‘No-not really. But-you do have a disadvantage that other people don’t have-’
‘I also have advantages that other people don’t have. My memory is twice as good as yours, because I’ve trained it. I can hear things in people’s voices that you’d miss. I saved you a lot of money once by warning you that the man you were planning to do business with was untrustworthy. I could hear it in his voice. You were very lofty about that at the time. “You and your intuition!” you said. But at least you had the sense to listen to me and throw him out. He’s just started a two-year stretch for fraud, in case you didn’t know.’
‘Yes, I did. I was going to tell you, and say thank you. But I might have known you’d hear it first.’
‘Yes, you might. Perhaps I’m not as much at a disadvantage as you think.’
He sighed, and she could hear him pacing the room.
‘How did you know where to find me?’ she asked.
‘I remembered Ken from when we met him at that party. You talked to him for so long that I got jealous-until I realised it was his diving that fascinated you. You’ve called him several times since then, haven’t you?’
‘Yes, I have. It took time to set up today.’
‘I’m sure there must have been a lot of planning,’ he said in a bleak voice. ‘Booking the day, hiring the car to drive you down there, leaving the flat secretly, not telling me where you were going-that took some organising. When I found your note I checked up on Ken’s firm and discovered that you had a booking.’
‘So you jumped into your car and came down to tell me that I mustn’t dive because I didn’t have your permission?’ she said through gritted teeth.
‘Because it isn’t safe for you.’
‘It’s as safe for me as for anyone. I was on a line. Ken could have hauled me in at any time.’
‘You went behind my back,’ he said harshly.
The bitterness in his voice dulled the edge of her anger, reminding her how easy it was to hurt him. She didn’t want to hurt him, She wanted to love him as she’d done in their first carefree days; days that she knew would never come again.
‘You don’t give me any choice,’ she cried. ‘I had to do it without telling you because you’d have made such a fuss. You always do that if I try to do anything a little bit unusual.’
‘A little bit?’ he echoed. ‘You were scuba diving.’
‘Yes, and I managed perfectly well. As I knew I would. But you can’t bring yourself to believe that, can you? Sometimes I think you actually hate it when I manage to do something without you.’
‘For God’s sake, do you know what you’re saying?’
‘Yes, I’m saying I want to live my life as an adult, without having to apply to you for permission to take every breath.’
‘I’m only trying to keep you safe.’
‘I don’t
‘Aren’t you being a bit melodramatic?’ he demanded
‘Not from where I’m standing.’
‘Meaning that I’m a gaoler?’
‘The kindest, most loving gaoler in the world,’ she said, trying to soften it. ‘I know that you love me, and it’s your love that makes you overprotective, but I can’t live that way. I’ve got to get as far out on the edge as I can without you trying to drag me back.’
‘Drag you-Now you’re talking nonsense.’
‘Anything you disagree with is nonsense, according to you. I can’t live my life wondering if you’re standing there behind me, trying to bring everything to a halt.’
‘You don’t-’
‘Francesco, listen to me, please. The really sad thing about today is that I would have loved to share it with you. It would have been wonderful to go into the water together and sink down, hand in hand. I even came to the edge of telling you. But I backed off at the last minute because I knew you’d do everything to stop me.’
‘Because I don’t want to lose you,’ he growled.
‘But you
‘By trying to protect you? Isn’t that my job? We’re practically husband and wife, and a man looks after his wife-’
‘That shouldn’t mean putting a ball and chain on her.’
She heard his sharp intake of breath. ‘That’s a lousy thing to say.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘I’d sure as hell like to know how you did mean it,’ he said bitterly.
‘It’s just that to you life is one big word-
‘All right, maybe I take things a little too far,’ he grated, ‘but I don’t just ask
‘What do you mean by that?’ she asked, with a sudden keen edge to her voice.
He failed to hear its significance,
‘My firm asked me to start an Italian branch, in Naples-’
‘Your home town,’ she gasped in delight. ‘That’s great. When do we leave?’
‘We don’t. I turned it down.’
‘How could I possibly ask you to come to Italy with me? You manage well enough in England, but what would you do in a strange country?’
‘Meaning that I’m too stupid to find the way? Are you forgetting that I’ve already learned Italian?’
‘We’ve done some together,
‘A delightful game, you mean?’ she said in a hard voice. ‘Humouring me. You made a big decision like that without consulting me because you didn’t think I was up to the task?’
‘I only meant-’
‘How dare you?
‘I was only thinking of you,’ he retorted.
‘Did I ask you to think of me? I’m not a child, Francesco, and I’m not an idiot. And I’ve had enough of you treating me that way.’
‘Look, we’ll talk about it when you’ve calmed down.’
‘I’m not worked up. Inside I’m as cold as ice, and I’m telling you that I want you to go.’
‘Go where? I live here.’
‘Not any longer. It doesn’t work between us. I think perhaps it never could. Please go quickly. I don’t want to see you here again.’
‘You don’t want to
‘Go!’
‘Celia, for pity’s sake, stop this before it’s too late.’
‘It’s been too late for a long time,’ she whispered.
‘Look, I’m sorry if I went too far. But after all we’ve been to each other you can’t just-’
‘It’s over,’ she said, feeling that she would start to scream in a minute. ‘Please go, Francesco. Just pack a bag and go tonight. You can get the rest of your things later. But go now.’
In the silence she could sense that he was totally stunned. He knew she meant it.
Suddenly she broke.
CHAPTER THREE
‘GET out. Just get out.’
