Brolan had a straight scotch while his eyes adjusted to the gloom. He didn't see Tim Culhane anywhere. After a time he went to the men's room. The big clean white room was empty, nobody at the urinals, no feet sticking out beneath the stall doors.
He went back and had a second scotch. This time he asked the bartender-who looked somewhat familiar-if he'd seen Tim Culhane.
The bartender winked at him. Brolan hated winks. 'Think he got lucky.'
'Oh?'
'Brought some real babe in here; then they took off.'
'His car's still out in the lot. That's why I asked.'
The bartender winked again. 'Probably took her car. Is Tim boy lucky or what?'
Brolan decided to finish his drink slowly. Sometimes it felt good to stand alone at a bar and think about things. There was humanity all around you, reassuring in its way, and yet you weren't forced to be a part of it. He listened to an ancient Beades ballad, Lennon slightly too sweet for Brolan's taste but the song-'Norwegian Wood'- comforting in its smooth line of melody. At this moment even the corny decorations looked nice. He allowed himself the luxury of forgetting the spot he was in. He wanted to stay all night like this. There'd be other old songs on the jukebox. He could forget.
He felt the cold air on his back when the front door opened. A young couple came in. They had snow on their heads and shoulders. They looked enviably happy. The cold air reminded him again of what lay ahead. He no longer paid attention to the Beades; he downed his drink and started for the front door.
Earlier the snow had been light, scattered flurries. By this time it was a serious snow, making the Expressway slick, sticking to the contours of parked cars. Oddly enough it did not seem quite as cold.
He was just looking over Culhane's car-wondering where Culhane might have gone-when he saw headlights start down the steep incline to the parking lot. He thought nothing of them, just continued on to his own car.
After brushing off his front and back windows with his hand-the moist snow was heavy and white as paste-he slid in behind the wheel and closed the door. And it was then he got his first good glimpse of the car that had just pulled in.
It was a new silver Cougar. It was Kathleen's car.
Obviously the occupants hadn't seen him-neither Kathleen nor Culhane-and so they sat in her car talking and smoking cigarettes. Arguing, really. Or that's what it looked like anyway.
He sat there feeling stupid and embarrassed for all three of them. He should have known that eventually Kathleen would get around to the office heart throb.
In high school he'd dated a girl ('serious' dating for him; something less for her obviously), and one night, with no warning, he'd been walking along a river path and found her making out passionately with a senior boy. He'd never forgotten the sick and helpless feeling of that terrible moment. It had taken long and solitary weeks to recover, and even then he no longer trusted women the way he once had. He saw the power they had over him, and he knew he had to be wary.
At some point their argument ended, the one Kathleen and Culhane were having, because she leaned over and pulled him to her gently and kissed him.
Brolan could smell her perfume, taste her lipstick, feel the silk slip beneath her dress. He dropped his head, unable to watch anymore.
After a time he heard a car door open. He looked up. Culhane was leaving. He still leaned half-in, half-out of the Cougar. They were talking now. Intense talking. She took his hand and kissed it, something she'd done many times with Brolan. Even in the wan interior light she looked beautiful, far more beautiful than Brolan wanted her to.
Culhane went over to his car, got a scraper, and proceeded to clean the windows. She gave him a little beep and then left the parking lot. Brolan waited till she got to the top of the incline that lead to the access road and then the freeway. Then he went after her.
It took him twenty minutes to be sure where she was headed: home. A house in the North Oaks area. In the meantime they both slid around on the snow and ice. Brolan must have passed ten fender-benders. For all its vaunted winter Minneapolis went to hell during the season's first bad snow, as if its citizens had never seen the white stuff before and had no idea how to drive on it Miami couldn't have responded much worse. Unlike Miami, however, what made Minneapolis tolerable was that it was one of the world's great cities, big but not too big, modern but with traces of its prairie history and dignity still in evidence, proud but not disgustingly so a la San Francisco. Wherever he went on vacation, Brolan was always happy to be back in the loving arms of the Twin Cities.
Even after they left the freeway-Brolan keeping a quarter-mile behind her-the fender-benders continued, red-and-blue emergency lights splashing bright light on white snow. The cops looked fatigued already. They'd have a long night, probably one or two fatalities.
Only when she reached her own block did Brolan speed up, his car sluicing through the heavy slush. As she pulled into her garage at the side of the Victorian that she was house-sitting all these years while some rich college friends of hers 'did' Europe, Brolan came right in behind her.
Anger overwhelming him, he twisted off the ignition key and jumped from the car. He didn't get far. Just as he was about to enter the garage, the automatic door started descending in jerky fashion.
He had to stay out in the night until she left the garage. With only moonlight as illumination, the neighbourhood took on an appealing, Christmas card look. Other Victorians could be seen silhouetted against the dark blue, star-flecked sky, their towers and gables and patterned masonry chimneys nostalgic symbols of a gender time.
She was as angry as Brolan. 'Did you used to follow your wife around this way?' she said, emerging from the garage.
In the gloom he could not make out the details of her face, But he smelled her cologne and saw the appealing shape of her body inside her dark coat.
'Why the hell didn't you tell me about Culhane?' he said.
'Probably because it isn't any of your business.'
So, there you had it. She wasn't even going to deny anything. Offer any excuses.
She said, 'I want to go in.' She seemed beat. 'Alone.' He wanted to strike something. Curse something. He wanted to tell her how betrayed he felt, but what was the sense of whining, when she so obviously didn't care. He also wanted to tell her about Emma.
When he thought of Emma, he realized how dangerously he was giving in to himself. He should be trying to locate Charles Lane, the man who'd bought the painting of Emma from her pimp. Surely a man willing to pay for a painting could tell him something about Emma.
She said, 'I'm sorry, Frank.'
He had never heard her apologize before, for anything, and the sound of it surprised him.
She came over three steps, her heels cracking a membrane of ice as she moved. She took him by the coat and tugged him gently to her. In the moonlit gloom, both of them dark figures against the white snow, she kissed him tenderly on the lips. He tried not to think about her kissing Culhane less than' half an hour before.
'Some things just don't work out,' she said. 'It's not anybody's fault particularly. It's just-they don't work out.'
He had no idea what to say.
'I don't blame you for being angry with me, Frank. I don't even blame you for hating me. But I wish you'd try to believe me that I put everything I had into this relationship. It's just-we're different people, Frank. You want to settle down and get married again, and I understand that. But I'm younger than you, and I'm not ready for that. Not yet anyway. Maybe if we'd met a few years later-'
She left the thought unfinished.
At the mention of age Brolan felt foolish. Rather than her lover, he now felt as if he were merely some foolish older man who'd been pestering her, one of those pathetic men who embarrass themselves over young women.
He turned and started back to his car.
She grabbed his sleeve. 'I'd like you to come in.'
'What?'
