An argument for another day, I said. Right now I m here to ask for your help.
It was Latimer s turn to raise an eyebrow. Really? And just why would I want to do that?
I leaned forward across her desk and showed her my hand encased in a golden gauntlet. Vicious barbed spikes rose out of the clenched metal fingers.
Catherine Latimer smiled briefly. Typical Drood.
She didn t speak a Word or even gesture, just looked at me in a certain way and an invisible force snatched me up and held me tightly in its grasp. I fought against it but couldn t move a muscle. I was picked up off my feet, lifted up into the air, spun around several times and then slammed, spread-eagled, against the ceiling, looking down. I called for my armour but it didn t come. The boss had cut me off from my torc. I hadn t thought that was possible.
Molly started forward the moment she saw what was happening to me. The boss fixed her with a certain look, and Molly froze in place, locked between one movement and the next, in a stance that looked excruciatingly uncomfortable. Her face strained, her eyes full of silent fury, but she couldn t move a muscle. Any more than I could. The shillelagh slipped out of her paralysed hand and fell to the floor. Catherine Latimer allowed herself a brief smile.
You don t spend as much time as I have operating in the hidden world, in any number of influential capacities, without picking up a useful trick or two. Never bait the bear in her cave, children. If I let you both down, will you behave?
Almost certainly, I said from the ceiling.
Molly managed a more or less compliant grunt.
The boss sat back in her chair and drew deeply on her cigarette holder. I fell down from the ceiling, only just managing to get my feet under me in time. I also only just managed to grab Molly by the shoulder as she lunged forward again. I wrestled her to a halt, murmuring urgently in her ear, and she finally stopped. She shrugged sulkily and turned her back on the boss and me. I looked at Catherine Latimer.
I m pretty sure Crow Lee was behind the attack on my family, I said.
Unholy Crow Lee? said the boss. Could be. He d have the power and the gall, if anyone would. I was at Cambridge with him, you know. Back in the day. Had no doubt he was a bad sort even then. Cheated at cards, wouldn t pay his debts and insisted on reciting his own poetry in public. And now he s the Most Evil Man in the World or so people in a position to know say. Why should I help you against him?
Because if Crow Lee has become powerful enough to remove the entire Drood family from the playing field, how long before he comes after you and your organisation? I said.
Latimer nodded slowly and blew a perfect smoke ring. Good point. All right, Edwin. A temporary alliance. But you re going to owe me a really big favour for this.
Agreed, I said. A favour for a favour. And then I stopped and looked at her thoughtfully.
I have to ask: Did you by any chance know that something really bad was going to happen to my family? Did you have any information or warnings in advance and not tell us?
No, said the boss.
Would you tell us if you did? said Molly, slipping into place beside me.
Probably not, said the boss. I tend my own garden.
So, why are you so ready to help me now? I said.
Because I ve wanted a chance to bring Crow Lee down for ages, said Latimer. I really hoped your family would kill him long ago, just on general principle, but somehow you were always too busy with other things. I half expected to see him go down with the Great Satanic Conspiracy, but of course he was smart enough not to get involved. Personally, I think they weren t extreme enough for him. And, of course, he never was interested in joining any group that wouldn t immediately accept him as their leader. If they had, they might have beaten you. But he s always been too powerful and too well-connected for me to touch. So, you kick the little turd into the long grass with my blessing, Edwin. If you can. She looked at me for a long moment. Is it just you, Edwin? Did any of the other Droods survive?
No one else from my family made it out of the Hall alive, I said carefully. There s always the rogues, of course.
Of course. I am sorry for your loss, Edwin. Some of them were my friends. And I do know what it s like to lose family. Now, what can I do for you?
I need information, I said. Where, exactly, can I find the Department of the Uncanny and the Regent of Shadows?
Catherine Latimer looked genuinely surprised. Why on earth would you want him, of all people?
Because my family never wanted to talk about him, I said.
CHAPTER SIX
It doesn t matter how much experience you have of the world or how much you think you understand how things work; every now and again the way things really are will just rise up and slap you round the head.
Molly and I stood together looking up at Big Ben, with Molly not saying I told you so so loudly it was almost deafening. As Catherine Latimer had taken a certain delight in telling me, the Department of the Uncanny was indeed currently based at Big Ben. Just as Madame O had said back on Brighton Pier.
Smugness really is very unattractive in a woman, I said, looking straight ahead. Bloody Big Ben I ve heard of hiding in plain sight, but this is ridiculous. Hiding one of this country s most secret organisations behind a major tourist attraction? That s thinking so lateral, it s positively perverse.
Big Ben is actually the name of the bell, Molly said solemnly. Not the tower, or the clock at the top. I know many other useful facts about Big Ben, if you re interested.
I mean, we re talking about a bloody big tower right next to the House of Commons! I said bitterly. And no one in that place could keep a secret even if you put a gun to their nads.
Molly looked at me sharply. We re not going to have to go down into Under Parliament again, are we? That whole layout gave me the creeps big-time.
No, I said. There s a hidden door right at the base of the tower. Raise your Sight and look straight ahead.
I was already looking at it. A simple everyday door, standing upright on its own some two to three feet in front of the tower. Invisible and intangible to the rest of the world, it was a dimensional door, kept subtly out of phase with reality to provide a gateway to another place. Which meant the Department of the Uncanny wasn t actually in Big Ben, but somewhere else. Which meant that technically speaking, I d been right all along. I had enough sense not to say that, of course. There was even a very neat and polite sign on the door saying, DEPARTMENT OF THE UNCANNY; ENQUIRE WITHIN, for those with the eyes to see it. What next a welcome mat? Guided tours? A souvenir shop?
Stop frowning, said Molly. It ll give you wrinkles. Tell me things about the Department of the Uncanny. Lecture me. You know that always puts you in a better mood.
It would have made a much better peace offering if she could have said it without the smirk, but of such compromises are successful relationships made. Or so I m told.
Catherine Latimer had quite a lot to say about the Department of the Uncanny, I said. While you were prowling round her office, looking for more things to steal. Most of these remarks were of a somewhat jealous and judgemental nature, but that s competing secret organisations for you. It s what she didn t say that intrigues me the most. She seemed to know things only about the Department s previous incarnation, when it was run by the Shadowy Cabinet. Political appointees, the lot of them, and living proof that it s who, rather than what, you know that gets you ahead in government circles. They re all gone now, of course; the entire Shadowy Cabinet was killed off during the Great Satanic Conspiracy.
Whose side were they on? said Molly.
No one knows, I said. The Satanists wiped them all out, apparently for not making up their minds quickly
