was coming.
Grant had worked late at the office and Callie had spent a couple of hours with Tina and Molly, after which she’d picked up a nice chicken dinner at the deli. She was arranging it on plates while Grant put together a salad and hunted for dressing in the refrigerator.
They ate slowly, talking about a project the company was bidding on, avoiding the tragic topic of Tina and what could be done. At one point, Callie yawned.
“You’re working too hard,” Grant told her. “And you’re not getting enough sleep.”
“You’re right,” she admitted. “But I just have so much I need to get done.”
“You know, you could leave work early so you’d have more time with Tina,” he said a bit gruffly.
She hesitated. “I’ve thought about that, but it wouldn’t really be fair to my co-workers.”
He frowned at her. “Callie, this is a special case and it’s only temporary. Take the time off. Tina needs you.”
She smiled at him, appreciating his thoughtfulness, though she knew full well the unspoken motive had something to do with the fact that he didn’t want her to neglect him, either. But that was all right. She could understand that.
“Actually Molly needs me most,” she said, and his eyes darkened. He looked away as he always did when Molly was the subject. That bothered her, but she didn’t have a chance to ask him about it as he was already talking about changes he was making at the office, and about how he was going to have a few extended business trips coming up.
They cleared away the dishes and sat, drinking coffee and talking for a half hour. Callie was beginning to wonder how they were going to manage bedtime tonight, when Grant took the bull by the horns and did it his way.
“Callie,” he said, looking at her forthrightly. “Don’t you think we ought to get back to work?”
She was startled for a moment. She’d just risen, thinking to go to the sink to rinse out her cup, but she turned back to face him. “You mean…?”
“Yes,” he said, rising himself and looking down at her. “That’s what I mean.”
She searched his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“About what?”
She took a deep breath. “I didn’t know if you really wanted me to.”
“Callie, look at me. I want you. Don’t ever doubt it. I should have a sign painted on my forehead, I Want Callie.”
She smiled, wondering how he could say that. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She shrugged, putting down her cup. “Well, okay then. My bedroom or yours?”
He’d had enough of this. Growling, he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.
“I’ll show you where you belong,” he said.
She shrieked and laughed as he carried her into his room and dropped her in the middle of his bed. She was still laughing as he slipped off her blouse and pushed aside her bra. But when his lips touched the pink tip of her breast all laughter faded away and she melted into the passionate woman she’d learned how to be on a Caribbean island.
An hour later, with the lights off and the house buttoned down for the night, Grant felt calm and fulfilled for the first time that day. He liked the smell of her hair and the feel of her soft skin. He loved to feel her legs wrap around his hips and to feel her fingers dig into his shoulder. He was crazy about the way she cried out when it got really good and he was addicted to the way he felt when their time together came to its high point.
For just a moment the traitorous thought came into his head-Jan never cared all that much for lovemaking. Callie seemed to thrive on it. But he banished that thought quickly. No comparisons. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair.
Still, he felt fulfilled and satisfied, like a lazy cat in the sun, just being with Callie. After they made love, he thought it was so full and sweet and solid that she wouldn’t possibly want to leave him. And then he felt her slip out of the bed and pull on her robe. He lay very still with his eyes closed as she walked quietly across the hallway-away from him.
Why didn’t she want to stay with him? Her absence left a big, cold, empty place in his bed. It was something he was going to have to do something about.
Lately nights were good, Callie had to admit.
Days were bad. Being cheerful for Tina was getting more and more difficult. She was on pain medication around the clock now and usually asleep. A hospice nurse came by twice a day, and of course, there was the nursing service Grant had hired for her.
Molly had a nanny twenty-four hours a day, but she didn’t understand why her mommy was always in bed. Callie tried to be there as often as she could to keep things as normal as possible for the child. That was what was most important.
It was impossible for a child so young to understand what was happening, but she had to sense that something sad was going on. Callie hated that, knowing it must be scary for her. She understood feeling scared of things you were too young to fully comprehend. She’d spent her own childhood often frightened of her mother’s drunk boyfriends. She didn’t want Molly to have those kinds of memories. At all costs, she had to be protected.
There was one puzzle that still bothered her. Grant had been so generous, hiring the nurse and the nanny and coming by to see Tina every few days. So why did he act so strangely around Molly? He always avoided her. And the sad thing was, the girl was fascinated by him. She lit up like a Christmas tree every time she caught sight of him. It was a nagging problem that didn’t show any signs of getting better.
Finally one day she brought it up to his sister.
“Gena, what is it? Why doesn’t Grant like Molly?”
Gena had looked pained. She’d dropped by to see her brother, but he was working very late, so she’d stayed to have a chat with Callie instead.
“Is he still acting that way?”
“Yes. He avoids her like the plague.”
She nodded, pursing her lips. “He should have talked to you about this himself, but since he hasn’t, I’ll tell you. He thinks that Molly looks just like his daughter, Lisa.”
Callie frowned, trying to think back and picture the photograph he had in his office. “Well, they both have dark hair and dark eyes, but other than that…” She shrugged.
“Exactly. They don’t look alike at all. I don’t know how he got it in his brain, but now he can’t seem to shake it loose. He fixates on it. And that makes it impossible for him to accept her.”
“But he has to accept her.” She looked at Gena helplessly. “She’s going to be mine. For keeps.”
Gena’s eyes widened. “You mean to tell me you plan to adopt her once Tina is gone?”
Callie nodded, feeling a bit lost. “I promised Tina. And even if I hadn’t…”
Gena nodded. “Sure, I understand.” With a sigh, she threw her arms around Callie and hugged her tight. “Oh boy,” she said. “I’m afraid you and Grant are in for one rocky ride.”
“If only I could think of some way to make him look at Molly differently.”
Gena drew back and searched her face. “Don’t you get it? It has very little to do with Molly. It’s all about him. He’s feeling guilty. He can’t shake the fact that he should have been home more and taken a more active part in his daughter’s life. All this moping about is because he can’t expunge his sense of guilt.”
Callie shook her head. This was the first she’d heard of anything like this. “What are you talking about?”
Gena shook her head. “Grant was the typical workaholic. He lived for business. And Jan wasn’t any better. She was so busy with her activities and her girlfriends. The two of them had a nanny for Lisa. There were times when they would work all day, then meet for dinner out, then get home too late to see Lisa that day. Believe me, that wasn’t unusual. They were the ultimate yuppie couple, living the modern life and treating their daughter like a pet.”
Callie was shocked. Somehow she couldn’t imagine Grant letting that happen, no matter how crazy he was about his wife. “So you’re saying Grant feels guilty about neglecting Lisa, so he wants to neglect Molly?”
“Now that’s putting a bit of spin on it.” Gena made a face. “I don’t think Grant is actually all that complicated. No, but I’m saying he does feel guilty. He’s haunted by this vision of Lisa watching him, crying, wanting more
