“But I should have wanted to be a mother as soon as I saw my daughter!”
Kristen thought of her own mother and tamped down a shudder. “Wanting to be a mother isn’t the same thing as being a good one. You knew the life you wanted wouldn’t accommodate motherhood, and you’d never be good at it. Why drag your child into a life that would be miserable for both of you?”
Norah looked up at her, eyes narrowed. “I guess you of all people would know about bad mothers.”
Kristen hid a flinch.
“I know what your mother did to you and your brothers and sisters,” Norah added when Kristen didn’t respond.
Kristen squelched the familiar rush of shame and anger, feeling even more certain of the decision she’d made earlier that day. She couldn’t go visit her mother, as the woman had requested. No way was she ready yet. “Who told you? Sam?”
“Of course not. Sam’s the soul of discretion.” Norah’s smile was almost apologetic. “See, I’m not the sort of woman who abides having my life pried into without returning the favor. As soon as Sam hinted that you were more complicated than you look, my curiosity wouldn’t rest until I did some checking. So I asked around about you when I went to rent the car. Seems you’re quite notorious around these parts.”
Kristen looked down at the scar on her hand, resisting the urge to beat a fast retreat. After all this time, she should be used to people knowing all the ugly details of her tragic history.
“My mother should never have been a parent,” Kristen admitted aloud. “So I do have some respect for your decision not to inflict yourself on Maddy.”
“Thanks-I think,” Norah answered wryly.
“You could do more harm than good by hanging around and mothering her if you’re not cut out for it. Sam’s a great father. He’s done a wonderful job with Maddy by himself. If you know you’d end up disappointing them both if you tried to start playing Mommy now-”
The sparkle of tears in Norah’s eyes caught Kristen by surprise. “I would. I hate that that’s how things are, but I don’t have it in me to change who I am at this point in my life.”
“Then don’t let your fiance’s aspirations push you into doing something that will hurt both Maddy and you.”
Norah scraped her hair out of her eyes. “Graham doesn’t want kids, either. But he knows it’s hard for people to understand, and God knows Halston Stevens will hammer him about it. ‘What kind of man would marry a woman who abandoned her beautiful little child? Do you want that kind of man for your Senator?’”
“The right thing to do isn’t always the easy thing to do. Matter of fact, it’s usually not.”
“Thank you, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
Kristen smiled. “You gonna be okay?”
Norah nodded. “I guess I should call Graham and tell him what’s happened.” She walked with Kristen to the door. “I know I’ve been a pain since I arrived-”
“It’s part of your charm,” Kristen said, still smiling.
Norah returned the smile. “Like prickly and defensive is part of yours?”
Kristen nodded, realizing she’d finally made Norah recognize her as an equal. “Exactly.”
Norah’s expression grew serious as she opened the door. “Protect my daughter. Find out who’s trying to use her to hurt Sam and make them pay. Will you do that for me?”
“Yes,” Kristen answered. “I’ll do everything I can to protect them both.”
“Good.” Norah managed a weak smile and lifted her hand in a goodbye salute. She closed the door, leaving Kristen alone in the narrow hallway.
When she reached her car, Kristen called the office to see if anyone was still in the detective’s office. The Gossamer Ridge Police Department wasn’t large enough or busy enough to field a twenty-four-hour detective’s division, but there was usually a night detective on duty until 11:00 p.m.
In this case, she got Jason Foley on the phone. “What are you still doing there?” she asked. “Gina finally come to her senses and kick you out of the house?”
“Ha. She and the kids are visiting her folks in Huntsville for the night, so I thought I’d review some of the neighbor interviews from Mission Road, see if I missed any clues.”
“Did you?”
“Of course not. I’m a seasoned law enforcement professional,” he answered glibly. “Heard you had a scare tonight with the Cooper kid.”
“Yeah, but it had a happy ending.”
“Gee, Tandy, two days on babysitting duty and you’ve already lost the kid once,” Foley said, clicking his tongue. “That’s not gonna look good in your personnel file.”
She made a face at the phone. “Need me to come in and help you go through the interviews?”
“Is your life really that pathetic? You’re twenty-eight and single, Kristen. If you don’t want to go back to kidsville at the moment, go pick up a guy at a bar or something.”
“You’re just full of good advice. I’m so lucky to have you as my partner.” She made another face at the phone. “I’m heading back to Cooper’s place. Call me if you need me.”
“Wait a second.” Foley’s voice went serious, setting Kristen’s nerves instantly on edge.
“Found something?”
“Maybe.” He sounded a little hesitant. “New interview-Carl put a couple of uniforms on the beat to cover more of the area faster, and this one came in this afternoon. Interview with a neighbor about two doors down from the Cooper house-Regina Fonseca. Her daughter goes to preschool where Maddy does. I know we’re keeping the photos quiet for now, but the uniform thought to ask her if she’d noticed anyone paying special attention to Maddy.”
“Did she?”
“Not Maddy per se. But apparently she got to talking about how hard it is these days to know who can be trusted and who can’t. Said she’d freaked out when she saw a guy taking pictures of the preschool playground a couple of weeks ago-thought it might be a pedophile-until she recognized him as the photographer who does the class photos for the school.”
“That doesn’t automatically rule him out as a suspect,” Kristen said, a little buzz of excitement building in her veins.
“No, it doesn’t…”
“Good catch. I’ll check it out in the morning.” She rang off and started the car. The clock on the dashboard of the Impala read 10:15 p.m. She hoped Sam wouldn’t be in bed yet. She wanted to get his take on what Foley had uncovered.
And, if she were honest, she just wanted to see him again before she settled down for the night in the guesthouse’s spare bedroom. Her body still hummed from their earlier embrace, as if her skin had memorized the sensation and kept playing it over and over like a favorite record.
As crazy and dangerous an idea as it was, she wanted more, and her usual self-control seemed to have left town.
Parked outside the guesthouse, she cut the engine and sat in the dark, wrestling with her reckless desires. Beyond the ethical and procedural problems inherent in getting involved with a crime victim, she was as wrong for Sam Cooper-and his daughter-as Norah Cabot ever thought of being. She had bad mothering in her genes, for God’s sake. Her mother hadn’t always been a nutcase-what if having kids drove Kristen to the same deadly extremes? She couldn’t really know, could she?
And yet-she’d been a good mother to her brothers and sisters when her own mother couldn’t. The little ones had secretly called her Mommy, going to her when they skinned knees, wanted a cup of milk or needed a bedtime story read. Didn’t that count for something?
Across the darkness in front of her flashed an image of her two youngest siblings, sprawled across the hardwood floor of their bedroom, covered in their own blood. Kristen squeezed her eyes shut, trying to force the image away, but the truth remained. She’d failed them in the end, no matter how good her intentions.
Was she going to fail Maddy Cooper, as well?
A knock on her car window made her jerk. She looked up wildly to find Sam Cooper standing outside the car, his face illuminated by the pale blue glow of a quarter moon overhead.
She rolled down the window, feeling foolish.
