Carl had agreed that she could skip his final lecture the following afternoon, to be at home for Jake’s arrival.
‘I’ll give you the notes, and we’ll have lunch in a day or so to chat about them,’ he said easily. But then his face became concerned. ‘Kelly, are you sure you’re up to looking after a sick man in your condition?’
‘Does the whole world know?’ she demanded, aghast. ‘I haven’t told anyone.’
‘The others won’t have noticed, but I have a sixth sense. Actually a seventh sense. I’m the third of seven children. All through my childhood my mother was having babies, and by the time I was seventeen my two elder sisters had married and gone into production. By then I was an experienced baby-sitter so they hired me. That’s how I earned money to take out girls.’
‘Too many girls, according to Marianne,’ Kelly said, smiling.
He grinned. ‘All those babies have marked me for life. I love them, and I’m great with them, if I say it myself. So-’ he took her hand and spoke solemnly ‘-if there’s anything you want to know, my dear, just call on Uncle Carl. Seriously-’ he reverted to normal ‘-if you need time off, trust me to understand.’
‘Thanks, but this time off is to see Jake settled. I’m hoping not to take any for myself. I’m not going to let this pregnancy make any difference to my normal life. Now what?’
Carl had let out a hoot of laughter. ‘Not make any difference? Oh, boy, have you got a lot to learn! Get out of here, and take as long as you need.’
On the day of Jake’s arrival Kelly was home by mid-afternoon, a little breathless from climbing stairs as the building’s lift was under repair. The phone rang as soon as she entered. It was Dr Ainsley.
‘The ambulance has just left,’ he said, ‘so Jake will be with you any minute.’
‘Actually, I’m a bit worried. The lift’s broken down and I’m three floors up.’
‘No sweat. The paramedics will bring him up in a wheelchair. I just called to warn you about what could be lying in wait. It wouldn’t surprise me if he went into a deep depression quite soon.’
‘But I thought that had already happened.’
‘Kelly, I have to tell you-you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. The way he’s been isn’t so much depression as shock, and the fact that he’s miserable in the hospital. Being in home surroundings will do him a world of good. He’ll perk up, and you’ll think everything’s fine. So will he. That’s the moment of danger. If I’ve judged him right it’ll hit without warning, and he’ll need you as never before.’
‘As never before is right,’ she said wryly. ‘He never really has needed me, or anyone. And you’re wrong about Jake. He’s a very strong-minded person.’
‘They’re the worst,’ Dr Ainsley told her, and hung up.
She had a cup of tea and tried to think logically. In a few minutes she would be sharing a home with Jake, while carrying his child. To all appearances their divorce had never happened.
That was what she had to fight, and she must do it by keeping her thoughts clear. She was not a wife, but a divorcee, a free woman, answerable to no man. The baby was off limits, and she was no longer in love with Jake. The slightly heightened heartbeat that she could sense was apprehension about what lay ahead.
She wondered how they would greet each other when he arrived. It would set the tone for the future, so,
Glancing out of the window, she saw that the ambulance had just drawn up. A last quick check of Jake’s room showed that everything was in place. By now they would have hauled a wheelchair up the stairs and she began to listen for the doorbell.
But it didn’t ring.
Looking out again, she saw the ambulance still there, but no sign of the occupants. Puzzled, she opened her front door just in time to see Jake turning the corner to begin slowly climbing the last flight of stairs on his own two feet. Behind him were a male and a female paramedic, making frustrated efforts to help him and being firmly snubbed.
‘I can manage,’ Jake growled. ‘Don’t either of you dare touch me.’
Kelly had tried to plan her greeting, but at the sight of him driving himself on, perspiration streaming down his deadly pale face, all her calculations went out of her head and she yelled,
‘None at all,’ he gasped. ‘Never did have. Don’t you know that by now?’
‘I do but I tried to forget it. Silly me! Where’s your wheelchair?’
The female paramedic was holding it. ‘Here. But he won’t let us use it.’
‘Yes, he will,’ Kelly said grimly.
‘No, he won’t,’ Jake grated, reaching the top stair. ‘You see? I told you I was fine.’
‘You’re not fine,’ she raged. ‘You’re soft in the head. It would serve you right if you ended up back in hospital.’
‘No way!’ said the female paramedic with feeling. ‘Now we’ve got rid of him, we’re staying rid.’
‘I once thought the same,’ Kelly muttered. ‘It’s not that easy.’
At last they were gone and she could confront Jake, who’d made it to the sofa and was looking at her with the wry, sheepish expectancy that she knew of old. It meant he’d done something thoroughly insane and was hoping to buy his way out of it with charm.
Well, not this time, buster!
‘It’s a pity they won’t take you back,’ she snapped, ‘because if they’d have you, I’d send you. You had to be a show-off, didn’t you? You had to be clever. You had to be “Jake Lindley who’s never fazed by anything”.’
‘I just wanted to prove I could make it alone.’
‘Well, you couldn’t, so what have you proved? Only that you’re an idiot, and I knew that already.’ Now the dam had broken there was no stopping her. Words poured out as the feelings of outrage swept her along.
‘C’mon, Kelly,’ he said at last. ‘I know I shouldn’t have done it, but-’
‘No buts. I’m fed up with your buts. You shouldn’t have done it, but, no, it’s not good enough for you to be like anyone else. Big, glamorous TV image, but behind it there’s just a bird-brained adolescent. You ought to be shot.’
As soon as the words were out she clutched her hair, horrified at herself. She’d said it often in the past, half laughing, and he’d laughed back. But she wished she’d bitten her tongue out before she’d said it now.
‘I thought I had been,’ Jake said wryly.
‘Oh, no, Jake, I didn’t mean that. It just-I don’t know-’
‘It’s all right. You weren’t thinking. Welcome to the club.’ He managed a frayed grin.
‘Oh, heavens!’ she said wretchedly. ‘It was a dreadful thing to say, wasn’t it?’
‘It was so dreadful it was entertaining. I’d laugh if I dared. Will you please forget it?’
‘Thanks,’ she said, sincerely grateful for his understanding. ‘Now go to bed and let me atone by a bit of fussing. Or are you too macho to admit you need to lie down?’
‘Nope.’
She took his bag into the bedroom and he followed, sitting down on the bed and taking her hand in his thin one.
‘I’m sorry, Kelly,’ he said, speaking seriously. ‘If you think I’ll be too much trouble I’ll go back to the hospital.’
‘Hah! As if! You heard what that paramedic said. You can stay here but you have to behave yourself.’
‘Yes, ma’am!’ he said meekly. He dropped her hand, since she didn’t seem to notice that he was holding it.
‘Let me unpack for you.’
‘Thanks, but that’s something I really can manage for myself without collapsing. I don’t want to be more trouble to you than I have to be.’
‘Fine.’
She got out of the room quickly to hide the fact that she wanted to cry.
For a while she saw little of Jake. He slept long hours and was often only just awakening as Kelly left for her classes. At first she would make him some tea before leaving, but he discouraged her, insisting that he could do this much for himself.
Kelly was there for the first visit of the district nurse, a pleasant middle-aged woman called Emily, who
