would be mine. She said it was a place of refuge when the world became too much. And she was right.’
‘I can’t imagine you ever finding the world too much,’ Helena said. But she spoke without antagonism.
‘Of course. That’s the idea of a place like this. You can hide your weaknesses here, then emerge stronger, to confront people.’
It was as though he’d opened a tiny window into himself, giving her a glimpse of a different man. But he closed it again at once, saying, ‘Let me show you the house. You can just see it there beyond that clump of trees.’
She hadn’t even noticed it before, so modest was the building. No grandeur here, just a comfortable-looking bungalow with a couple of outhouses.
As they walked towards it he took her hand. It seemed a casual gesture, yet there was something pleasing about the warmth and firmness of his clasp.
‘Careful,’ he said, indicating a large stone in her path and steadying her as she crossed it. ‘We’re nearly there.’
Hand in hand they walked on to the house. Despite its isolation she found that it had everything necessary for comfort, including running water, light and warmth from its own generator.
‘So you can run a main-line computer,’ she said. ‘I’ll bet you do your best work here.’
‘No computer,’ he said. ‘I have a cell-phone so that I can be reached in case of emergencies, and a small radio, but apart from that, nothing.’
With delight she saw that it was a place where a man could retreat from the world and be alone with himself. Or perhaps one other.
He showed her the kitchen, the freezer stocked with food. Then he unpacked a large bag he’d brought with him on the boat, revealing fresh bread, potatoes, steak and salad.
‘Wait until you taste my cooking,’ he said.
‘A man who lives in a
‘Is that a challenge?’
‘If you care to take it that way.’
He got to work while she looked around the bungalow, which was modestly appointed with two bedrooms, one living room and a place that seemed like a small library. The furniture was sparse, little more than necessities, and she wondered if he preferred this after the luxury in which he normally lived. It almost suggested that the man who felt at home here must be a monk.
But that wasn’t so, she mused, remembering last night.
They ate on the terrace overlooking the sea. Far off she could just make out the shore of Venice, merely a thin line of buildings.
‘It’s good to get away before things start being noisy again,’ Salvatore observed.
‘Why are they going to get noisy?’
‘I’ve got a new line of glass coming out and it’ll be unveiled in a few days.’
‘Oh, yes, mine’s a bit later. Emilio’s getting excited about it.’
‘A lot of store buyers come down and half your sales will be made in that first week. You’ll be all right. Your line is good.’
‘I won’t ask how you know,’ she said wryly. ‘I haven’t forgotten how you walk in and out of Larezzo as though you own it.’
‘Walked, past tense. I wouldn’t dare do it now.’
‘Hm!’
He laughed. ‘You still don’t trust me, do you?’
‘Can we discuss this another time? I’m enjoying myself and I don’t want to spoil it.’
‘You’re right. Business should be kept well away from this place.’
‘I think it’s lovely, a perfect little world apart.’
Salvatore nodded.
‘I sit here some evenings and look over there where the lights are winking,’ he said. ‘It looks so close, it’s hard to believe it’s really so far away. And I can hear the bell in the campanile booming all the way over here. It’s like being alone and yet being in Venice at the same time.’
‘Living your life from within, and standing back to see yourself as other people do, all in one moment,’ she murmured.
He looked at her quickly. ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to say, but you put it better. And I suppose you know more than anyone about seeing yourself through other people’s eyes.’
His tone was friendly, without the defensive edge that usually tinged it, even in their lighter moments, and she nodded, happy to relax with him.
‘You’re right. Sometimes I feel as though there are fifty versions of me, and none of them are really me. Yet I suppose something of those terrible women must be inside me, or how did they grow?’
‘Why do you call them terrible when they’re known for their beauty?’ he asked. ‘Is beauty terrible?’
‘It can be, when people look at you and see nothing else. It can be a curse.’ Then she made a sound of impatience with herself. ‘Oh, listen to me! There are millions of women who’d give the earth to have what I have. My life’s easy compared to what a lot of them have to put up with. It’s just that sometimes-sometimes I think of their nice ordinary lives with children and men who work at unexciting jobs and come home every day, and love them for their own selves, not because of their looks, and I think how lucky they are.’
He didn’t speak, but took her hand, caressing it softly with his own. Dreamily she wondered if this gentle, peaceful man could be the same one who enjoyed tormenting her to climax.
But he too had many faces, as she was discovering, and the knowledge bred in her a longing to explore further and discover the others.
‘You must sense it too,’ she said. ‘People who think they know you, but actually they haven’t the first idea.’
‘True, but I can’t blame them. I show them what I want them to see, and if they believe it, well and good.’
‘But where does that leave you?’ she asked.
He shrugged. ‘Safe, I suppose.’
‘But what price are you paying?’
‘Perhaps the same as you.’
‘Is it worth it?’ she asked curiously.
‘Sometimes it is. There are times when I know I’ve done the right thing in standing guard over myself. At others…’ He shrugged again.
‘But why do you have to stand guard? Would the world come to an end if you eased up, trusted people a little?’
‘I’ve seen other people’s worlds come to an end like that,’ he said slowly, ‘because they trusted, and then found that their fate wasn’t in their own hands. That’s something I’ll never let happen to me. My fate will be in my hands and nobody else’s, as long as I live.’
He spread his hands out before him, as though seeing them for the first time. They were large and powerful, but something made Helena take one of them in hers and hold it gently. He became suddenly still and she had the feeling that she’d taken him by surprise.
She too was surprised. Her own fingers were delicate compared to his, yet his hand lay in hers, unresisting, as though, just for a moment, all the power was with her.
Memories of their times together came back to her as she turned his hand over. So fierce, yet so gentle, imprisoning her, caressing her, doing whatever he pleased but making sure it pleased her too.
On impulse she tightened her fingers on his.
‘Come with me,’ she said.
He rose to his feet and let her lead him inside, to the larger bedroom.
They undressed quickly and fell onto the bed together. In contrast with last time he now seemed almost hesitant.
She put her arms above her head and stretched out blissfully, with a sigh that might have been contentment or expectation. At once he reached out, laying one hand between her breasts, and resting it there as though awaiting her reaction. Her pulse quickened but she stayed still.
