‘I feel the same about you, Erin.’
I wanted to hold her, kiss her, make her better. And Dance Her to the End of Time, the song she’d played over and over.
‘And we have Sarah.’ She wasn’t exactly crying; my sense was she was trying not to. But her voice trembled. ‘She’s so beautiful, Dev.’
‘And so are you, Erin.’
Now the tears came gently, softly. ‘Would you fly out for my operation so we can be together, like a family?’
‘Of course I will.’
I sensed a smile through the snuffling. ‘Andy.’
‘What?’
‘He told you I’d ask you, didn’t he? Otherwise you wouldn’t have answered so quickly.’
‘Will this get him in trouble? I gave him my Boy Scout pledge.’
Another giggle. ‘You and your stupid Boy Scout pledge. You’re still using that after all these years?’
‘Yeah, it’s probably time I got some new material.’
‘I know you like Andy. You try not to and I don’t blame you in some ways. He’s just so damned nice. And it’s not put on. It’s how he really is. He cares about people and he really cares about me. Sarah tried to resist him at first but he finally won her over.’
Sarah had indeed resisted him. She’d supported her mother divorcing me but she was suspicious of Andy for the very reason Erin had fallen in love with him — he was so damned nice. Sarah hadn’t believed it and neither had I, and so we’d commiserated and speculated about when he would reveal himself to be a monster. But even Sarah had succumbed to his decency and for a bitter time I’d felt that I’d lost both wife and daughter to him.
‘I can’t wait to see you, Dev.’
‘Everything’s going to be all right, you know.’
‘That’s what Andy says. He’s very optimistic. But it is stage three. I’m scared, naturally. But with you and Sarah here — I still love you, Dev. I love Andy, too, but it’s a different kind of love with him. I still love you so much.’ Then, ‘Just a few days till the three of us are together again.’
‘I love you, Erin.’ I smiled. ‘I just wanted you to hear me say that.’
‘You’ve made me laugh again. And you used my line.’
‘I’ll see you in a few days.’
‘This has been wonderful, Dev. It really has.’
I sat there a long silent time afterward, a willing prisoner of the past.
‘How much have you paid so far?’
‘I’m trying to be pleasant about this,’ Jeff Ward said. ‘I wish I hadn’t even mentioned it the other night. I’ve handled it.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means that when my father ordered me to let you come down here he meant for you to look over the campaign. And this has nothing to do with the campaign because I’m taking care of it on the side.’
‘It has everything to do with the campaign and in other words you don’t want me to know what the blackmailer’s got on you or how much you’ve paid him or her.’
‘It’s none of your business. I was tired when I told you about it. I shouldn’t have said a word.’
‘I already know anyway.’
‘What the hell are you talking about?’
My hotel room. Nearly five o’clock. Raindrops shimmied down the windows. Wind lashed the trees across the street. The congressman had complained that I didn’t have the right to order him up here. I argued that this was the only safe place to talk. To that end I’d switched rooms. If anybody was planting bugs they were now one room behind.
We sat at a table overlooking the street that early dusk and rain had turned into gloom punctuated here and there with stoplights and neon. Green and red and yellow and the occasional ice blue for bars.
‘I’ve seen the blackmail DVD, Ward. I take it you have, too.’
‘Where the hell did you get hold of it?’
‘Right now I’d rather not say.’
‘You’d rather not say? You’re working for me, remember?’
‘No, I’m not. But I am trying to help you.’
He started rubbing his face with one hand and squeezing the beer bottle hard with his other. Rage and frustration rose from him like smoke from a machine that was about to explode.
‘Did you recognize the woman on the video?’ I said.
I had to let him sulk for a minute or so. ‘I didn’t actually see the video.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘I didn’t see the video. I heard it. That’s what he played for me.’
‘Who’s “he”?’
‘How the hell do I know who “he” is? He’s the ‘he’ who called me up and played the audio and said that this is from a video that they’re willing to sell me for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.’
‘And you paid him?’
‘Yes, I paid him.’
‘And you got a copy of the video?’
‘I didn’t get dick. The bastard screwed me.’
‘How long did it take for him to come back for more?’
‘Do you know how smug you sound right now? You know everything, don’t you, Conrad?’
‘I got it from TV when I was about ten, Ward. Blackmailers always come back for more. That’s rule number one. No genius involved in knowing that. So how long did it take?’
He swigged beer and then brought down his bottle like a judge gaveling down after he ordered a prisoner’s death. ‘One month. He wanted another two hundred and fifty thousand.’
‘What did his voice sound like?’
‘Electronic. Robot stuff. I’m only assuming it was a man. Could’ve been a woman the way they can do these things today.’
‘The prostitute on the tape. Was she telling the truth?’
He moved around in his chair and his eyes avoided mine. He was uncomfortable now. ‘Everybody has kinks. Everybody. Don’t tell me you don’t.’
‘I probably do.’
‘And she didn’t have any problem with what we were doing when we were together those times.’
‘Maybe because you were paying her. And maybe because she needed the money.’
‘Yeah, well, whatever, she didn’t say anything about it at the time.’
‘She never said at any time that she’d rather not do those things?’ Which is what she claimed on the DVD.
‘Well, I suppose she did. But she’s a whore. They all give you that shit from time to time. It’s just a way of getting more money from you. “I’m doing this extra-special thing for you so would you do something extra-special nice for me?” And anyway, what are you, a voyeur? Why are we even discussing all this crap?’
‘Because if this ever hits the press we’ll have to refute everything she says on that tape point by point.’
He came up out of the chair as if he was going to dive at me which, at that moment, I wouldn’t have minded. I’d slam his head against the table a few times and throw him the hell out and leave him to his fate. I just had to keep telling myself, We can’t lose this seat and let somebody like Burkhart win. He was fine as long as you weren’t of color, gay, poor, or held the protections of the Constitution near and dear. And not the so-called Constitution Burkhart and his followers had twisted into confirming all their prejudices.
‘Maybe you’re in on this whole thing, too.’
The stress was starting to make him paranoid.
I grabbed him by his famous black hair, then put the palm of my hand against his nose and shoved him backward as hard as I could. He hit the captain’s chair with enough force to knock it over. He followed it down, still ranting.
