happiness and hope for the future. She wanted that. She needed it.
And if she was honest, she would admit that Grant could make all that possible. And at the same time, she could make it possible for him.
She could give that to Grant.
She had the power to do it.
She could give that to herself.
Did she have the nerve to do it?
CHAPTER FOUR
NEGOTIATIONS had begun.
The setting was a trendy cafe with reflective surfaces and hard edges. The mood was wary and exploratory. The outcome was uncertain.
“So how would this work exactly?” Callie asked, trying very hard to be cool, calm and collected while her stomach was manufacturing butterflies in herds. “I think we should be very clear on all the details from the start, so we both know where we stand.”
Grant nodded. “To start with, what we’re talking about here is a business deal, not a love match,” he said, gazing at her levelly across a tile-covered table.
He’d said that before. She had no doubt he was going to say it again. Many times.
“Yes. I understand that.”
At least, she thought she did. When you came right down to it, she wasn’t sure she knew what a “love match” was. She wasn’t sure she even believed in them. When she’d married Ralph, she’d done it out of gratitude, not passion. She’d known right from the beginning that love had very little to do with it.
She didn’t even think there’d been much love on Ralph’s part. There had been an obsession-but it was an obsession with control. They’d gone very quickly from being good friends to wary adversaries and she wasn’t sure how or why it had happened that way. She only knew she didn’t want that to happen here-if she decided to do this crazy thing.
“In fact,” Grant was saying, his hands curled around a large mug of coffee, “when I first started thinking about it, as you know, marriage wasn’t really a part of the plan.”
“Well, it is now,” she said quickly. “In fact, it’s a deal breaker.”
He nodded. “I know. Don’t worry.” He smiled at her in a reassuring way. “I feel the same way, now that I’ve thought it through.”
“Good.”
She was trying hard to seem composed, but he could sense her unease and he hesitated, wanting to get this right. He’d deliberately chosen a rather noisy, modish restaurant for this meeting. He hadn’t wanted white linen tablecloths and roses, with violins in the background. Techno music and hard surfaces made a better match for their purposes. It would be best to hammer out the future guidelines for their relationship in a cool, neutral atmosphere. No emotions allowed.
Yesterday had been a day from hell. He’d been so clumsy, practically assaulting her with his appeal that she marry him. He’d tried to explain, tried to tell her about his family heritage, and his own overwhelming need for a child. She thought at first that he was joking. Then she thought he was crazy. She’d placed a few well-aimed barbs in his hide and taken off, flinging a demand that he not ever, ever contact her again behind her as she left.
And who could blame her? He’d done a lousy job of making his case. So he’d spent the night pacing the floor of his penthouse apartment, trying to think of a better way to approach her. He was usually good at this sort of thing. There were some who said he could charm the socks off a cat, but his natural abilities seemed to fade away when his emotions were involved so strongly.
And that was why emotions had to be controlled, tamped down-blotted out if possible.
When she didn’t show up for work in the morning, he knew he’d really made a mess of it. By noon, he’d been about to go out to her apartment and break down her door if he had to. And then Lynnette had looked into his office with news.
“There’s someone here to see you,” she’d said, seeming disapproving.
When Callie appeared in his doorway, his heart had been thumping so loud, he was afraid they could hear it in the lunchroom.
“I’ve calmed down,” she said, looking at him warily. “And I’d like to talk things over.”
So here they were in The ZigZag Cafe, surrounded by young twenty-somethings, meeting and greeting and listening to electronic music that made his teeth hurt. But they were keeping emotions out of it. Sort of.
“I think we ought to pin down just what exactly you would expect out of this,” she said, putting down her cafe latte and looking like a lawyer ready to take a statement from the witness.
“Sure. I expect-” He stopped himself, then purposely relaxed. “No, let’s put it this way. I hope for a child. With his mother attached. I hope for a warm family group. I’d like to end up with some basic emotional support, and I expect to give the same to you.”
She nodded, biting her lip. “Like good friends?” she asked, looking skeptical.
“Like good friends,” he agreed.
She frowned thoughtfully. That worried her. It sounded too familiar. But she didn’t see an alternative.
“If I agree to do this, what happens if…” She swallowed hard and avoided his bright gaze. “What happens if it doesn’t pan out?”
He had to work hard to keep from grinning at her. He could tell she was getting closer and closer to saying “yes.” He drummed his fingers on the tile table to keep from showing what he was thinking, how excitement was growing in him, deep down.
“We’ll negotiate an agreement to include things like that.”
She managed to smile and tried to make a joke. “If that happens, I suppose, like Henry the Eighth, you’ll move on and find your Anne Boleyn somewhere.”
He smiled back. “So you’re channeling Catherine of Aragon now?”
She shrugged. “Better a divorce than losing my head.”
He winced. “I’m having my lawyer draw up a contract,” he said. “It will cover all contingencies.”
“Fine. If we end up doing this, I’ll have my lawyer look it over.” As if she had one. Well, she would have one before things were finalized. “I’ll get back to you on what changes we’ll want.”
He shook his head, studying her through narrowed eyes. “Why do you assume there will need to be changes?”
Her smile was brittle. “Because I’m sure this would be made from your point of view. That’s only natural. But I’m bound to have my own concerns. Equal time.”
He nodded slowly, reminding himself that he was going to have to take her thoughts into account. This wasn’t like hiring an employee, really. It was going to be more like a partnership. That gave him a momentary qualm. He did like to be in control. But then he relaxed and congratulated himself on being so perceptive-and magnanimous.
A partnership. Of course.
Callie seemed to be reading his mind.
“You do understand that I couldn’t have a baby and then just hand him over to you,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “I won’t be a surrogate mother. I’d be in this for parenthood as much as you are.”
“Absolutely.” He frowned, trying to make out what was hidden in her eyes. “So tell me, Callie. I want to know why you’re considering this. What is it that you expect?”
She took a deep breath. “A good father for my child. A protected situation to raise my child in.”
“Exactly what I plan to provide.” He was having a hard time containing himself. “Callie, we can do this thing. We can have a child together. Are you starting to feel how possible this is?”
“Maybe.” She hesitated and steeled herself. Now came the hard part. “But I’ve got to admit, there’s more. I’ve got to be totally honest with you. I really, really want a baby. It’s a desire that almost consumes me at times. But there’s another factor going into this.” Taking a deep breath, she went on. “I’m in major financial difficulties right
