Several Deaths Later

'You're being sarcastic again.'

'I'm just trying to find out what's going on.'

'Let's leave that to the authorities.'

'There are lives at stake here.'

'There's also a show at stake.'

Tobin paused, seeing he was getting nowhere. Then, 'I nearly forgot.'

'Forgot what?'

'When Ken Norris threw a drink in your face, he told my friend, 'Todd's just sick of payday.' What did that mean?'

Tobin got the response he'd expected.

Todd Ames slammed down the phone.

22

3:12 P.M.

Dear Aberdeen,

You remember that real macho guy who used to be in that cop series, Kevin Anderson? Well, guess who's sleeping (snoring, actually, except mentioning that kind of spoils the effect of the mood I'm trying to create here) right next to me?

God, I can't believe it! Right next to me! Sleeping!

How it happened was we had two more murders on this boat-next time I go on a cruise ship, it's definitely going to be on a different line-and I went with Tobin (the TV critic you always said was cute even if he was short!) to check it out and then Tobin went to do something and-

Well, anyway, Kevin asked me if I wanted to go have a drink and I figured, you know, what could be the harm.

But he meant a drink in his room.

I wasn't real sure but then-you know how easily I can be influenced sometimes-he told me he'd had a small part in Saturday Night Fever and had actually gone drinking with John Travolta-and then that's what we got.

Ken and I, I mean-drunk.

And then next thing-

Well, he's sleeping right next to me.

(Back now. I had to go tinkle.) But I have to admit he's kind of weird, Kevin is. When he thought I was passed out, I heard him on the phone talking about this meeting the people on 'Celebrity Circle' were going to have-right in the middle of the night.

Then after he was gone, I got up and barfed and then I went back to bed, still trying to figure out why the 'Celebrity Circle' people would have a meeting that late and then I heard somebody come up to the door outside and I thought it might be the killer again so I scooched under the covers and waited and waited and waited and I really prayed (I was saying Hail Mary's, Aberdeen, and I'm not even Catholic) and then I heard this little swishing noise like under the door and I realized that somebody had pushed something under there and then I heard steps hurrying away down the corridor and when I finally got up to see what it was, I found this envelope and it was like weirdo-rama, Aberdeen, because inside was this really crummy Xerox copy of a picture of this little six-month-old baby. Who would send something like that.

I overheard Kevin tell Cassie in the bar that he'd gotten something yesterday, too-then this second letter. Really strange.

'What you writin', babe?'

'Oh, good morning, Kevin.'

'Good morning. So what're you writing?'

'Just kind of like a note.'

'A note.'

'Well, more like a letter.'

'A letter?'

'Yes.'

'To who?'

'Aberdeen.'

'Who's that?'

'This sort of heavy-set woman who has a mustache I work with at the insurance company.'

He was bored instantly. 'Oh.'

'I was telling her about last night.'

They were naked. It was the middle of the afternoon and they were still naked from the night before and needing showers and…

He reached over and kissed her right breast (the one whose nipple was about a quarter-inch longer than the other one, which really bugged her when she thought about it, and she thought about it more than you'd think) and said, 'So you told her about us.'

'Well.'

'It's OK, babe.'

'It is?'

'Sure.'

He grinned. 'First 'cause I'm good and I know I am and second because, well, it's just human nature to spread the news when you sleep with a celebrity.'

'It is?'

He was propped up on one elbow now and deftly stroking her shoulder. With his hair mussed, and slightly in need of a shave, and enough chest hair to make a grizzly envious, he really looked hunky. Really.

'Sure. First month I was in Hollywood, I slept with the late Constance LaRue.'

'Are you serious?'

'Right. I had just come out from a farm in South Dakota and I was parking cars at what's now the Harlequin Dinner Theater and she spotted me.'

'You mean spotted you for a movie or something?'

He grinned again. 'Or something. Connie-Constance-she liked very young, very industrious men.'

'But she played a nun in that musical with…' She shook her head. Boy, wait till she told Aberdeen about what Constance LaRue was really like.

'Have you ever been on Johnny Carson?' she asked.

'Couple of times.'

'He as nice as he seems?'

'He's an asshole. He should've quit ten years ago. On top. That's the only way to go out.' He paused. 'That's how I left my series. On top.'

Without thinking, Cindy said, 'But wasn't your series cane-'

And then, seeing the glare in his eyes, she said, 'Oh, that's right. You quit because you wanted to do movies.'

'Right.'

'I saw that one too. The Fungoids. It was really great.'

'Writing wasn't all it could've been but it was a good vehicle for me. It went through the roof in South America so I went down there a few years and made a bundle. That's how I bought all those doughnut franchises I was tellin' you about last night.'

'Oh, right.' Actually, Cindy had tried to forget about the doughnut franchises because somehow they spoiled the effect.