He struck his head. ‘Hey, I never thought of that! What a chance I missed! All those crashes when I could have been doing something really interesting. Mind you, there’s a snag. In a taxi the passenger is the boss. I can’t stand that. I have to be in charge.’
‘But don’t you get instructions from the team?’
‘They tell me what they want, but I contrive to do it my way. I’m the one in the driving seat and they just have to get used to that.’
Another man might have sounded like a bully. Jared merely came across as a charming lad who would manipulate his own way by one means or another.
A giggle from another part of the bar made them look up to find that he’d been recognised.
‘Oh, no,’ he groaned. ‘Come on.’
Grabbing her again, he whisked her out onto the pavement, suddenly overcome by self-reproach.
‘I’ve got no manners, have I? That’s twice tonight I’ve just hauled you away without asking what you want.’
‘I’m not complaining.’
‘That’s because you’re a sweet, understanding person, but you deserve better than me.’
She suppressed the instinct to say,
‘At least I can offer you something to eat,’ he said. ‘Come-’ He stopped in the act of seizing her hand, groaning. ‘I’m doing it again.’
‘Well, you’d better get on and do it, then, hadn’t you?’ she said, laughing and grasping his hand in her turn. ‘Where are we going?’
‘To my home. No more public places.’
‘Where are you parked?’
‘I live nearby. No driving. Which is just as well because-’ he blinked ‘-I may have had just a little too much wine.’
His home turned out to be a couple of rented rooms, which astonished her by their austerity.
‘I’m hardly ever here,’ he explained as she looked around. ‘Every two weeks there’s a race in a different country. Plus, I’ll soon be moving to another team, which is what I really came to tell Duncan tonight.’
She was facing away from him so he didn’t see the dismay at the news that he was leaving.
‘Right,’ he said breezily. ‘It’s time for me to demonstrate that I have other skills besides acting like a maniac on the track.’
To her surprise he turned out to be a skilled cook.
‘My mother insisted on it,’ he explained. ‘She said women would find me such a turn-off that I’d better learn to fend for myself.’
Again they laughed together, and again happiness pervaded her so that nothing else mattered. Almost nothing else. The knowledge of his imminent departure lay like a threat in her mind, infusing every word and action. Perhaps it caused what happened next.
When they’d finished washing up he said, ‘Bless you for everything. What would I have done without you?’ Then he leaned forward and kissed her lightly.
She couldn’t blame him for the consequences. They were at least as much her doing, perhaps more. Suddenly her arms were about him, her mouth pressing against his, her whole being trembling with delight and anticipation. She sensed the shock that went through him and the next moment his embrace grew more fervent, more thrilling.
They were on the sofa, undressing each other with frantic hands, reaching for the moment they were now both desperate to achieve. She gasped as they became one, but then, suddenly, it was all over. He was pulling away as though desperate to escape. She had a view of his face that she would remember all her days. It was a blank mask, except for the eyes that were full of dismay.
‘We must stop this,’ he gasped. ‘I didn’t mean to-you’re all right, aren’t you?’
She was far from all right. The joy had been snatched from her at the last moment and she wanted to weep, but she forced a smile.
‘Yes, fine,’ she lied. ‘It was just-’
‘I know. I didn’t mean to-I didn’t realise-your first time. But don’t worry, I didn’t-not exactly-’
Had he made love to her fully or not? In her innocence she couldn’t have said, but it was plain that he wanted the answer to be no.
He couldn’t get rid of her fast enough. He called a taxi and paid the fare in advance, but didn’t offer to see her home. His words and manner were perfectly courteous, but it was the perfection of a mask. She wept for the whole journey.
For the next few weeks she had the sensation of seeing life at a distance: the row about Jared’s departure, his last race for Brent, the Brazilian Grand Prix, which he won, making him the World Champion Driver on points.
His picture was everywhere-holding up the trophy, being embraced by Mirella, regarding her with an entranced expression. How different from his shocked eyes as he’d pulled away from herself.
She guessed that it was her inexperience that had dismayed him. It threatened involvement, emotion, scenes-things he avoided like the plague.
Even so she clung to the hope that he would contact her, even if just to say goodbye. But there was no word from him, and by the time she first suspected that she might be pregnant he’d already left without a backward glance.
A visit to his apartment was futile. Already somebody else was living there. E-mail produced only an ‘address invalid’ message. Clearly Cannonball had taken him over completely. In despair she made one last try, getting his mobile phone number from the firm’s records and texting.
I really need to see you. It’s important. Kaye
In five seconds precisely, she received a routine reply.
Thank you for contacting Jared Marriot. This number is now closed, but he thanks you for your good wishes.
On the same day his engagement to Mirella was announced, and she knew her last hope was gone. She had too much pride to force herself onto his attention. She would have his child alone. She didn’t know how she was going to do it, but she’d made up her mind.
Her grandparents were magnificent, insisting that she should live with them. College had to be abandoned, but she stayed on with Brent until she gave birth.
Ethel encouraged her to return to work, but Kaye was swept by the need to be with her baby. So she left Brent and worked at home as a freelance translator. She also enrolled in the Open University, and emerged triumphantly with a degree.
Jared never married Mirella, who simply faded from the scene, to be replaced by many others in quick succession. The papers detailed every one.
Gradually Kaye learned to cope with reminders of the man who’d rejected her. She even named her son Michael, which was Jared’s second name. But that was the only hint of sentimentality that she allowed herself.
At last Mike started school. When she was sure he was settled in happily she decided to return to work full-time. Only half hoping, she contacted Duncan at Brent, and he welcomed her back with open arms.
