Daniel read the phrase again and again, and suddenly time turned back and he was a boy of ten, wanting to learn the piano because it was only in making music that he could find the strength to cope with the pressures that were already threatening to crush him. But all authority had lain with his grandfather, who didn’t understand, and who was impatient of explanation.
And then, out of the blue, Alphonse had yielded. A fine music master had been engaged and a new joy had entered Daniel’s life. Yet even while he’d rejoiced he’d puzzled over his grandfather’s
He went to the secret drawer where he’d kept the other side of the correspondence since Lizzie’s first departure, yanking it out in a violent movement quite different from his usual restraint. The letters spilled all over the floor and he dropped to his knees, searching as though his life depended on it.
At last he found what he wanted: a letter from Liz in response.
There was more. For years Alphonse had laid his personal problems in his darling’s hands and trusted her answers. Daniel found the story of his childhood and teenage years relived in these letters.
He remembered his father’s death. How stiff and distant Alphonse had seemed over the loss of his only son. It was only to Liz that he had released the rage and pain that consumed him. In letter after letter he’d let out a howl of fatherly anguish.
Now he realised how much he’d overlooked when he’d first glanced through these pages. The sight of his own name in Liz’s letters gave him a sensation that he’d never known before, and which at first he couldn’t identify. But it was a good feeling-of being able to let down his guard in a trusted presence. Where Alphonse had worried how he should rear the future king, Liz had seen only the bereaved child.
Over weeks, months and years she had counselled love and gentleness to the child.
In Daniel’s mind those years were a blur. But now scenes began to come back to him: himself at nine years old, fighting back the tears even in the privacy of his own room, because now he was heir to the throne, and a man, and men didn’t cry. Then his grandfather coming in, seeing the tears he was too late to hide. He’d waited to be blamed, but instead the stern face had softened, a kindly hand had rested on his shoulder, and a gruff voice had whispered, ‘I know, my boy. I know.’
Other things. The music lessons-understood now for the first time. And Tiger, the mongrel, his own special care and his dearest friend. So much owed to this woman he’d never known.
Daniel took out the picture that Lizzie had left behind. It was hard to see much of Liz, standing in the shadows behind the other two. But he could make out the gentle glow of her face. And suddenly he could identify the unknown feeling that had eased his heart. His mother had died when he was a baby, and he’d never known a mother’s love, but over the years and the miles Liz had tried to make up for that lack. And she’d succeeded more than any other woman could have done. Looking at her now, Daniel thought he could understand why.
He hadn’t noticed the hours pass until Frederick knocked on the door. He answered it, but didn’t allow him in. Frederick was startled at his pallor.
‘Speak to my secretary,’ Daniel commanded. ‘Cancel any appointments I have for tomorrow. Say I’m detained on urgent business. And send me in some food.’
Through the night he worked, and then through the following day. When he came to an end he was unshaven and exhausted. But now he knew what he had to do.
She would sell the house, Lizzie decided as the plane headed back across the English channel. She had kept it almost as the Dame had left it, but now everything would remind her of the man who’d won her love with a lie. Just because she was a historian that didn’t mean she must live in the past. With the house gone she would put everything behind her, abandon her book on Alphonse, and find a new life for herself.
Her anger lasted until she was indoors and under the shower. But the hot water couldn’t lave her grief away and she let the tears come freely. She was a woman who never cried, but she cried now for the magic that had been a delusion, and for a feeling that she knew would never come again as long as she lived. Tonight she would let herself mourn what might have been. Tomorrow she would put it behind her and become a different woman, a more resolute and, if necessary, a harder one. Her mourning was for that too.
She spent the next day making plans. By evening the house bore a ‘For Sale’ notice and she told herself that things were proceeding wonderfully. Now all she wanted was to get out of here fast. She obtained some tea chests and began packing things away. With luck she could be out in a few days, leaving an agent to sell the house.
She worked blindly while the thoughts thrummed through her head. Everything that had happened in Voltavia had been an illusion, including Daniel’s feelings. She’d been useful to him. Now he had what he wanted, and she was disposable. That was all there was to it. At least she had the advantage of knowing exactly where she stood. As she threw things into tea chests her anger mounted.
Midnight passed, then one, then two in the morning. With her mind in turmoil there was no point in going to bed. She was still working frantically when the front bell rang. She opened the door and at once a hand came through the gap, preventing her slamming it closed.
‘Don’t shut me out,’ Daniel begged. ‘Not until you’ve heard what I have to say.’
‘We’ve said everything. Please go away Daniel. Nothing can make it right, and why bother?’
‘Don’t tell me what I have to do. I’m not one of your subjects.’ She wrenched free and went into the kitchen to put on the kettle. It was a way of not looking at him. If he saw her face he might also see the leap of joy she hadn’t been able to suppress at the sight of him. She thought she’d controlled it now, but she couldn’t be sure, and it was wisest not to trust him.
He followed her and stood watching as she moved about. ‘Not a word?’ he asked at last. ‘I turn up at this hour and you’re not even curious?’
‘What is there to be curious about? I’m sure you snapped your fingers and everybody jumped. Did they hold the plane for you?’
‘There wasn’t one. I chartered a special plane because all I could think of was getting to you. And I find a “For Sale” sign and you packing to leave.’ His voice became tinged with anger. ‘You really weren’t going to give me a second chance, were you?’
‘You don’t need a second chance,’ she cried. ‘You’ve got everything you wanted. And you were brilliant. I’ll give you that. You schemed and manipulated like a pro. But then, of course, you
‘Do you really believe that?’ he asked quietly. ‘You think there was nothing in my feelings for you but scheming?’
She shrugged. ‘Why deny it? It’s a perfectly honourable position for a king. Not for a man, of course, but what does that matter? The man can always hide behind the king, and that’s what you’re good at.’
He was about to hurl an angry reply at her when he caught a look at her face and read in it the misery and exhaustion of the last thirty-six hours.
‘I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you,’ he said. ‘It’s true I wasn’t honest with you at the start, but I swear that was only for a short time. It didn’t take me long to see how good and true you are, how much better than my fears. If you’ll let me, I’ll spend my life making it up to you.’
But his words washed over her. She couldn’t answer. She could only look at him sadly, thinking of the chance that was lost for ever.
‘How is Bess?’ he asked.
‘Holding on, but she’s very weak. I’m visiting her today.’
‘Good, because it’s partly her that I came to see.’
‘You can’t be serious.’
‘I was never more serious in my life. Since you left I’ve been reading all the letters-both sides of the
