When they reached the top she darted away again, but this time he was ready for her. They took the mountain almost side by side and reached the bottom together.
‘That’s it!’ he said.
‘It may be it for you, but I’m going back.’
‘What’s the matter with you?’ he shouted. ‘What are you trying to prove?’
‘Nothing that you have to prove with me.’
His face was strained. ‘You know better than that,’ he said harshly.
Stubbornly she returned to the top, but this time she knew that she’d made a mistake. She was tired, and had lost the edge that had carried her successfully through the first two runs. Except that now she had experience of the slope, she assured herself. That would make all the difference.
But she’d miscalculated. This time the drop felt steeper, faster, her reactions slower. She tried to ease up. Would the end never come?
What happened next was too fast to follow. Suddenly, the ground, which had been sloping away steeply, seemed to vanish altogether. She had a sickening view of the long drop down into the valley, of nothingness rushing up to greet her. She fought for some footing but the mountain had become an enemy. She heard Sebastian cry out and the next moment she seemed to be in free fall. She called to her aid everything she knew about falling, not fighting it but trying to control it. Even so, she knew she was lucky to reach the bottom in one piece.
The knowledge did nothing to ease her anger at having failed in front of him. As the world ceased its spinning she sat up and slammed her fist into the snow just as he reached her and dropped to his knees.
‘You could have been killed,’ he cried hoarsely. He seized her. ‘Do you understand me? You could have been killed!’
‘Well, that would have solved your problem for you,’ she yelled back.
His fingers dug painfully into her shoulders. ‘Of all the stupid-idiotic-come on.’ He helped her to her feet. She winced and was forced to cling to him for support, but she freed herself at once.
‘As soon as we get back to the hotel you’ll see a doctor,’ he said.
‘I’m all right. Just a few bruises.’
‘You’re going to see a doctor,’ he said with exasperated patience. ‘Since you’ve marked me down as a domineering bully, I may as well act the part.’
She didn’t answer. She was trying to hoist her skis over her shoulder, but she was all aches. Silently Sebastian took them from her, and they returned the short distance to the hotel. She found the walk harder than she would have admitted to. The mountains seemed to be still spinning around her and she was looking forward to a long sleep.
They had booked into the most luxurious room of the Hotel Frontera. It had two double beds, both big enough to take three, and a huge fireplace with logs. The actual heating was done by radiators, but the fireplace created the right rustic atmosphere, and the hotel maintained it diligently.
Maggie began to remove her outer clothing, moving slowly, and wincing a good deal. But she couldn’t reach her boots.
‘Let me,’ Sebastian said quietly, and knelt down to work on the straps. Maggie took a long breath as he slipped them off.
‘I’m sorry. Did that hurt?’
‘No more than I deserve, I dare say,’ she replied with a gruff laugh.
‘For the sake of domestic harmony, I won’t answer that.’
There was a knock on the door. Sebastian answered it and returned with two glasses of brandy, one of which he gave her. ‘It will make you feel better.’
It was a very fine brandy and it did make her feel better. He watched her drink it, then offered her the remaining half of his. She accepted it.
The doctor arrived, a pleasant middle-aged man, who looked her over efficiently and announced that she had no bones broken, or even cracked.
‘Lots of bruises, but nothing worse,’ he announced. ‘Don’t try that run again until you are well. I’ve seen people break their necks on it.’
When they were alone Sebastian asked gravely, ‘Will you tell me the truth? Was that what you were trying to do?’
‘Break my neck? No, of course not. But-I don’t know how to put it-it sometimes feels good to take risks and leave it in the hands of fate. When you don’t know what the answer is-just to shrug and say, what will be, will be. It can be the most exciting feeling in the world.’
‘I know it can. I’ve done it myself. Nobody would ever ski a black run if they didn’t have a touch of the fatalist about them.’
‘When I’m better, I’m going back,’ she said firmly.
‘Very well, we’ll go together. But this time, side by side. No races. Whatever you may think, seeing you get killed would not solve my problem. I don’t know what the answer is-perhaps there isn’t one. But it’s not that. Of course,’ he added ironically, ‘the broken neck might be mine, and then
‘No,’ she said. ‘Roderigo died, but it didn’t make me free of him. He just became more and more destructive. I thought I’d escaped from his shadow, but now it looms larger than ever.’
‘Because of me?’ Sebastian asked tensely.
‘In some ways you’re just like him.’
His head went up. ‘
‘He did what suited him and told me about it afterwards, just like you with our wedding.’
He frowned. ‘I did what I thought was right, but maybe-maybe I was wrong.’
‘What about what
She got carefully into her bed and curled up at the edge. Sebastian stayed up, drinking brandy until, about one in the morning, he got into the other bed.
Next day she rested, while Sebastian went out onto the slopes. He took the Wall of Death twice in the morning and twice in the afternoon, wondering what he was trying to prove to himself, and not caring to search too far for the answer. He had lunch out, rather than return to the hotel where he knew he wasn’t welcome.
In the evening he found Maggie up and dressed, looking better, although she still moved stiffly. She asked politely after his day, and said she thought she might venture out tomorrow, not to ski, but to wander around the town. This kind of small talk carried them through a full half hour.
‘You must be hungry,’ he said at last. ‘Shall I call Room Service?’
‘No need. I’m well enough to come downstairs.’
Of course, he thought. The restaurant, where there were other guests and waiters to be spoken to, and the silence wouldn’t yawn so terribly between them.
The carefully polite meal that followed was more dreadful than the most bitter quarrel. When it was over she said she would have an early night, but why didn’t he spend half an hour in the bar, if he wished? He agreed, and when he returned upstairs found the light out and Maggie apparently asleep.
He was awoken by the sound of water running. Through the crack in the bathroom door he could see a light, and her shadow as she stepped into the tub. After a while he heard what sounded like a gasp of pain, followed by a muttered, ‘Damn!’ He got up, slipped on a silk robe and went to the door.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
‘No,’ she said after a moment.
‘May I come in?’
‘Yes.’ She was sitting in the bath, clasping the sides, a look of frustration on her face.
‘I thought a hot soak would help,’ she said. ‘But now I can’t pull myself up. It hurts when I try.’
He leaned down. ‘Put your arms about my neck.’
She did so and he straightened up slowly, taking her whole weight. As her naked body came into view he gave a sharp exclamation. The bruises had come right out now and she seemed to be black and blue all over.
‘There’s a towelling robe on the door,’ she said.
He draped it carefully around her and helped her out. Then he picked her up gently and carried her over to the
