Rinuccis fitted her inner picture of the perfect family-riotous and colourful, with plenty of love and laughter to go around.
Ruggiero himself would need a little work to improve him, she thought, but in the meantime she would entrust Matthew to Hope and Toni without a qualm. And with all those uncles, aunts and cousins life would be happier for the little boy than in the narrow existence he would find with her.
‘How can you reject him?’ she demanded, indicating the picture. ‘He’s your flesh and blood.’
‘For Pete’s sake,’ he snapped. ‘You spring this on me and expect me to press a button and have all the right reactions. Just what is the right reaction to a son I never knew I had from a woman who didn’t even tell me her real name?’
‘Don’t you feel anything for him?’
‘No,’ he said after a moment. ‘Nothing.’
It wasn’t true, she guessed. He was in pain. In trying to numb that, he had numbed every other feeling.
‘I’d like you to think about keeping him,’ he said. ‘On the terms we discussed.’
‘We did not discuss anything,’ she said, her temper mounting again. ‘You laid down your requirements and expected me to fall into line.’
‘Just think about it.’
‘No!’
‘Why the hell not?’
‘Because my fiance would never agree.’
‘What?’
‘The man I’m engaged to marry doesn’t want a child that isn’t ours,’ she said deliberately.
‘You didn’t mention an engagement before.’
‘There was no need. It’s no concern of yours. I came here because little Matthew has a right to his family, but when I’ve seen him settled I’m returning to my own life.’
He rose. ‘I’m going. I need to think about this.’
He moved swiftly towards the door, but when he’d opened it he halted, transfixed.
‘Good morning,’ said a sweet voice.
Hope was standing there in her dressing gown.
‘Mamma, what are you doing here?’
‘I came to see why you two are making so much noise. Normally, of course, I wouldn’t enquire. It would be indelicate-’
‘Mamma!’
‘Don’t be a prude, my son. It doesn’t suit you. Polly, please tell me what has happened.’
‘I think Ruggiero had better tell you.’
‘If one of you doesn’t tell me something soon I shall get cross.’
Ruggiero handed her the picture of Matthew.
‘I knew his mother briefly a little more than two years ago in England,’ he said, in a flat voice, blank of emotion. ‘She never told me about him. Now she’s dead.’
‘She was my cousin,’ Polly supplied. ‘She wanted me to find Ruggiero after her death and tell him about his son.’
To her relief, Hope asked no awkward questions. She was entranced by the picture.
‘This little man is my grandson?’ she asked, in tones of wonder.
Polly gave the exact date of Matthew’s birth, and Ruggiero nodded.
‘Nine months,’ he said briefly.
Hope’s eyes were alight with fondness, just as Polly had hoped.
‘Such a little darling,’ she murmured. ‘Where is he now?’
‘In England,’ Polly told her. ‘Some friends of mine are caring for him while I’m here.’
‘How soon can we fetch him?’
‘Mamma!’
‘Your son no longer has a mother, but he has a father. Of course he belongs here.’
‘I think so too,’ Polly said. ‘I believe he’s a Rinucci. But of course it can be easily established with a test.’
Hope pulled a face. ‘No need. If he’s one of us I’ll know as soon as I hold him in my arms. I’ll book the flight to England at once. Polly, you will return here with me, won’t you? To help him settle in.’
‘Her fiance may object,’ Ruggiero observed.
