‘No,’ he muttered. ‘Not this time.’
He looked around the graveyard, searching in the poor light until he finally found what he was looking for. By now he was at the edge of the ground, with a clear view across the road, where a flower shop was just closing. Ruggiero sprinted across, just managed to get his hand in the door, and engaged in the most desperately important negotiation of his life.
It had taken a couple of days for Polly go around the old places-the home where she’d lived as a child, the second home when her aunt and uncle had taken her in, the school where she’d done so well, passing her exams with flying colours and helping Freda, whose skills had lain in another direction.
She would have liked to avoid Ranley Manor, but her route had happened to lie that way, so she’d hurried past. Even so she had been unlucky enough to see George handing a young woman into his chauffeured car.
She’d gone to see Freda within an hour of her arrival. She’d wanted to tell her cousin that she’d kept her promise. When she’d laid the violets on the grave she’d said, ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’
Next day she’d brought lilies to replace the violets. She had stayed for a while, talking about Matti.
‘He’ll be all right, I promise,’ she’d said. ‘You were right to send him to Ruggiero. He’s going to be a great father. I’m going tomorrow, but I’ll be back here before I go-just once more.’
She was keeping her promise, bearing more flowers, but as she ran the last few steps to lay them down she stopped suddenly and stared.
The grave was covered in buttercups, glorious brilliant yellow and gold buttercups, flaunting their rich, extravagant beauty to the world.
Looking around her, she saw that not a buttercup was left growing in the grass. Someone had determinedly plucked every last one to lay them here in a silent message.
Then she saw that the yellow flowers were not alone. A corner of the grave was given up to tea roses.
And she was back again in the little restaurant in Naples, talking about flowers and their meaning.
Tea roses-in peaceful memory. All passion spent. All forgiven and only the best remembered.
But it was the buttercups that lay in joyous profusion, carrying their message of love, acceptance, freedom to go on living and loving.
Ruggiero appeared so suddenly that she guessed he’d been waiting for her. He was unshaven and his suit was creased, as though he’d been sleeping on the ground, and his eyes were full of a troubled question.
But before he could ask the question she answered it, opening her arms so that he ran to her at once, his own arms flung wide to seize her and draw her close.
‘Why did you leave me?’ he asked hoarsely. ‘Where have you been?’
‘I had to go,’ she cried, holding onto him. ‘I had to find out if what I was afraid of was true.’
He silenced her mouth with his own, and it was a long time before he could breathe enough to say, ‘You should have trusted me.’
‘It’s not that-I didn’t know how you really felt. I thought you might let me go and realise that it was for the best.’
‘How could it be best for me to lose you?’ he demanded passionately. But then a change came over him. He grew calmer and shook his head. ‘But you didn’t really think I’d let you go,’ he said. ‘You couldn’t have. In your heart you know everything there is between us. Don’t you?’
He was right, she realised. Some part of her had known that he would come after her because he loved her. Hearing it said now, she recognised the truth. He knew her better than she knew herself.
‘Everything,’ he repeated. ‘Now and always. It took us both a little time to see it, but it was always there.’
He drew her close again, not in a kiss, but in a wholehearted embrace, arms tight about each other, totally committed, nothing held back. For a long time neither of them moved or spoke There was a small commotion as a crowd of schoolchildren appeared and headed in their direction.
‘Come away,’ he said, drawing her towards the ancient little church.
They found privacy in the old wooden porch, where they could sit apart from the world, yet still able to see the flowers with their glowing promise of hope.
‘You look terrible,’ she said, touching his unshaven chin
‘I spent the night here. I couldn’t risk missing you. I only left for a few minutes, to get the roses I’d ordered from a shop across the road, but I got back fast. I’ve been waiting here, watching. I was so afraid you wouldn’t come back at all.’
‘I had to say a proper goodbye to her before I finally decided where I was going next.’
‘Back to Brian?’ he asked belligerently.
‘There’s no Brian, and you know that perfectly well.’
‘I just wanted to hear you say it,’ he growled, holding her tight, almost as if he was afraid ‘Brian’ would appear and snatch her away.
‘He was just a device to make you concentrate on Matti,’ she admitted. ‘But then I found him useful, helping me to keep everything impersonal. I didn’t want you to think of me as a woman. Or,’ she added, seeing his raised eyebrows and hint of a smile, ‘maybe I wanted it too much. One of the two. I couldn’t decide which. I thought he’d fade into the background, but you kept on about him.’
‘I was jealous as hell. I could have throttled him because you loved him. All the time I could feel us getting closer, and I didn’t know what to believe. When you left I thought you’d gone back to him.’
‘I didn’t just want to be a substitute for Freda, and I was afraid I’d never know if I was or not. I couldn’t live with second best. It has to be all or nothing.’
He nodded.
‘I thought we’d both have time to think, but when I reached England-’ she gave a shaky laugh ‘-a terrible thing happened. I had an attack of common sense.’
‘You should have known better. What has common sense to do with us?’
‘Everything seemed so clear. You had Matti, and you didn’t need me any more. I wanted to break completely with the past, so I gave up my flat and got out so that the new people could move in quickly. I’ve got a job offer at the hospital.’
‘I know. I was there.’
‘You went to the hospital?’
‘I saw the room where she died. I stood there and looked around, and all I could see was you. Wherever I am I see only you, and that’s how it will be-all my life. But I didn’t understand at first. The way we met-she was always between us. I lived in confusion for so long. If you hadn’t come I don’t know what would have happened to me. I was caught up in a kind of madness, and you released me. Now I’m free-truly free at last. It feels like starting life again.
‘Sapphire-’
‘Freda,’ he said at once. ‘There was no Sapphire.’ He saw her looking at him, and said, ‘But now I can be grateful to her. I can even love her memory for Matti’s sake.’
‘I’m glad of that,’ she said fervently. ‘Because one day you’ll bring him here-’
‘We’ll bring him together, and tell him about her.’
They were silent, thinking of that moment.
‘We might even bring our own children as well,’ he mused.
‘You’ve got it planned?’
‘Matti has. He wants brothers and sisters. He’s a Rinucci; he likes being part of a big family.’
She smiled tenderly and leaned her head against him.
‘He told you that, did he?’ she asked.
‘Sure he did. We understand each other perfectly these days. He also says that if I don’t bring you back with me I needn’t bother coming home. He was very plain about that-threw his cereal bowl against the wall.’
They laughed together for a moment, but then he took her hand and carried it to his lips.
‘Promise that this hand will always be in mine,’ he whispered.
‘Keeping you safe?’
‘No, leading me to the best of life. Even when you stopped me riding the bike you weren’t restraining me, just showing me a different way forward. We’ll go wherever the road winds, and as long as it’s you that takes me there I know it’ll be a good place.’
They walked back to the grave and stood for a moment, looking at the flowers-tea roses and buttercups-side by
