More loyalty he didn’t want? Or was she being irrationally sensitive? Yet a simple decision had somehow turned into something absurdly complex.
“Would the two of you quit fighting over my company?” Morgan complained humorously.
“Nut,” she retorted, as she finally pulled up her collar and headed out the door. It was a nasty evening. The wind had a bite to it; the rain was spattering down from a cold, black sky. Morgan snatched at her hand to hurry her to his Porsche, and when she settled breathlessly in the seat and glanced back at the house, Kyle was at the window, a still, tall form without expression, his face in shadow.
For a moment, there was the sharpest pain in the region of her heart. Kyle had already turned away as Morgan started the engine, and the unfamiliar sound of such power in a car distracted her from the intense ache of loneliness she felt, both from within her and from the look of the man she was married to.
“This is luxury!”
“You’ll be spoiled, I guarantee it.”
She tried to be impressed with the car, to please Morgan. The seats had a soft, velvety feel, and the chrome up front glittered beneath wet street lamps as they sped along. The Porsche appeared to take corners on a dime and certainly swallowed the road, making Morgan grin like a small boy showing off. On one curve, his shoulder inevitably brushed hers, and gradually it occurred to her that she was actually alone in the car with Morgan, as if she were single, on a date.
His aftershave was pervasive in the closed car, and his profile was outlined as the glow of street lights spilled in to silhouette it-a very good-looking Roman profile with just the slightest hint of extra flesh beneath his chin. The black turtleneck emphasized his blondness, and she saw a rather cruel cut to his mouth she hadn’t noticed before. The gleam in his dark eyes she had always seen as softness now seemed something else.
“We’ll have you warm in a minute. But I can hardly believe we have to turn on a heater at the end of July.”
There was a crowd in front of the small movie theater as Morgan’s car pulled up. She stepped out of the car automatically, and Morgan chided her for it. “I still happen to like opening car doors for a lady. You’ve obviously been married too long, sexy.”
She laughed, but perhaps that was the beginning of a rather silly feeling of unease. His arm went around her shoulder to protect her from the windy rain as they waited on line, and though it was just a normal affectionate gesture, she felt disquieted again. There was a little contretemps when she pulled out her change purse to pay for her ticket, and she gave up, finally. The idea of her paying actually seemed to offend him. At the popcorn counter, they had a prolonged debate over candies-still another strangeness. Chiding herself for her oversensitivity-this was
Once the movie started, she managed to relax. The story was exactly what had been promised-a man who bed-hopped was finally caught by a Little Miss Priss type. Priss was, of course, sexy as hell once she took off her glasses; the hero never knew what hit him. The story didn’t have a shadow of realism to it, and the theme was antiquated, but it did have humor and warmth and lightness…abetted by Morgan, who provided a whispered running commentary next to her. “Do you believe that fool?” he hissed in her ear. “No one could be that stupid.”
“The worst rakes always fall like gangbusters,” she whispered back. “You just know how happy you could be being led around on a leash, sweetheart.” She had taken off her sandals and had her legs curled under her, which was the way she always watched movies. Morgan’s shoulders filled the adjoining seat, and he had one leg crossed over the other; he was a husky man who took up space. He’d insisted she hold the popcorn that she hadn’t wanted in her lap, and he continually reached for it. She shifted regularly. His fingers invariably brushed her thigh or stomach in the dark before they found the container of popcorn. She was sure he was unconscious of it, but she was all too aware of these intimate contacts.
When the lights went back on, Morgan groaned his displeasure over the ending. “He should have ditched her. My God, he had a terrific life before he got involved with her.”
Erica shook her head with mock gravity. “He was wearing himself out, undoubtedly would have died at an early age.”
“Too much sex never killed anyone,” Morgan assured her wickedly. The comment ended as a whisper in her ear because he was helping her on with her coat.
“Who’s talking about sex? He deserved to be murdered, a slow boil in oil. One of those jilted women was going to get smart.”
It was nonsense, their dissection of the movie, but it lasted until they reached the car. The rain had stopped, but the wind was still tugging at anything not bolted down. Wisps of paper fluttered in the air, and the clouds were restless above, skimming across the night sky. Morgan had grabbed her arm and had it captured in his, his head bent a little to the wind as they walked. Now he opened the door and helped her into the Porsche, tucking in the hem of her raincoat, which had been trying to trail. “Do you mind if we just drive for a little while?” he asked her abruptly as he got in on his side.
Between a physically tiring day and the emotional weariness of too many before it, Erica was exhausted. “Of course I don’t mind,” she said softly. Morgan had been doing his best to entertain her and chase away the doldrums; she could hardly say no. She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. Her aching muscles echoed another kind of ache inside. She had a sudden picture in her mind of Kyle working alone all evening, his eyes narrowed in intense concentration, his jaw set the way it did when he had his mind totally on what he was doing.
She suddenly recalled the first movie she’d gone to with Kyle, during which he’d hidden those shoes she invariably took off. She remembered his disgusted “I guess I’ll have to carry you,” which he had proceeded to do to her intense embarrassment, kissing her every third step out into the darkened night until he made the mistake of stumbling, and one of her shoes popped out of his pocket…
Morgan stopped the car, and her eyes opened. They were nowhere, the town lights behind them. It was just a side road cradled on both sides by huge oaks and maples, their branches overhanging the pavement, wet and glistening. “Could we walk for a bit?” he asked.
It was past time to be home, but Morgan was already out of the car, waiting in front of it for Erica to join him. The night breeze was rippling the black turtleneck, and his blond hair was silvery in the moonlight. She felt a shiver of worry that seemed too ridiculous to voice, and stepped out of the car, leaving her purse on the seat. They walked along the side of the road for a while, both silent, the breeze lifting Erica’s hair in sensuous swirls that tickled her throat. She dug her hands into her pockets and walked with her head down, watching the gleaming stretch of black road ahead, inhaling the sharp woodsy scents around them. She was almost unconscious of Morgan until he stopped. “Erica?”
She tilted her head up to look at him. His tone was oddly pleading, as if he were begging her to notice him. The darkness touched odd shadows on his face so that he appeared to be in pain, his cheekbones stark and his eyes in hollows. “What’s wrong, Morgan?” He had been quiet for an age-Morgan who was so rarely quiet-and she had been so immersed in her own world that she had barely noticed. Inside her, guilt stirred, for the friend Morgan was to Kyle and for how little the two of them had given back to Morgan since he came here.
“Erica, just let me hold on to
He talked of Marissa, whom he’d been seeing the previous spring. Erica had heard the name before; Morgan had even made a rare admission months before that he cared for this woman. In spite of all Morgan’s playing around, Erica had understood that there might have been marriage potential there, until he’d brushed off talk of that-and the lady-when he visited in June. It was his own fault that he’d lost her, and the breach was irretrievable, but he was taking hard the loss and the loneliness.
“Erica…” His cheek nestled in her hair as he rocked her to him. The strain in his voice evoked the compassion that was so much a part of Erica’s nature…yet his hold on her shoulders was so tight that her neck ached and her hair was pulling taut. She was touched that he had turned to her, and she hurt for him. Still, there was something alien, a sense of wrongness because breast and chest were pressed together, thigh and thigh…but she didn’t know what to do. Not to offer comfort was unthinkable. To move away might be interpreted as rejection.