‘All right,’ he said harshly. ‘I admit it. I was trying to get you off the subject. Do you think I want to let strangers poke and pry into my private life? Can you imagine how hard it was even to tell you? Suppose she wasn’t a vulnerable girl. Suppose she was someone who just didn’t want to bother.’
‘All right, it’s possible, but then I don’t think she’d have given her baby away in secret. She’d simply have called social services. But neither of us really knows. That’s why it’s vital to find out.’
‘You’re forgetting that she never registered my birth. In a sense I never existed. All those agencies for reuniting people with their mothers can’t help a man whose mother’s name isn’t on his birth certificate.’
‘That’s going to make it more difficult,’ she conceded. ‘But not impossible. I’ve got a friend that I’d like to give this to. He’s a private detective, and he’s brilliant.’
He was silent, racked by doubt. Evie could almost feel the violence of his feelings tearing him in opposite directions.
‘I can see to everything,’ she urged. ‘You give me all the details and I’ll talk to him. You won’t even have to meet him if you don’t want to.’
‘All right,’ he said softly. ‘If I can leave everything in your hands, I’ll do it.’
She held him close, praying that she’d done the right thing for him. If it turned out badly, she might have made his troubles a thousand times worse. But she knew that he couldn’t go much longer.
It was time to leave the cottage and return to London. Evie took a last look around, thinking of how she’d arrived here meaning to pack up and say goodbye. And now there were to be no sad goodbyes. At least, not to the cottage. What the road ahead held for her and Justin she could not tell.
So that they could travel together he arranged for a driver to collect her van. As they drove home he said, ‘It’ll be very late when we reach London. Why don’t you stay with us tonight, or maybe a few days?’
And she said that would be lovely, almost as though they hadn’t planned it between them earlier. Mark grinned. He was a child who saw and understood a lot more than he was told.
Justin left for New York a couple of days later. Before going he showed Evie his office and all the files that concerned his birth. They were pitifully few, but they were a start.
When Justin had gone she contacted David Hallam, the private investigator who was a good friend.
‘You’re not giving me much,’ he complained when he saw the material. ‘Never mind. It’ll be a challenge.’
On the night before Justin was due home David called her and said, ‘You’ve really stirred things up.’
‘You don’t mean you’ve found something?’
He told her what he’d discovered, and she could barely contain her excitement. But she must be patient. She and Mark went to meet Justin at the airport, and she held back, letting the moment belong to father and son. Her time would come.
It came later that night when they were finally alone.
‘I don’t know how much it amounts to,’ she said, ‘but David has someone he wants you to meet.’
He tensed. ‘Not-?’
‘No, not her. A man. His name is Primo Rinucci, and his English stepmother had a son who was taken away from her at birth. For years he’s been trying to find him for her. He’s had feelers out with dozens of organisations and detective agencies, asking them to tell him if anyone with the right details contacted them. There’s a chance that you’re the man he’s seeking.’
He turned pale. ‘Dear God!’
‘Justin, just think. If this works out, it means that
‘Don’t!’ he said in a harsh whisper. ‘Don’t encourage me to hope.
‘Yes, darling. Yes,
This might be the answer that would make him complete at last, and if they did not pursue it the doubt would torment them both. But she knew also that Justin was standing on a dangerous edge, and disappointed hope could destroy him. If that happened she would blame herself for ever.
‘What else do you know about this man?’ he asked.
‘He comes from Naples and he’s flying over here to meet you. I’ve provisionally set it up for the day after tomorrow.’
‘I’ve got a meeting-’
‘Where do we go?’
‘You want me to come with you?’
‘I can’t do it without you. Sometimes I don’t think I can do anything without you. It’s as though you’re what links me to life. If that link were broken I’d just-’ he fought for the words ‘-sink into a black hole and never come out again.’
It dawned on her that he was making what, in any other man, she would have called a declaration of love. But this man did nothing like the others.
He saw the understanding in her face and spoke in self-mockery.
‘I’m making a pig’s ear of it, aren’t I?’
‘Not really,’ she said, smiling. ‘I’m getting the message.’
‘I’m glad, because there are some things-I can’t do the “three little words” stuff.’ He sounded desperate.
He might never say that he loved her, she realised. But her life had been full of men who could do the ‘three little words stuff’ easily, and she had wanted none of them. What she wanted was this clumsy bear of a man with his tortured, painfully expressed need.
‘Do you remember the evening we collected Mark from the cemetery and you came home for supper?’ he asked. ‘The dogs were there, and their carry-on made you laugh.’
‘Yes, I remember.’
‘I’d never heard anyone laugh like that-such a sound-rich and warm-as though you’d found the secret of life. It seemed to-I had to follow-’ he grimaced ‘-whether you wanted me or not.’
‘A takeover bid,’ she said, smiling fondly.
‘Are you making fun of me?’ He said it, not aggressively, but almost meekly, like someone who was trying to learn.
‘Maybe just a bit,’ she said, touching his face.
‘You’re being unfair. I do know that women are different from stocks and shares-’
‘If only you could work out exactly how,’ she teased.
He weaved his fingers through hers, drawing her hand to his lips, then resting it against his cheek.
‘Laugh at me if you like,’ he said, ‘as long as you don’t leave me.’
The meeting was set up in neutral territory. David hired a room in a London hotel and the four of them met for lunch, Evie carrying the file with all the paperwork.
Primo Rinucci turned out to be a tall man with slightly shaggy mid-brown hair, in his early thirties. Despite his name he spoke perfect English, with no trace of an accent.
Evie was prepared for anything, but in fact the truth was clear almost at once. When Primo first set eyes on Justin a stillness came over him and he drew a long breath. After that she knew.
She couldn’t tell whether Justin had seen and understood. His manner was stiff and awkward and he scowled more than he smiled. David, with blessed tact, departed almost as soon as the introductions were made.
‘Give me a call later,’ he whispered to Evie.
When he’d gone the two men regarded each other warily.
‘You are wondering what I can have to do with you,’ Primo said. ‘Let me tell you a little about myself. I was born in England and lived here for the first few years of my life. My father’s name was Jack Cayman. He was English. My mother was Italian, and her maiden name was Rinucci.
‘She died while I was a baby and my father married again, a young English girl called Hope Martin. She was a wonderful person, more a mother to me than a stepmother. Sadly, the marriage didn’t last. When they divorced, my father insisted that I remain with him. Later he died. I went to Italy to live with my mother’s parents, and took their name.
‘But then Hope, my stepmother, learned where I was and came to see me. My family welcomed her, and my Uncle Toni fell in love with her. I was very happy when they married, especially as I was able to live with them. I
