Blame It On Paris

wasn't their own kid.

She took a first sip of the wine, thinking that she wanted this. Not her mother's life. Her own. But she did want to raise kids and have a family in a neighborhood like this. It didn't have to be in South Bend.

It could be anywhere. But she couldn't deny wanting to raise a family in a neighborhood. American style. Not French.

The wine suddenly caught in the back of her throat, but then her mother finally hung up the phone and turned to her.

'Sounded like a business deal that is really going well?' Kelly said swiftly.

'Yes. a closing. A terrific deal, but forget that. What's the wine for? Did you make up with Jason? Or have a fight and not make up? What's wrong?'

'It's not about Jason, Mom. It's about you.' She handed her mom the biggest glass. 'Take a sip,' she urged her.

'Are you pregnant?'

'Take a sip.'

'God. You're not sick, are you? You look so wonderful-'

Kelly sat across from her, on the old white frame rocker that had once belonged to her grandmother. 'Come on, I told you I met my dad when I was in Paris. You know we're overdue for this conversation. Enough's enough. Tell me the story.'

Her mother opened her mouth, and then stopped, looking sick and unnerved. Her mom, who never had a hair out of place, who could probably run the UN in her sleep, stared at the wine in her glass as if she were lost in the reflection.

Kelly leaned forward. 'His wife died, some time ago. But his two sons are a little older than me, so he had to have been married and had those kids when you met him. I have half brothers. Mom. Family. Maybe none of them want to know me-and maybe I don't want to know them-but darn it, they're blood kin.'

Finally Char's eyes shot up. 'I swear I was going to tell you. honey.'

'When I was fifty?'

Her mother's cell sang out, but Char turned it off. She closed her laptop and faced Kelly with soft, worn eyes. 'This is what it was all really about, isn't it? Your breakup with Jason. Not so much about Will, but about finding out about your father.'

'Maybe partly. Cripes, I don't know.' Kelly sighed, a long, miserable sound coming from her throat. 'I felt totally and completely thrown when I found out he was alive, when I found out who he was. I thought my dad was a hero-not a guy who played around on his wife, much less had a wife with young children. And you, Mom, I trusted more than anyone else alive. And you lied to me. I love you. but I don't understand why you didn't tell me the truth. I know everything in your life isn't my business, but for heaven's sake. I could have had a father in my life. Even if he was a piker, he still might have had a role in my life. Why did you lie?'

'Because I thought I had to, honey.'

At the look in her mother's face, Kelly leaned forward and grabbed the wine bottle. This was no time for sipping. She filled up both glasses and waited.

Her mom haltingly started to fill in the blanks. 'I went to Paris to study for a year at the Sorbonne- which you know. And that's when I met him. He wasn't in school. I met him at a bistro. It was chance. I took one look and fell head over heels.' She pushed at her hair. 'I was the archaic good girl. A virgin. And your dad…well, he was every fantasy I ever dreamed of. Strong, yet gentle. Worldly, experienced with women. He knew what to say, what to do, to make me feel like the most desirable woman who had ever been born.' She sighed. 'I'm sure that sounds naive.'

'No, it doesn't.' Kelly said softly, thinking she understood. Too well. Too much. Too completely.

'I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm just trying to say how it was. I not only fell in love, I fell way, way over my head. I didn't have a clue he was married- he didn't lie to me, he just didn't tell me. It's different there. Or it was different then. He married for business, as did his wife. They were happy enough. He just went outside the marriage from time to time for…for romance. I guess you'd say. I don't believe your father saw it as wrong. Cheating in a marriage there wasn't looked at the same way it is here. Or maybe he thought I was smarter than I was-smarter about life, smarter about men-and that I knew the rules of the game we were playing.'

Lights started coming on around the neighborhood. The sound of children's voices died, as the kids were called in for bed. The first firefly showed up in the dusky light. And still they talked.

'When I found out he was married…in fact, that his wife had recently given birth to new baby, a son… I almost died. He said his wife hadn't been well enough to have 'relations' for months, as if that explained why he'd strayed. Truthfully, Kelly. I shut down like a slammed door when I found out. I bought a ticket home in a matter of hours, was throwing things in a suitcase, taking off for home at the speed of sound.'

'You didn't know you were pregnant then?'

'Didn't even cross my mind. Getting away from him, from Paris, from the whole mess, was the only thing on my mind.'

'But, Mom…' That time, when Kelly tried to pour, she discovered they'd finished the bottle. Undoubtedly there was wine or liquor somewhere in the house, because her mom entertained, even if she wasn't much of a drinker. But when it came down to it, she didn't want any more. And neither, from the look of her mother's face, did she. 'Why didn't you tell me that you never got married? Why did you keep this a secret from me? Why didn't you tell him that he'd gotten you pregnant? Or did you?'

'I didn't tell anyone. Obviously, my mother knew there was a man in France, but not all of the circumstances. She nursed me through a broken heart, helped me through the pregnancy. So did the rest of the family. But as far as telling anyone else-or you-I never told because I was just plain ashamed.'

'But why? Tons of women choose to be single moms. You weren't living in the Dark Ages, Mom. No one has to cover stuff like that up anymore.'

Her mother said quietly, 'He was married, with small children.'

'But still-'

'He was married. With small children,' her mother repeated. 'I wasn't ashamed of what other people would think. I was ashamed of me.'

Kelly sucked in a breath. 'Aw, Mom. Damn it all.'

'And that's why I didn't want you to know. Because I didn't want you ashamed of both your parents. Bad enough that your father was a cheater, but if I'd told you the truth, you'd have thought I was the kind of woman who'd sleep with a married man, who'd risk breaking up a marriage-a marriage with small children. I didn't want you to know the truth. I wanted to give you a family you could be proud of. I wanted you to think you came from good people. I wanted you to think that I was a good woman, a good mother.'

'Oh, for God's sake. Mom…' Kelly surged out of the chair and wrestled her mom out of hers. She folded Char up in a big hug and squeezed tight.

Cripes, she'd come here afraid she'd end up crying…not making her mother cry.

And she'd come to demand answers…only dagnabbit. her mom had given her answers. Exactly what she wanted. Yet instead of making her feel better, she'd not only upset her mother, but made herself feel worse.

In fact, she felt downright scared.

Will was nothing like her dad. He wasn't married. Wasn't a cheater. He was an honorable guy right down to the gut. But damn…Kelly kept thinking that it was hard not to be afraid of repeating her mother's mistake.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

WILL STOOD AT his father's office window. The view was his dad's favorite-not the river, not trees or a pretty landscape, but the sea of concrete and brick manufacturing facilities stretched below. For the past hour, the