want to spend the rest of my life with you. But it has to be
‘It sounds like giving me an ultimatum.’
‘All right then, I’m giving you one. If you love me one tenth as much as you’ve always said you do, then marry me. I can’t compromise on this, it’s too important to me.’
‘And what about what’s important to me?’
‘I’ve heard about nothing except what’s important to you, and I’ve tried to understand, although it put me through hell. Now it’s my turn to tell you what I want.’
She stared at him, a man she’d thought she knew through and through. Leo had finally lost his temper, not in the half humorous way she’d seen when he roared with frustration, but in deep, genuine anger. His eyes were as gleaming and dangerous as any man’s she’d ever seen. It was as though the last piece of him had slid into place.
That feeling persisted even when he immediately ran his hand through his hair and said, ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.’
‘I don’t mind shouting,’ she said truthfully. ‘I can always shout back. I’m good at that.’
‘Yes, I know,’ he said shakily. ‘I don’t mind the shouting either. It’s the silent distances I can’t stand.’
‘There are too many of them now,’ she agreed.
She took a step towards him. He moved in the same moment, and they were in each other’s arms.
It was a long, fulfilling kiss and she felt her fears and tensions ease. While they had this-
‘Don’t ever frighten me like that again,’ she said. ‘I really thought you meant it.’
He released her. ‘I did mean it.’
She stepped back. ‘No, Leo, please-listen-’
‘I’ve listened as much as I mean to,’ he said firmly. ‘I can’t do it your way. In here-’ he touched his heart ‘- you’re already my wife. I can’t live differently on the outside. I can’t live a divided life.’
‘And you’d really send me away?’
‘My darling, if we tried to do it your way we’d pull apart sooner rather than later, and part miserably. We’d have nothing left but bitter memories. It would be better to part now, while there’s still love to remember.’
She turned away, waving her arms in angry, helpless gestures, then began to bang her head against the wall. He quickly took hold of her and pulled her away, pressing her against him.
‘I feel like doing that too,’ he said, ‘but it just gives you a headache.’
‘What are we going to do?’ she wept.
‘We’re going to have something to eat, and we’re going to talk like civilised people.’
But they couldn’t talk. They had each stated their position, and each recognised that the other was immovable. What was there to say after that?
They were both glad to go to bed, in their separate rooms, but after a couple of hours of lying awake Selena got dressed and came downstairs.
She didn’t put any lights on, but walked from room to room in silence, wondering if she would soon leave here. It would have been so easy to run back to Leo and promise to marry him, anything rather than leave him. But the conviction that they would both pay a heavy price for a brief happiness lay heavy on her. She could take the risk for herself, but not for him.
She wanted to bang her head against the wall again, but she didn’t because she was too tired and her head was aching already. At last she settled on a sofa by the window, put her arms on the back, and dozed off uneasily.
She was awoken by a hand on her shoulder.
‘Darling, wake up,’ Leo said.
‘What time is it?’ she asked, moving stiffly.
‘Seven in the morning. We’ve got visitors, look.’
They went out into the yard, where two cars that they recognised were coming up the slope.
‘It’s the family,’ she said. ‘But we saw them only yesterday. Why have they followed us here?’
The cars drew to a halt, and Guido and Dulcie got out of the first. Out of the second, to their astonishment, stepped the count and countess.
‘We are here on a very important matter,’ Count Calvani announced. ‘My wife insists that she must speak to Selena. The rest of us merely travel as her entourage.’
‘Come inside,’ Leo said. ‘It’s too cold to stay out here.’
Inside Gina served them with hot coffee. Selena was still trying to sort out what was happening. Why did the old woman want to see her? Why were her eyes fixed on her so urgently?
‘Will someone tell me what’s happening?’ she said.
‘I come to you,’ Liza said slowly, ‘because there are things-’ she hesitated, frowning ‘-things that only I can say.’
‘We’re here to help,’ Dulcie said, ‘in case Liza’s English runs out. She’s been working hard at learning it, for your sake, and as far as possible she wants to say this herself.’
‘I tried before,’ Liza said. ‘But then-I do not have the words-and you do not listen.’
‘When you were in Venice the first time,’ Dulcie said. ‘Liza tried to talk to you, but you ran away.’
‘There was no need for her to tell me I was the wrong person for Leo,’ Selena said. ‘I knew that.’
‘No, no, no!’ Liza said firmly. She glared at Selena. ‘You should talk less, listen more.
Unexpectedly Selena also smiled.
‘Good,’ Liza spoke robustly. ‘I come to say-you do a terrible thing-as I did. And you must not.’
‘What am I doing that’s terrible?’ Selena asked cautiously.
‘After what Leo told us we had a family conference last night,’ Guido said, ‘and we reckoned we all had to come out here and talk some sense into you. But Liza most of all.’
‘Now, you come with me,’ Liza said firmly. She set down her cup and headed for the door.
‘Can I come?’ Leo asked.
Liza regarded him. ‘Can you keep quiet?’
‘Yes, Aunt,’ he said meekly.
‘Then you can come.’ She marched out.
‘What is she doing?’ Selena asked him.
‘I think I know. You can trust her.’
He followed them out to the car, handing Liza in, while Dulcie got behind the wheel.
‘Drive down through Morenza,’ Liza said, ‘and then-two miles further on-a farm.’
Dulcie followed instructions and they were soon out in the countryside, surrounded by fields, with the occasional low-roofed building. The others came behind them.
‘There,’ Liza said, indicating a farm house.
Dulcie turned in and drove the short distance to the cluster of buildings. A middle-aged man looked up and greeted Liza. Selena didn’t hear the words they exchanged. Liza led the way past the house to a collection of outbuildings, and into a cow byre.
It was a large building, filled with animals, for they had arrived at milking time.
Liza turned and faced Selena.
‘I was born here,’ she said.
Selena frowned. ‘You mean-in the house?’
‘No, I mean here, in this room, where we stand now. My mother was a servant and she lived here, with the animals. In those days-it sometimes happened. Poor people lived like that. And we were very, very poor.’
‘But-’ Selena looked around helplessly.
‘I was not born a fine lady. You didn’t know?’
‘Yes, I knew you weren’t born with a title but-this-’
‘Yes,’ Liza nodded. ‘This. In those days there was-big gap between rich and poor.’ She demonstrated with her hands. ‘And my mother was not married. She never told my father’s name, and there was much disgrace for her.
