her past. That’s what it all came down to, wasn’t it?
Well, he couldn’t accept that argument. He couldn’t accept that she was doomed to solitude because of her mother’s sins. It wasn’t right or fair.
He pushed aside his own cereal bowl, welcoming the surge of frustration that drove out the hurt he’d felt a few seconds earlier. “I know you had a horrible childhood. Your recent history probably hasn’t been the greatest, either. But I don’t think life picks winner or losers, Kristen. I think we choose that ourselves-if we have the guts to.”
She stared at him, shaking her head. “You think the problem is that I’m afraid of being happy?”
“Yeah, I do.”
She threw up her hands. “Believe me, I don’t want to live alone the rest of my life. I don’t want to freak out every time I’m around kids. I love kids! I used to be great with kids. I used to dream about growing up and having children of my own.”
“Then do it.”
She shot him a glare as he took a step toward her. He backed off.
“I would love to jump into a relationship with you and see where it goes. What woman wouldn’t? You’re sexy, successful, funny…” She drew a long, shaky breath, blinking hard to hold back the tears. “But I’m a bad risk, Sam. Not just for you but also for Maddy. My mother wasn’t always crazy, you know. For all I know, what happened to her was genetic. It could happen to me, too.”
“You can’t know that.”
“And you can’t be sure I’m wrong,” she countered.
He wanted to argue, but she was right. He couldn’t be sure. He knew nothing about her mother’s situation, what had caused her madness and whether or not Kristen’s own mind was a ticking time bomb. “Have you never asked anyone what caused your mother’s mental break? Her doctor, maybe?”
Her expression was bleak. “No.”
“Maybe you should.”
Her lips flattened with frustration. “I need to leave now. Before Maddy wakes up.”
Sam swallowed hard, fighting the urge to touch her, to try something, anything to make her reconsider walking out of their lives this way. He could tell there was nothing he could say right now to change her mind.
He wasn’t even sure he should try.
He stepped away from her, jamming his restless hands into his pockets. “Maddy will be hurt if you leave without saying goodbye, Kristen.”
She grimaced. “It’s been only three days, Sam. She’ll forget me sooner than you think.”
He wasn’t so sure. Maddy had apparently reached the age where having a mother seemed important, and with her own mother heading back to D.C. and out of the picture, Maddy had picked Kristen to fill the void, just as she might have picked a new puppy at the pound.
Maybe Kristen was right not to make a big deal out of saying goodbye. Perhaps the best way to handle Maddy’s certain disappointment would be the same way he’d handle saying no to a new puppy-blatant distraction tactics.
“I think you’re right,” he said evenly, even though a heavy ache had settled right in the center of his chest. “No big goodbye. I’ll have my folks keep her busy today and tomorrow while I finish readying the house for us to move back, and Monday she’ll start back to preschool, which she’ll love. It’ll be okay.”
Kristen nodded, although he saw worry in her eyes. It was more than he’d seen in Norah’s eyes when she left, he realized. All he’d seen in his ex-wife’s expression as she headed for her gate at the airport were equal parts guilt and relief.
“This is for the best, Sam.” Kristen reached for the bowl of now-soggy cereal sitting on the counter, starting toward the garbage disposal.
He caught her arm, stopping her. She gazed up at him, her lips trembling slightly.
It would be so easy to kiss her, he thought. Just a soft, sweet kiss goodbye.
But he forced himself to let her go, taking the bowl from her unsteady hands. “I’ll take care of this. You should go now, before Maddy wakes up.”
The stricken look in her eyes almost unraveled his resolve. But she moved away quickly, before he could falter, grabbing her purse and jacket and heading out the door at a clip.
Sam forced himself to empty the two bowls of cereal into the garbage disposal and wash up, needing the activity to take his mind off the strange, empty feeling that had hollowed out his insides the second the door had closed behind Kristen.
“WHEN I GET HOME, CAN WE go see Miss Kristen?” Maddy asked as Sam unlatched her safety seat Monday morning.
Sam sighed, lifting her out of the Jeep and setting her on the ground. “Miss Kristen is very busy at work now, Maddy. Don’t you remember, we talked about this last night.”
Maddy’s little face scrunched up with displeasure. “I wanna see Miss Kristen!”
So much for his daughter being easily distracted. She’d been asking about Kristen for two days straight. “Tell you what, this afternoon, when Aunt Hannah picks you up from school, maybe she’ll take you out fishing.” He made a mental note to check with his sister to see if she already had a client lined up that afternoon. Surely she’d give herself a day or so to get settled back in from her trip to Arizona and wouldn’t mind some one-on-one time with her youngest niece.
He saw warning signs that Maddy was gearing up to argue, so he took her hand and tugged her gently up the walkway to the front entrance of Gossamer Ridge Day School, where the director, Jennifer Franks, was greeting children that morning. When she caught sight of Sam and Maddy, her expression shifted quickly to regret.
“I was horrified to read about Mr. Morris’s arrest,” she said earnestly. “I’m so sorry I hired him-we had no idea-”
“Nobody did,” Sam assured her. “There was never any indication in his background that he’d be any sort of threat. You couldn’t have known.”
“Still, we take these things very seriously. We’ve hired guards to patrol the grounds during the day so parents can feel secure about leaving their children with us.” Jennifer waved toward a young man in a blue uniform standing a few steps away. “One here at the front entrance and another in the play area.”
Seeing the guard did ease Sam’s mind a bit. He supposed the bad publicity about Morris had forced the director’s hand.
Maddy caught sight of one of her friends and tugged her hand out of Sam’s, dashing away with a squeal of delight. Sam watched her go with a smile, though mild anxiety tugged at his gut. Over the past few days, he’d gotten used to having her close, protected by himself or people he trusted implicitly. It was hard to let go of that control, but he couldn’t keep her wrapped in cotton padding and stored under glass.
“She’ll be fine,” Jennifer said.
“She asked me to put her favorite stuffed toy in the bag,” Sam warned the principal. “I know you have rules about bringing toys to school, but she’s had a rough few days. I made her promise to give the backpack to the teacher as soon as she got in the classroom and not to bug Miss Kathy about taking Bandit out of the bag during class.”
Jennifer smiled sympathetically. “I suppose we can look the other way just this once.”
Sam thanked her, turning to watch Maddy until she disappeared into her classroom down the hallway. With a tugging sensation in the middle of his chest, he returned to his car to make the long drive into Birmingham for his first full day back at the office.
Sam was smart enough to know that any interference from him might jeopardize the District Attorney’s case against Darryl Morris, and the last thing he wanted to do was provide Morris with any sort of get-out-of-jail-free card. So he resisted the temptation to snoop around the office’s newest case, instead spending the morning buried under the backlog of cases he’d had to put on hold the week before while he dealt with the threat to Maddy, sorting through what cases could be easily pleaded out and which ones would require actual court time.
By the time his cell phone rang that morning around eleven, he was bleary-eyed and grateful for the interruption. “Cooper.”
“Sam, it’s J.D. Cissy’s awake.”
“JUST STICK WITH IT a few more days,” Foley cajoled, following at Kristen’s heels as she checked the fax machine to see if anything had come in overnight. She turned quickly, and Foley almost barreled into her, grabbing
